Wedding with a dress code

[Helpmeup]

A few months ago we received an invitation to my husbands friends wedding. Along with the invitation was a dress code which said “dress to impress and please wear pastel colours only” I don’t have any pastel coloured dresses but I thought well it’s a few months away so I have time to find something.

However, husband checked with her and the men also have to wear pastel. Now that the wedding is 2 weeks away I actually feel a bit annoyed that we are having to buy something brand new to go to a wedding when we both have perfectly fine dresses and suits to wear already. DH probably isn’t ever going to wear pastel clothing again so it seems like a waste of money. We asked if he could maybe just wear a pastel tie instead but she insists everyone has to be in theme with the pastels.

The venue is over an hour away and the taxi is costing us £40 each way. We will be spending money there on drinks etc so I just feel like it’s going to cost us so much money to attend someone’s wedding 😩 I told myself I would put some money aside to be able to afford the new clothes but it hasn’t worked out as we have had too many other things to pay for lately so this just seems like an unnecessary purchase when we already have perfectly reasonable clothes to wear to the wedding! Is this a thing now? AIBU to feel this way?

If you can't get out of it then I'd either ignore the "request" or head to the local charity shop. No idea why someone would seriously think that is an ok ask of your guests.

The mistake you made is querying it. They can request a dress code but can’t enforce it. You’d be fine in a pastel dress and DH in a pastel tie and maybe tucks pastel hanky in his breast pocket .

Just wear the lightest coloured clothing you own (cream, light grey, stone, etc.) or don't go. Agree that it sounds like instagram is higher on the agenda than the guests themselves.

I would go in your already wedding ready gear, enjoy the day, if they don't like it then they are not your husbands friends. P.s £40 for an hour each way taxi is AMAZING!....We paid 28 quid for 15 min each way a few years ago! Just be you!

My husband would be fine buying a new shirt, but would draw the line at having to fork out for a new suit.

I’d suggest TKMaxx - it’s especially good for blokes and you might find something in there for you too.

Rude and utterly cringey. I'd check with them if they actually meant it as a suggestion or a requirement. If the former I'd ignore, if the latter I'd decline altogether and be honest about why if asked.

I’d either buy something secondhand (if you really want to go) or just not go.

Why can’t he just wear chinos and a pastel shirt? You shouldn’t have checked in such detail. Plausible deniability.

I wouldn’t bother going. It sounds awful. Find something better to do with your time and money.

Just say you were ill or something.

Given the price of a decent men's dress suit, I'd be amazed if most men don't just go with the pastel shirt / tie approach. I might or might not buy a new dress when we are attending a wedding, but my DH certainly wouldn't spend £££ buying a brand new suit in a colour he's unlikely to wear again.

“DH in a pastel suit is a look that will not impress anyone. We had to choose, and went for impressive.”

Then put your DH in a regular suit with a snazzy tie.

Good call! They've got quite a few pale=coloured suits under £100, including actual pastels!

Would your DH be likely to re-wear a cream or silver grey suit, OP? Could be a way to make everyone happy, with a pastel shirt or tie for the occasion.

https://www.tkmaxx.com/uk/en/men/clothing/suits+tailoring/c/02021500?st=&sort=&facets=is_flash_event:%22false%22:Style:%223%20Piece%20Suits%22:Style:%222%20Piece%20Suits%22&page=0

Can you rent a pastel suit?

Pastel tie will cost £3 from Asda
Pastel shirt will he cheap from there too

You've had plenty of notice

Or ... "dress to impress" in your choice of suit & dress, with matching cheapo fedora hats and scarves in pastel colours.

Pale blue shirt for him under his suit?

I seem to be getting a FB group in my feeds all about "is this suitable" for various wedding dress codes and a lot of them are much more than just "formal" or "black tie", being really quite prescriptive about colours and styles. What is the matter with these people?!

My friend is just back from a very swanky wedding (or at least no expense spared) where they were even told what colour they needed to wear for dinner the night before the wedding. White, men and women 🫤

I guess it depends how much you love the people involved, but it doesn't sound like the kind of fun event where guests' enjoyment will be considered.

Just say you thought it was pastille colours, dress up as a fruit pastille.

I dare you!

Just buy a cheap dress, go and have fun, life is for living

I’d rent something, or just not go. What’s with the bridezilla demands these days - is she having guests or Insta-props..

@Cismyfatarseor this?

Chinos and a pale pink shirt, summer dress for you (end of season sales)

Sod that. I'd politely decline the invitation and not feel a moment's guilt about it.

I look terrible and washed out in pastels because of my skin tone and hair colour so I would be pushing pastel to the very limit and would buy something on Vinted and resell. For DH I would also do the same, either Vinted or borrow something from a friend.

This sort of thing is ridiculous and your friend will hopefully look back in years to come and realise how ridiculous it is.

Tell DH to tell his friend you're unable to come as you've (both of you) not been able to find anything suitable to wear within your budget