Willies on the beach

[YoureNotTheOnlyCuddlyToy]

Today it was a group of mum friends and kids on the beach. My DS age 5 took off his shorts and underwear to put on his swim shorts and was (as usual) in no particular rush, and a mum friend said “ooh Billy put on your shorts quickly”. I didn’t think much of it.

Later, at home time, her own son who is 10 was changing and got distracted so was talking to the other kids whilst naked. She said rather sternly something along the lines of “Tommy no, you’re a big boy, you can’t be doing that, you need to get your pants on”.
I hadn’t thought anything of it but she clearly had an issue.

My DS 5 is my eldest, so this is a new territory for me, and I was wondering at what age it becomes ‘wrong’ (inappropriate?) for being nudey on the beach? I thought it was fine and innocent today and she was being a bit weird, but thinking about it I suppose there must be cut off point or we’d have all the blokes peacocking around with their peacocks out.

I’ll do a poll but I’m more curious than opinionated about the matter.

YABU - a ten year old should not have his bits out and should change quickly
YANBU - it’s all fine, he’s a kid and didn’t have it out all day

I'd say I'm fairly easy going. My 6 year old is autistic and likes to be naked and free but this is at home only and when we know we aren't expecting anyone. If we are expecting someone who we have an arrangement with that they let themselves in, he has to at least have pants on.

I would do a quick change discretely on a beach (although tbh we use towel robes because they are 194629 times easier) but running around naked on a beach playing instead of wearing shorts? Absolutely not.

Why on earth would this need to happen?

What a weird question. It's odd to be "fascinated" while asking questions about children's genitals.

I think it’s fine at any age while changing…. They will stop it when they feel the need for privacy.

My 9 year old definitely wouldn't feel comfortable showing his privates to any member of extended family. It is something they usually grow out of on their own

Wow I see some of the posters I was warned about have turned up.

im just a mum wondering about an aspect of parents I hadn’t thought about before.

We have a lot of family visitors and it has happened that my son has been without pants in front of them briefly, perhaps when getting changed after a spill, or after using a paddling pool.

Thanks to those who haven’t called me weird and have shared their thoughts, it has been helpful to hear opinions!

My DS is 10. When he was smaller he was not bothered in the slightest about being naked. Now he is very self conscious and there is no way he’d linger at getting changed on a beach. Or be happy about being seen naked on the way a shower.

I’m not sure exactly when the change happened, think it’s been a gradual process from about age 6/7.

Yeah its creepy af.

I'd go with the age at which most changing rooms ban opposite sex children, so 7 and under is probably fine.

If theyre changing then it doesnt matter as its btief. They should never be running around naked.

Should a ten year old girl be walking around with no pants on in public?

Brits are so weird about nudity. Go to many European countries and it’s not uncommon to see naked adults at swimming lakes, in saunas, changing on the beach etc.

Exactly. Vulvas on the beach. Any better?

For me school age is the cut-off for nudity because that is when they need to start changing themselves for PE in front of the rest of the class and going into their own toilets at school etc, so they need a bit of modesty for the sake of the teacher and their opposite-sex classmates and will be learning the PANTS rule etc.

Having said that, I'd change a pre-schooler quickly in a towel by a splashpad etc, but I wouldn't have let them run round without pants on in public at any age but am aware that some people do.

10 is definitely way too old for nudity outside the bathroom/changing area (even if they don't wear much round the house, pants are needed for modesty and hygiene!) - 10yr olds are on the cusp of puberty, starting to think in general terms about boyfriends and girlfriends, learning innuendo etc.

don't go to the USA!

10 - no too old.
5 - ok but I’d still not be comfortable with it in a public place where people can perv or take pictures.

OK, so 10 is probably a transition age...but I would have been furious had she taken it upon herself to tell MY5 yo child to put his shorts on.

She sounds like an obsessed weirdo.

Why would anyone need to walk through a room that other people are presumably sitting in to go for a shower? Yes, you might undress a toddler downstairs, but older children just get undressed upstairs surely, so can't see why a 10 year old would be wandering around naked.

I bet that’s not exactly how it was!

In many European countries simply getting changed on the beach without huddling awkwardly under a towel is totally normal at any age. DH is Scandinavian and would just take his shorts off and put his swimmers on in the open if not for living in Britain where others would be offended.

In fact a few years ago someone reported a flasher on the beach by us. Further investigation revealed an innocent German tourist just getting ready for a swim.

It's fine

Both fine. They weren't waving them about. The other mum sounds a bit uptight.

Beaches attract paedophiles so personally I wouldnt let my child get changed without a towel wrapped round their waist.

The 10 year old is at secondary school next year. Would you have walked around showing your genitals at that age? Very unusual for a ten year old to show his willy unless he has special needs.

Your 5 year old is fine but in the next couple of years or so, he’ll probably start changing in another room to you because he’ll want privacy.

I'd say until the child themselves feels comfortable. Agree with pps that i have family in several european countires and there are kids swimming, changing etc on the beach well until 6/7, as well as families using saunas etc together and it's perfectly normal