To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

[Lissm]

I know I will get flamed for this...
My parents are in their early 70s. My father worked in a factory in a low skilled job and was made redundant when he was 56, and retired on a full pension. My mother worked on and off as a cashier and stopped working at 57.

They have a house which must be worth close to £800k, purchased for £40k, and £200k+ in savings and investments. They are able to save at least £1k each month.

We have worked just as hard as they have but we will never have their sort of financial security. We have 6 months of savings and that's it.

I feel so angry that this has happened - not at them but at the situation.

I thought every subsequent generation would at least enjoy the same standard of living. I dread to think what is going to happen to my children.

Excellent suggestion. In just 150 years you'll be able to buy a whole studio flat in Croydon!

Only at today's prices though. Won't work if property keeps going up

Oh bore off.

I live twenty miles from my work. To get there by public transport I would need to walk a mile to a bus stop. Catch a bus to a different town, change buses at the bus stop, catch a bus to a village, then walk a mile along a busy A road with no pavements. And I'd be late every day because the buses don't even run early enough to make this possible.

My husband travels all over the country for his job.

It's comments like yours that prove my original point though, so thanks for that. You are utterly clueless.

Yes so multiply that by 24 to get your deposit (which even then probably might not be ebough)...24 years. So for me I'd be 58. Yes, it's definitely the coffee that's the problem🤣

And when my mum started her hairdressing apprenticeship that’s exactly what she did. Walked to the other end of the village to the bus stop, two buses, a ferry ride and another bus at the other end. I worked with a girl in the early 1980s who did a similar thing in reverse. Every day. Six days a week. Bore off seems to be the standard phrase on MN when you don’t want to hear a truth that doesn’t fit your narrative. How is it clueless when you’ve actually lived it ?

Tell me you know nothing about the role of NHS community workers without telling me🤣. The equipment I carry fills a whole car boot never mind one case. Jesus christ.

I think the poster has a point. It’s not just the coffees. When we first bought in the late 1970’s we had saved for the deposit for just under five years. Lived with parents to keep costs down, worked every bit of available overtime. I worked evenings in the local pub and my DH picked up mini shifts at a local factory a few evenings a week. Every other night was spent in - helping around the house, watching telly, playing board games. If the weather was good, going for a walk, walking the dog etc. We literally saved every penny we could. I’m afraid that from what I’ve seen with friends and family the idea of ‘saving for a deposit’ is very different these days. People seem to think that a night out every week won’t do any harm but the fact is that it costs a fortune when you add in the obligatory cocktails and taxi rides to and from which seem to be essential these days. People seem to forget that everything is relative to the time in which you live.

Of course its relative but not everybody is out on the piss every weekend and fortunate enough to live with their parents to save. That in itself is lucky! If I saved for 20 years I'd still not have enough. This is the point people are trying to make. I don't doubt people have worked hard but you can't deny we have to work even harder to have a fraction of the things boomers benefitted from.
I too work a second job alongside full-time in the NHS. I don't go out drinking. I don't smoke. I pay £1500 to a landlord without bills. Life is expensive for basics.

It will never happen, you'll be mugged for theh coffee money in Croydon.

This is the problem...the basics are just so expensive now that reducing luxuries barely makes a dent.

The baby boom generation just got really, really lucky. Unless something huge happens - like a world war - that creates a massive reset of society, it's unlikely the (comparatively) easy access to jobs, houses and wealth creation they enjoyed will ever happen again.

I feel similar irritation with my own parents. They think the million pound house, the generous pension, the lack of debt etc is down to 'working hard'. I work hard, full time in a professional role, have qualifications coming out of my ears, and still can't afford anywhere near the lavish lifestyle and holidays they enjoyed. And I've got debt and several pensions that won't do much more than keep the wolf from the door. It is what it is, though.

Most millenials and Gen Z don't drink that much. Pubs are half-empty these days, that's why they're closing at a huge rate of knots.

If you're on a low to average wage and trying to save for a deposit that's upwards of £60K, and you can't live at home with your parents to save money (I couldn't - lots of parents can't afford their offspring at home rent-free indefinitely either) then no matter how much you stay in eating beans on toast, that deposit just ain't gonna happen.

People had to live closer to were they worked though, and they could mostly .I think commuting came in the laye 60's 70, before that you lived right next to where you worked.
My parents also walked everywhere.
Cheap fuel up to early 1970's then it all changed again.

Why are people saying they need £50/£60K for a deposit. Both my DDs have bought with a much smaller deposit recently, one in the SE.

I do think it's harder though generally these days.

That is what they have told us and I don't see why they'd lie 🤔

You've clearly never met my mother.

Nor mine 😂

I feel so sorry for people trying to get on the housing ladder nowadays. DH and I only bought our first place 7 years ago with a tiny deposit but I think if we’d have waited any longer we’d still be renting as the prices have shot up. I look at our kids and wonder how they’ll ever manage it. I think we’ll have to help them but we’ve got three and, even with our income, I’m not sure that we could give enough to each of them to help significantly 🤷‍♀️ They’ll just have to wait until we pop our clogs.

Reread what I have written - I don't resent , hate or want my parents dead. I hate the fact their generation has it so much easier, and the fact Inhave it so much easier than my children.

And yes, I get annoyed with my mum commenting on how hard she's worked when make others have worked harder but havent reaped half the rewards she had. Ditto, I got annoyed listening to her lecture me about the winter fuel allowance and how she had paid taxes all her life.

Someone has probably already said this in the thread but houses used to cost 2-3 times annual earnings 50 years ago, now they are 7-9 times.

My parents bought a house in the 70s for basically nothing, then sized up in 1995 to a 4 bed that cost 65k & that house is now worth about 600k. In the South East.

They earned 25-30k between them. We earn 3x that and are the same age as they were in 1995. No way we could afford the deposit necessary for the 600k house. We would probably need 250k cash to make the mortgage affordable.

I know houses are, in lots of places, ridiculously expensive but what makes it even harder for a lot of people to save a deposit is that they rent while trying to save and rents are expensive in a lot of areas.

Of course not everyone can live with their parents while saving a deposit but lots more could than do.

But most importantly, OP, please don’t waste any energy on resentment. It does no good to anyone, and harms you

Like worrying, we know this but how to stop it?

You'll never buy a house with that attitude. If you knuckle down and tighten your belt then asset price inflation won't happen. Or something.

I dont think its unreasonable to feel some resentment towards the boomer generation, even your own parents.
Aot of us are struggling and I know I get annoyed when my parents talk about a couple of grand as 'pocket money' or blithely redecorate without a worry (I have zero savings and cant even afford basic home repairs, decorating is for the well off!LOL).
But I appreciate that that resentment is unjust and keep it to myself! I dont blame them for reaping the benefits of how things were.
It just sucks that each generation since then seems to get it progressively worse.

I don't understand how either. I get house prices have shot up but the rest can't be done on low skill jobs that you say your parents had