Pissed off over photos

[ChubbyBoobs456]

DD's first birthday today. No one could be bothered to take a good photo of me. I have a handful of photos, either me talking, or in just a terrible pose, DD crying, DD not looking at camera. Not for lack of effort from my side, I tried but no one had the patience to take a good one. Fuck sake. I made an effort with everyone. Everyone has at least one excellent shot. Not me. It's ruined my night. I'm not normally this self centred but I literally gave birth to this human a year ago. I don't know why it's made me feel so ugly and unappreciated.

I am now refusing to send out photos. And I have deleted the best ones (not best ones of DD, but some excellent ones of other people). If they want photos, they can take it themselves.

You can’t blame the people taking a photo if your child was fidgeting, crying, not looking. That’s life.

The important thing is that your child enjoyed their party. Not that you kept them posing like they were on a photoshoot the whole time so you could get the perfect shot.

I’m totally with you on this and felt the same on my kids 1st bdays. I got dressed up and felt so proud. My husband never takes my pic, ever. My dad does which is cute but I get the importance of what you wanted. 1st bday (and every bday actually) is a celebration of what you did/do too I think. Be more vocal next time, you deserve it

I don’t think OP has asked to look poised and filtered. Just both she and baby looking the same way. And she’s hosted her baby’s birthday, carefully checked she has photos of everyone that will be frame-able, and the people who’ve done shots of her haven’t bothered.

You are being disingenuous if you think every shot is equal- it takes effort and several attempts to get a good picture.

Have you never been disappointed when a stranger offers to take a group shot and when you see it it’s useless?

@ChubbyBoobs456 don’t give up. Give it some time and work out who in your group has a decent eye and ask them to make a point of it for you. You’re right, they will be lovely memories in future. Gifts to display and so on.

Also, some of the ones of you- you may be able to use AI to fix the issues with them. Certainly AI can remove the ‘arm growing out of your head’ situation very easily. It won’t fix your family having been thoughtless though.

We took lots of great photos at my DDs first party. However, the one that made it into the album is of me eating cake and DD screaming next to me. It was taken the exact moment she started crying and i was shoving food in my face. Looks like shes crying because im eating her cake 🙈
DD is 9 now and we still laugh about it every time she goes through the album.

What im trying to say is, sometimes the nice photos arent the best ones.
Try to take a nice one on a day where theres less going on and your child is less riled up. It will be so mich easier.

Your DD should have been having fun playing, not being made to take photos. This is what social media has done to people. Having the best photo at an event is more important than the actual event. It's really sad.

Quite right too!
OP wasn't looking for perfection. Just for the person taking the photo to wait til the baby was settled, everyone was looking at the camera and didn't have their eyes closed etc. If that makes her spoilt then it would make the others spoilt too when they complain they don't have any decent photos with their grandchild.

If they want flattering pics where they don't have a mouthful of food, eyes that are open and looking at the camera then they can hire a professional photographer like a charming previous poster said. What's good for the goose is good for the gander!

This is so true. I wish I had more of my late mum and Dad.
I used to avoid cameras at all costs until my fil said this to me. So glad I listened.

Had four kids and not once did I take the hump about others and photos! I took my own if and when I wanted.
Am sorry to say this but you sound so unbelievably immature and extremely spiteful.

all those who think that the baby should have been made to sit and pose for photos to keep mum happy are you forgetting what a one year old is like? They aren’t dolls designed to sit and pose!

You expect to have them climbing over you on a picture or snatching your glasses off your face. It’s not fair on the child to ask them to sit still just for picture.

If youre this upset about photos, its not the photos.

Next time ask one relative, and get them to take a few.

In the meantime why not treat yourself to a professional one. You can even get some in the home if that will work

Do you have a partner? Because I’d say it’s only their responsibility really. It’s your choice to take photos of the guests but not really their responsibility as a guest. Although if a friend asked me I would make sure they saw it and liked it!! Didn’t you check it at the time and ask them to do it again?

Arh, another Mumzilla that can't just enjoy an occasion with their child and isn't happy unless it's insta worthy.

Hire a professional photographer next time, that's why they exist. Or better still, get a grip!

Not forgetting, it's supposed to be their event for their birthday, not the mother's Hello spread. 🤣

This is why I learnt to take selfies - and do all the time, of me and my kids and of just me! Wherever we go!! Then I always have pics of me and them, that are nice (and Im in control of!!!). Before I started doing this I literally had about two pics of me and the kids, now I have hundreds!!!! Tomorrow, go to the garden or the park with your hair how you like it and your dd dressed in what you want and get selfie-ing!!! Xx

Total drama lama. Enjoy the experience and not the fucking photos.

I hear you OP and I think it’s reasonable that you felt upset, although hopefully you feel a bit better today.

Motherhood is generally a thankless task where you are expected to put in all the effort all the time and then just be grateful for the chocolate you receive on Mothers Day.

It is shit that no one made the effort to get a nice photo of you with your child, especially when it clearly matters to you as you took pictures of them.

Now that you are aware this is going to happen, don’t wait for people to consider it anymore. Thrust your phone into their hands and tell/ask them to take a picture of you and dd. They won’t say no.

OP you sound exhausted and fed up. YANBU at all when you’ve put all this effort in and nobody even took a decent photo of you and DD. I’m guessing your feelings last night may be about a wider lack of appreciation, hope you had a good sleep and are feeling happier this morning. Even though it’s not quite the same, make sure somebody gets a good photo of you together today or tomorrow as in a few years the exact day won’t seem so important.

Instagram has a lot to answer for!

Christ, you sound hard work. What a drama over nothing.

Wtf? Is this for real?

I get it OP. I hope you find someone in real life who cares enough to listen to you 💐

But that doesn’t add up as there were lots of photos taken of said baby that were deemed good/lovely and album worthy. Surely people were holding the baby in those photos as well.

As @DarklingIlistensaid upthread. OP wants curated / insta ready pics that just need a bit of editing.

Some people look crap in photos. It happens. Nobody is against anyone and withholding photos of others with the baby or deleting them is actually ridiculous and childish.

@ChubbyBoobs456- if it really means that much to you why not put the party clothes back on and ask your partner to try and take a decent photo when nobody else is around. Baby might be more settled.

I'll start this by saying I have a life limiting condition, which I think gives me a different perspective on a lot of things. You've deleted precious photos of people you love with your DD? You did this because you were angry they didn't get a good photo (in your opinion) of what was your DD's birthday. Get a fucking grip.

Lol glad it's not just me

OP - I totally get this and you are NOT being unreasonable. When my children were young I took so many photos, gorgeus ones of my family and friends and it's like a literal archive of their formative years. I feature in about 3 of these photos (I am quite old so before selfies were a thing) because my DH never bothered taking any with me in it and the ones he did bother to take are horrible of me. I have none of me pregnant with my son and it pisses me off so much (he's 20 and I probably should get over it ;)