Willies on the beach

[YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy]

Today it was a group of mum friends and kids on the beach. My DS age 5 took off his shorts and underwear to put on his swim shorts and was (as usual) in no particular rush, and a mum friend said “ooh Billy put on your shorts quickly”. I didn’t think much of it.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.
I hadn’t thought anything of it but she clearly had an issue.

My DS 5 is my eldest, so this is a new territory for me, and I was wondering at what age it becomes ‘wrong’ (inappropriate?) for being nudey on the beach? I thought it was fine and innocent today and she was being a bit weird, but thinking about it I suppose there must be cut off point or we’d have all the blokes peacocking around with their peacocks out.

I’ll do a poll but I’m more curious than opinionated about the matter.

YABU - a ten year old should not have his bits out and should change quickly
YANBU - it’s all fine, he’s a kid and didn’t have it out all day

I don’t consider that the ten year old was showing his genitals. He was taking off swim shorts, drying off and putting on pants but was heavily invested in his conversation so not being particularly fast.
No special needs no.

In Spain last year there were plenty of naked bodies on the beach, it wasn’t even a nudist beach. We’re such prudes in this country.

This reminds me of a time a few years ago. We holiday at PIL in another country. It's a bungalow. Our DS was about 2-3 and would run around naked after a bath with all and sundry there. This felt ok.and everyone would laugh. DN who has additional needs would do similar but he was 6 and it definitely felt a bit more 'off'.
Now mine are older and the eldest has always been very coy but my 6 year old will run from the shower to his room naked. Would never do this in front of guests and they both have changing robes for the beach.

I would say that the cut off is about the same as single sex changing rooms, so about 8.
The reasoning behind this is that some girls start puberty as early as 8 and would be horrified to be standing next to a naked boy of the same age. Most children from 8 onwards would want to cover up.
OP at 5, your son is perfectly fine but they do grow up very quickly.

My kids became conscious of nudity and wanted privacy long before 10, probably about 5 or 6.

I was abused as a child, so might of been a bit uptight and over protective myself, but I would not have let my children be openly naked in a public place at any age.

In our garden in the paddling pool, no problem, but on a public beach? no I would have changed them discreetly under a towel.

I have a 5 year old and I think it’s time to start priming him about future privacy. At the beach we hurry him up a bit changing or hold an ineffective towel and talk about how grown men make sure that when they change other people don’t see those parts because they are private.

He now sometimes asks me to turn away if he’s using a shared cubicle toilet and does the same for me. He also still changes anywhere in the house and runs around naked.

You can choose when to start introducing these ideas, but just don’t leave it too late.

By 10 most get self conscious and choose to change more carefully.

Bear in mind some 10 year olds are headed rapidly for puberty. It's not a little child any more.

If your in Spain? 135.

5 is OK, but not 10.

I suppose about 7 years is where I'd draw the line and I can't properly explain why.

Ah, cultural defaultism and elitism.

You do know clothes aren't grown by humans naturally right? Those hung up about nudity, especially kids only, is a lot more weird than being intrigued about the subjective opinion and random cultural differences people show in everyday life towards the topic.

I think thy start to become quite conscious of themselves before 10 no? Mine is very particular about having privacy when getting changed. But he had no qualms at 5.

Little kids on Spanish beaches always seem so carefree

@YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy Whether this is acceptable or unacceptable depends solely on the environment and the sex of the people the boys are with. Boys changing in front of other boys and being naked is OK, and that's OK into adulthood. Boys changing in front of girls is an issue as girls may be upset.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.

So again, who are the other kids? If it was other boys then it's OK, whereas if there were girls then I would say that's not OK.

Obviously it's fine for boys and men to change in front of each other. Dozens of boys are naked in front of each other whenever they use the showers in schools after PE. Men in leisure centre changing rooms seem to spend a lot of time walking around naked.

Our two were same as @Caterina99 DS. We were pretty relaxed about nudity (in the home only!) but they lead the way as they got older becoming shy changers and certainly not wanting to see their parents bits. Around 6ish I guess?

Germany too!

I buy long towel poncho type things for the beach so my son can take his shorts off underneath and pull his pants on with some cover.
At 10 children should know that not everybody is allowed to see them naked! For safeguarding reasons

I personally wouldn’t care about seeing a 10 or 5 year old getting Changed on the beach but I wouldn’t let a child be naked on the beach. There are weirdos about and everyone has a camera phone, I always held a towel around mine when they got changed for privacy.

Gosh, you're so right. How elitist of me to find it unsettling that someone posts so many questions about little boys and their "willies" and scenarios wherein they may expose their "willies" in front of adults, related or unrelated.

My siblings and I were born in Germany so although we came to England when I was just a baby I grew up with the picture books they had been bought when over there. I remember being surprised at all the willies! Illustrations of boys peeing etc. We'd never EVER have had those in England!

💯

I’d agree with other posts, 5 year old isn’t really an issue but by ten should be more aware

I dont think it's weird, if the kid is comfortable. He was just changing, and like many kids his age, got a bit distracted.
If anything, doing a weird towel holding shuffle is more awkward and more likely to draw attention than just a quick change. I think its quite sad that we are teaching children to hide their bodies from such an early age.
He will become conscious of his body soon enough, dont take the bits of childhood from them if you dont have to.

And i don't think it's weird to be interested in what is considered normal in other houses. We ask questions about every other aspect of our lives, why not this?

Oh dear you are not an anthropologist, per chance? The most vexing module I've ever had to take at post graduate level and the most idiotic self satisfied lecturers too.

Age 5 - completely fine - I think it starts to become a bit trickier between 8 and 10 years old if you are in public (I know they are still very pre puberty but even so). At home I think the cut off age is later still. They way i benchmark it is that a lot of public swimming pools have 8 as the cut off where boys have to go change by themselves in the men's changing room and can't just change with their mum in the ladies for example.

Both is fine.
Im English. Live in the UK....10 minutes from the beach.