Anyone else not like doing anything?

[happy2bstill]

Would just like to preface this by saying I am definitely not depressed. Haven't got social anxiety. And have a very happy, stable marriage. And a little family.

Today we've been out on a family day, think trampolining, pedal boats, shopping, lunch at a restaurant, that sort of thing.
I strongly disliked 95% of it, for no reason.
Boats were the best thing. But everything else is just blah, overpriced and mind numbing.
This extends into all areas if my life, I have no hobbies, no interests, nothing that gets me excited, other than the boring, mundane of everyday life (being home, working, family life, Church etc) that's about all I enjoy. Sometimes going for a nice walk.

I can't stand any organised activities that I'm supposed to like, cannot for the life of me understand why people enjoy shopping, pubs, weddings, holidays, travel, cinema, hobbies, classes (like yoga) exercise, social events, parties, festivals, days out etc etc.
I don't even like books 😒

I'm not moaning, I'm just wondering if anyone else is like this? As I said, I am genuinely happy and enjoy my life, until we have to do something 'enjoyable'.

Maybe it's peri-menopause? I've always been this way inclined, but currently it has ramped up to a whole new level. I want to enjoy different experiences, I just don't. And have no desire to try and enjoy things.

I find it odd that you don't enjoy any of the millions of books and films in the world. Not one?

As I have got older I have occasionally started to enjoy a holiday, or a gig. It's usually when I let go of worrying how everyone else is enjoying it. I genuinely used to not get it before, and be dying to get home. But staying in and doing nothing is pretty awesome. I love work.

This. Although the OP doesn’t appear to have enjoyed her ‘little family day out’, either.

I don't think its based on insecurities, who would feel insecure about the fact they do more with life than this?

Look a quiet life is fine, its a free country and people should do whatever makes them happy.

But life is a gift. When there are people in the world living in extreme deprivation, someone who is so willfully shutting out anything fun and restricting their life in this way just makes me feel sad. Sorry if that offends you.

Yes the things are all commonly done (although pedal boats are pretty missable!) but some people do feel content living quietly.

Do you feel uncomfortable if people are a bit different to you?

You sound a lot like my mum. She could probably be diagnosed with agoraphobia, but she insists she just loves being at home and doesn't enjoy x,y or z. Her conversations are incredibly limited - the weather, that she's put the bins out, what she's having/had for dinner, that kind of thing.

As her daughter it really frustrates and upsets me just how little she is doing with her life. I suspect it makes her risk of dementia much higher too.

So people should live in a way they won't enjoy in order to honour people who will never know how they lived?

This doesn't offend me at all, because it makes no sense!

I don’t relate - I feel things very strongly, like a good book, a gig, a happy time. But I think the people saying someone else’s life being different means they are boring are being fucking rude.

There is a condition where you can’t enjoy life. I think it’s seen as a symptom of other conditions rather than a standalone. Anhedonia. I have had it as a symptom of depression. It’s maybe worth looking into what it might be a symptom of? But if it’s normal for you and you’re happy enough, then ignore.

Am I the only person who.doesn't want to spend all year round with my little family? Admittedly my DC are young adults and don't want to spend all their time with me! But I would be so bored never seeing anyone else.

I get all you say. But you don't like books...not even a Bible ?? What denomination are you ? Church is still a social space

I thought you sounded quite reasonable until you said you don't like books .

I don't like crowded things, so days out to crowded places are not enjoyable. And as I get older I enjoy pottering gently at home much more. But I do love days out to quiet places, travelling, theatre, swimming, cycling. So can't really relate. But does it matter? You are content, that's all that matters.

Lady, go on scenic drives ....this is fun.

everyone is different, but I think its strange to be so.. uninspired as you, and possibly unhealthy to have zero interests.

Your idea of things you enjoy would bore me to death quite frankly.

@verycloakanddaggers

So people should live in a way they won't enjoy in order to honour people who will never know how they lived?

No. I've said twice now people should live as they wish to. The OP is very free to live any life she chooses.

Do I think it's a high quality life or want it for myself? No.

If I'm being brutally honest I've met people like this IRL and I've always suspected its because of either a very limited or limiting upbringing or extreme social anxiety, or because they've been socialised to believe that their family should be enough for them (as a lot of women are). I don't think its natural for human beings to want to live a life almost entirely devoid of any kind of stimulation or interest and I suspect this is something the OP has been brought up to think she should feel.

But as I've said, it's her life.

What will happen when your little family gets bigger and moves away first to university and then possibly to the other end of the country/overseas? How will you fill your time then?

What will you talk about to your DH? Other than your DC, what do you talk about now?

I'm also wondering if you have anhedonia.

And if you were perfectly content, would you be posting about this state of mind on Mumsnet?

You might be digging a pearl there. My father raised me to never believe in friendships , according to him everyone out there was to scam me. Why go on holiday, just study, work and give him credit. I chose not to believe him and had friends and toured Europe.

He was religious also but in a horrible way. Something resonating here, op or not

i'd find anyone who said they don't enjoy 'books' alarming tbh.

Books/reading are the window to knowledge, to escapism, to learning. Anyone who wilfully avoids reading is, imho, concerningly insular, or wilfully seeking to be uneducated.

do you work full time? Is your job a bit full on? I know when I was working full time in a stressful job, I wanted my evenings and weekends to be about rest and catching up with housework/errends. I didn’t need lots of additional stimulation.

Hopefully you’ll find something’s you enjoy as your dcs grow up and you wind down to retirement or else it’s going to be hard. Theres always some people who have nothing but work and struggle when that ends, but then you mention the church so perhaps you can get more involved there.

At least she’s happy. I’d rather be happy and boring than somebody who gets irrationally angry at other people for just living their lives without hurting anyone.

I don’t know if it’s the same OP, but I love booking interesting things, holidays, days out etc and look forward to them but as soon as I’m actually doing them I lose interest and tbh can’t be arsed with whatever it was I looked forward to for weeks 🤣

Are you interested in your children OP? I might not want to go on a boat but I would enjoy taking my children on one, to see how THEY enjoyed it.

I could’ve written your post. I’ve just had the summer off work and I’ve happily done nothing. I’ve pottered, phone scrolled and been in my own head. Any ‘activities’ have just got in the way of that. YANBU.

@TheBerry

At least she’s happy. I’d rather be happy and boring than somebody who gets irrationally angry at other people for just living their lives without hurting anyone.

I’m not remotely angry.

Merely pointing out that the OP is contradicting herself. She says she likes ‘family life’. Family life does not involve staying indoors. Days out, such as the one the OP describes, are a normal part of family life.

I think the OP sounds practically dead, personally.