Wedding with a dress code

[Helpmeup]

A few months ago we received an invitation to my husbands friends wedding. Along with the invitation was a dress code which said “dress to impress and please wear pastel colours only” I don’t have any pastel coloured dresses but I thought well it’s a few months away so I have time to find something.

However, husband checked with her and the men also have to wear pastel. Now that the wedding is 2 weeks away I actually feel a bit annoyed that we are having to buy something brand new to go to a wedding when we both have perfectly fine dresses and suits to wear already. DH probably isn’t ever going to wear pastel clothing again so it seems like a waste of money. We asked if he could maybe just wear a pastel tie instead but she insists everyone has to be in theme with the pastels.

The venue is over an hour away and the taxi is costing us £40 each way. We will be spending money there on drinks etc so I just feel like it’s going to cost us so much money to attend someone’s wedding 😩 I told myself I would put some money aside to be able to afford the new clothes but it hasn’t worked out as we have had too many other things to pay for lately so this just seems like an unnecessary purchase when we already have perfectly reasonable clothes to wear to the wedding! Is this a thing now? AIBU to feel this way?

Disagree. Op won’t be the only guest who thinks the dress code request is ridiculous. It will be the bride that has the piss taken out if her, not the guests who dress normally.

What a load of bollocks.

It’s the bride causing drama at her own wedding, not the guests.

Lol i’m not the one who wrote 2 essays about offending the bride.

It's a fun challenge wear a peach something or other and you might even enjoy it. Then you escape. No harm done.

Your husband goes back to his friend and says, "We don't have any pastel clothes unfortunately. Do you want us to come wearing what we have or not come?"

The bride can insist all she likes, but if she's not paying for their outfits she doesn't get to dictate what they wear.

As a courtesy I'd let her choose whether she'd rather they came wearing non pastel clothes or whether she'd prefer them not to come at all.

My prediction is that they'll get more than a few last minute drop outs and of those who do come there will still be people not wearing pastel clothes, so they'll have pissed their friends and family off for no reason at all.

Your husband could just wear his palest suit with a mauve or pink shirt and light tie.
You could visit Op shops and vinted sites and also send SOS to friends who are about your size.

You could also just buy a large pastel shawl and wear it with whatever looks good with it in your wardrobe (except black and white).

They can try and dictate these things but they can't actually force anyone to comply.

It's time people stopped pandering to this sort of nonsense.

Declining an invitation two weeks before a wedding, having previously accepted it, is not consequence free either though.

The couple will be pissed off either way so I'd talk to them first and ask them what kind of pissed off they'd prefer to be.

The bride is a bridezilla on glue.
If she wants everyone to dress in pastels then she can pay for it!
However if you do have smart things in pastel colours then wear them even if it's just a tie or shirt/top.

If the bride & groom complain then they have no class.

On the other hand rescind your invite & tell the bride & groom why.

What is about weddings that turn the bride & groom into fuckwits?

I would have wished I hadn’t asked and husband would have gone in a regular suit with a pastel tie! I wouldn’t even buy him pastel chinos, shirt and tie - still costs far too much just to be a guest at a wedding! Ridiculous. Are photos really more important than the family and friends who choose whether to attend?!

You will come across as being the ones very much in the wrong if you try to ignore the clear instructions they gave you.

No normal person gives "Clear Instructions" about what to wear at a wedding.

For me "dress to impress" and pastel colours don't belong in the same sentence. They just make me look washed out and like I haven't made an effort.

I think I'd be inclined to tell the bridezilla that I can't afford a new outfit and would offer to decline the invitation if it was going to spoil the bridezilla's aesthetic. I'd be happy to not be in the photos anyway.

It's really not normal.

Anyway, it's her husband's friend who is getting married, so she can delegate that conversation to him.