Wedding with a dress code

[Helpmeup]

A few months ago we received an invitation to my husbands friends wedding. Along with the invitation was a dress code which said “dress to impress and please wear pastel colours only” I don’t have any pastel coloured dresses but I thought well it’s a few months away so I have time to find something.

However, husband checked with her and the men also have to wear pastel. Now that the wedding is 2 weeks away I actually feel a bit annoyed that we are having to buy something brand new to go to a wedding when we both have perfectly fine dresses and suits to wear already. DH probably isn’t ever going to wear pastel clothing again so it seems like a waste of money. We asked if he could maybe just wear a pastel tie instead but she insists everyone has to be in theme with the pastels.

The venue is over an hour away and the taxi is costing us £40 each way. We will be spending money there on drinks etc so I just feel like it’s going to cost us so much money to attend someone’s wedding 😩 I told myself I would put some money aside to be able to afford the new clothes but it hasn’t worked out as we have had too many other things to pay for lately so this just seems like an unnecessary purchase when we already have perfectly reasonable clothes to wear to the wedding! Is this a thing now? AIBU to feel this way?

Does he not have a pink or pale blue shirt? Would you not wear something light coloured to a wedding anyway? Just turn up in what you have and have a nice time. I wouldn't have bothered clarifying the dress code at all.

I love the onesie idea.
I wonder if the groom to be is happy with the dress code.
FWIW - 25 years ago, pre-social media - we had no dress code. I didn’t wear white. The groom and best man chose to wear ties the colour of my dress.

We got married in the Peak District and one of my most longstanding friends walked there over the hills, in his habitual walking gear. I’ve not seen him in anything else before or since. Another - very skint early career academic - just came in chinos and a jumper. I was delighted to see them both and loved the opportunity to spend a bit of time with them . My sister, who wore a long white dress, then had a massive row with her husband in the middle of the reception - not so much!

DBro wore a Simpson’s tie.
Long live the days before social media!

Long live the days before social media!

Hear hear.

In my case, wearing pastel colours would make it look like I hadn't made an effort. In DH's case he would just wear what he had. He has no truck with ridiculous dress demands for events.

Wear Black!

I would just wear a cheap pastel scarf (tie for DP) or something and just pretend we'd misunderstood the request. I guarantee that there will be people there, probably mostly men, who will not be dressed head to foot in pastel.

I went to a birthday party recently where we were requested to wear a particular colour. I went to Primark and bought a £3 t-shirt to wear with my normal jeans. Some people literally just wore earrings or painted their nails that colour. I was glad I hadn't invested in a new outfit.

Your. DH could wear a white/cream DJ (though he could be mistaken for a sommelier and have people asking him about wine all day). However this wedding sounds more hasssle than it’s worth…..l

Thanks for the comments everyone. Just to clarify, in my post I never said I wasn’t going to go. I’ve read the first few pages so far and people are saying I’ve left it too late and have had plenty of notice etc. I am going to the wedding…. And I will find some cheap pastel clothing to wear. I’m just asking what later people’s opinions are on this and if I am unreasonable to find it daft and annoying. Even if we just buy a shirt and a cheap dress, it is still a waste of money because neither of us will wear them again. Why do I have to spend my money on clothes that I will never wear again when we already have perfectly nice and appropriate wedding attire already. The clothes will be going straight to the charity shop once we have worn them. Yes I should’ve declined the invite when it came out but we had a bit more money then and I just thought ‘ah well, we can find something cheap’ but now we are really skint as we have had some big unexpected things to pay for and I feel a bit miffed at having to spend money unnecessarily

Thanks for the suggestions about light coloured linen for DH.. that’s a good shout because he would probably wear that again

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I despair of couples who feel the need to dictate what their guests wear.

You really don't have to.

Pastels in September how embarrassing

Have you considered going to a charity shop and see if you can get something suitable for both of you. If this happened to me I reckon I would say Sorry I won't be there. I think the bride has a cheek telling guests to wear certain colours. It will be so she can put pictures on social media. Stupid I think. SM is also stupid.

Why do I have to spend my money on clothes that I will never wear again when we already have perfectly nice and appropriate wedding attire already
You don't have to. It is your choice to pander to this nonsense or not.

Its all a bit churlish, i presume you won't have to pay for food and drink and dancing and having a good time

I guarantee Uncle Colin won't be wearing pastels.

This!

Perhaps Uncle Colin wasn't deemed Instagrammable enough to make the guest list.

A full on pastel outfit for everyone including the men? That’s fucking ridiculous! However, charity shops could well be your friend OP. I’ve recently been to a wedding where the theme was charity shop outfits and you can get some amazing stuff. Particularly if you visit shops in a fairly affluent town. For your DH I’d just get a pastel shirt though and maybe a tie. She can’t expect pastel suits surely!

Aunty Sue will be gutted. She's got loads of pastels.

That’s batshit and I bet that not everyone will participate. All the men aren’t going to buy pastel suits that they’ll never wear again. I’d just get a pastel shirt and a dress for yourself but would find it really annoying receiving an invite with a dress code. Does the bride and groom not consider how much it costs to attend a wedding? Certainly not cheap without being told to buy a new outfit in a colour you’re unlikely to wear again.

But why should the OP spend her free time trawling around charity shops or on Vinted in the vain hope that they'll have something that fits, meets the brief and they actually want to wear?

Yes but she is too fat.

Bride and groom are total fucking idiots. No one in their right mind dictates what colour clothes their guests can wear. Who do they think they are?

Lots of us - myself included - look shit in pastels anyway.

I wouldn't be going.

They could have put her on the edge of the group photo; maybe just peeking in. Having half your body chopped off is very slimming.