Anyone else not like doing anything?

[happy2bstill]

Would just like to preface this by saying I am definitely not depressed. Haven't got social anxiety. And have a very happy, stable marriage. And a little family.

Today we've been out on a family day, think trampolining, pedal boats, shopping, lunch at a restaurant, that sort of thing.
I strongly disliked 95% of it, for no reason.
Boats were the best thing. But everything else is just blah, overpriced and mind numbing.
This extends into all areas if my life, I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing that gets me excited, other than the boring, mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy. Sometimes going for a nice walk.

I can't stand any organised activities that I'm supposed to like, cannot for the life of me understand why people enjoy shopping, pubs, weddings, holidays, travel, cinema, hobbies, classes (like yoga) exercise, social events, parties, festivals, days out etc etc.
I don't even like books 😒

I'm not moaning, I'm just wondering if anyone else is like this? As I said, I am genuinely happy and enjoy my life, until we have to do something 'enjoyable'.

Maybe it's peri-menopause? I've always been this way inclined, but currently it has ramped up to a whole new level. I want to enjoy different experiences, I just don't. And have no desire to try and enjoy things.

I was thinking that!
I perfectly understand people preferring to be at home rather than go out, but I can't understand not reading or watching a movie or listening to music or doing a craft or something! What do you do in the evening? I assume OP's DC are not tiny.

Depression doesn't always look like persistent sadness. The loss of pleasure (known as anhedonia) is often the main symptom for many people.

https://research.reading.ac.uk/research-blog/2023/08/21/depression-isnt-just-sadness-its-often-a-loss-of-pleasure/

I struggle with the idea of doing something 'fun' at a set time. I like the idea of Christmas Day and going on holiday, but when it comes to actually doing it I always feel a bit flat. If I make plans with a friend, I always have a few moments of 'I really don't want to do this' (I always make myself go, and it's ok) but I wish it wasn't my automatic response. As a result, I don't do many days out etc, but I do a lot of crafting, gardening, baking, reading at home.

Your life made me feel a bit depressed - so boring - but people should live the life they want. It doesn’t matter what others think.

ETA: obviously living a life that doesn’t harm others 😅

My motto is, do what makes you happy as long as it's not hurting anymore else.

You're happy, and you obviously make the effort to do things you don't really enjoy for the sake of your family. So all good imo.

I'm somewhat similar and have always been that way, just learnt to embrace it more as I've got older. I do love reading though, although don't watch TV or films. I also love exploring new places and walking. Really can't be bothered with anything noisy or crowded like concerts, parties etc. would rather be at home with a coffee reading my book. Airports I can cope with as a means to an end. I'm generally pretty antisocial and just prefer my own company or that of my family

Yanbu. I find socialising and organised events tiresome.

I'm much happier pottering around at home, gardening or going for a walk and listening to music or an audio book.

Did you miss that OP does not enjoy books or music or gardening or anything?

All the replies are " I enjoy quiet pursuits like X" but OP does not enjoy anything. That is the point of the thread.

But no one is an island, and the OP is modelling what adult life is like for her children. And what they are seeing is a woman who has no interests, doesn’t want to do anything other than go to work or church or stay at home, and violently dislikes family days out which involve leaving the house and breaking her routine — children aren’t stupid. They’ll have seen that their mother ‘strongly disliked 95%’ of their recent day out. They see her staying at home, presumably staring blankly into thin air or doing housework, as she doesn’t read or have any indoor interests. Is this really a good thing to model for young children trying to figure out what life is about? There’s also not a single mention of friends, or any relationships outside her immediate family, in the OP.

for those saying the OP has no stimulation, she does go to work and church. It could be she has a very full on job, so just doesn’t have the need or energy for more stimulation outside of work, more needing to decompress. Particularly if you throw in still being in the trenches of parenting younger children.

The problem comes when children grow up and you retire. Then suddenly you’ve lost your social contact and mental stimulation via work and kids who fill your spare time aren’t doing that any more. The good thing is the OP does go to church, because they are excellent at finding things to fill your time if you offer.

Everyone's different, some people like having every day filled with activities and some people would hate that. I struggle with enjoyment being set up like Christmas or a day out in three weeks. I look forward to it but feel a bit flat like a previous poster said as it doesn't live up to the hype? I don't have any hobbies and it's not for the want of trying probably 95% of them. I just get so bored and never go back to it. I don't mind socialising every now and again but the best part is coming back home and breathing a sigh of relief 😂 my favourite thing to do is to just chill at home, usually watching the same TV series over and over again. I also hate reading and never pick up a book. I do have ADHD though so not sure if it's related 😂.

But isn’t that the majority of peoples lives? Work, family, home. You have church too - not much time for much else? All these people saying it’s dull and boring - you just don’t need the outside stimulation.

I'd have said two years ago that I'm definitely not depressed either op.

Turns out that's not true and medication has helped immensely.

It won't turn you into a party animal but having such a small life is just not right IMO. Do you just stare at the walls?

Certainly not mine, no. I’m a bit aghast that you seem to think this is at all normal.

As a foreign national having had to come here to retire and observing with fresh eyes what's on mumsnet, people feel entitled to post that many people need social services, lonely unmarried men who live happily with their ageing patents have to be ??? registered somewhere with adult social services, everyone needs to be vaccinated, shy kids have to be forcefully socialised and if not, sent to CAMHS because if you are shy you must be abused, autistic or experienced hidden trauma....these batshit bonkers country's list goes on

Yes, everybody should be vaccinated.

I doubt the poster posted very genuinely but there are many click baits posts like these, where the poster doesn't come in again and strangers are left tearing each other down....but also helps foreigners like me seeing how deeply ruined the individual and their freedoms in this country is ....an eye opening thread again and again. Keep posting folk , it's revealing

I mean anyone who defines individual freedom as not vaccinating their children is not worth listening to either.

Depends....I just got one tetanus vaccine because have taken on a very old dilapidated allotment but other than that, has been my choice....the GP is more polite that many on here

Measles is now killiing children because people have stopped vaxing. It disgusts me.

I do things. Weddings, holidays, gigs, pubs, restaurants but truth be told I’m happiest when at home

I'm not here to be listened to. Lol. I'm here to practice my English and rejoice in batshit bonkers British opinions....you can't catch this old rigged one with insinuations my dear. Two daughters with massive homes in Cranleigh ...

Rugged.

I'm curious the poster's nationality and views at large ...would be revealing as to why doing things the British way almost deafened her spirit

OP, live your life as you want of course. Just make sure you don’t limit your children’s opportunities, and do encourage them to socialise if they want to, even if it means gritting your teeth and playing along!

I can relate to an extent. I have many, many interests but, with most of them, I can enjoy them/learn about them by myself. Some of my happiest moments have been alone. It may be sad but it's the absolute truth. I have always made myself tolerate noise and crowds in the past but am now am managing it and decided not to feel guilty or weird for not wanting to be part of noisy or crowded events.

I'm happy with my own company, my thoughts, my own surroundings, my pets and my husband. I would love a really good, close female friend and it's not for the want of trying, believe me. But I won't be used as a convenience or a sounding board and would rather have no friend at all than one like that.

I probably sound bitter but I'm more at peace since realising and accepting these things than I ever was when I was forever hungry and chasing.