To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

[Lissm]

I know I will get flamed for this...
My parents are in their early 70s. My father worked in a factory in a low skilled job and was made redundant when he was 56, and retired on a full pension. My mother worked on and off as a cashier and stopped working at 57.

They have a house which must be worth close to £800k, purchased for £40k, and £200k+ in savings and investments. They are able to save at least £1k each month.

We have worked just as hard as they have but we will never have their sort of financial security. We have 6 months of savings and that's it.

I feel so angry that this has happened - not at them but at the situation.

I thought every subsequent generation would at least enjoy the same standard of living. I dread to think what is going to happen to my children.

The difference now is that the wage of a low skilled job doesn't go as far as it used to.

Previously those on low skilled wages accepted their lot and cut their cloth accordingly. Now the low skilled worker 'expects' the perks of the high skilled worker.

Wages are lower but expectations are higher.

Expectations of what? Being able to afford a home?

Also buses were very much more frequent and covered more areas when I was a teen/young adult in the late 60s and 70s.
It's because nearly everyone has cars, that public transport isn't much of an option for those who don't.

I'm dreading not being able to drive any more, because I'm going to be pretty much stranded unless I move into a buzzing town. Back in the day there was a really good bus service here. Now there are about three a day, and only one a week to the shopping centre that I use most. No way could I have commuted to work easily. And of course most young parents have to get their kids to nursery or school before they can even start their journey to work.

There are a few boomers here who are embarrassing themselves and me. Like the one who seemed to think that midwives and district nurses could still get around by bike. Entirely ignoring the fact that their roles and medical equipment and have changed hugely since those days.

Expectations of what? An affordable home? God, kids these days wanting the moon on a stick!!!

Back when my parents started out they could easily buy a house on 1 teachers wage. My mum's part time wages were considered 'pocket money'.
Most families only needed one car (if any) because commuting to work wasn't a massive thing. Many mum's worked locally, of they worked at all.
They bought their 1st house (I guess in the 60s) for 4k, my dad earned 2k a year. (So im told). The latest house they sold was over 600k. Mum downsized to a 3 bed with large gardens for over 450k.

There's no way a house is simply twice a teachers wage now. There are very few places one average wage can buy a house. So, both people need to work. Often requiring a 2nd car, childcare and so on. Many people are waiting to have kids until their mid to late 30s for financial reasons. Even their 40s. And by then, their parents are too busy being retired, or too tired or ill to help much.

Yes, I know im generalising, but, it's not an unusual scenario. It's really tough and to suggest people arent working hard, or aren't sacrificing enough, is really pretty galling.

If you still need convincing, take a look at the cost of living posts. Ordinary folks are genuinely struggling on ordinary wages.

Expectations all round from holidays to homes. If you don't have enough money you relocate to a less expensive area, budget holiday or no holiday, have children you can afford etc etc. if you need more money seek a better job, up skill, don't make disastrous marriage decisions. You plan and make provisions.

How many people complaining can honestly say they survive on rice and pasta, no luxuries only basics, no social life or holidays. minimal heating. Do this until you are established financially with a nest egg to fall back on.

I'm curious. Have you looked at local house prices and rental prices whete you are? The average wage? How do they compare? Have you taken the time to speak to younger people and really find out the cost of their bills?

I have a home, I can afford my bills, just. But I know im in a lucky position. I know it is simply not an option for most people to save enough for a deposit.

I'm curious. Have you looked at local house prices and rental prices whete you are? The average wage? How do they compare?

Where I live average salary is £40k and average house price is £200k. You can buy a three bedroom house for £125k. That’s pretty much the same ratio as when I bought my first house 25 years ago.

The vast majority of people in the UK don’t live in London/South East. Buying a home isn’t impossible in most of the country.

Imagine the cost if that commute now. Public transport has risen to ridiculous prices- nobody could afford to go to work if they all did that. Absolutely ridiculous.

I get it, it's the boomer generation! Things are sooo much more difficult now for people wanting to buy a home, I just think one day it will all be mine!

This is so much BS.
I grew up with boomer parents, before us they enjoyed meals out and visits to the pub, like all of their friends as they’ve told us.
When I was little, so early 80s Mum still bought clothes regularly (which were probably comparatively more expensive). They might not have had Costa, but they regularly met our other relatives in cafes and tea rooms for a brew and a sandwich. They always had fish and chips in a Friday night. My Dad went to the pub or the working men’s club most evenings, as did my friends Dads. They also all played the pools and went to the bookies. I grew up on a very working class estate and non of the adults stayed in and darned their socks. This was when my parents were mid 20s
My wealthier friends regularly went to the fair, had dinner at the golf club and pub lunches etc .
i dint begrudge the older generation money,I dint care but it gets pretty boring when they constantly whine about how they don’t have Costa and therefore could afford to buy a house yet spend their money just as frivolously.

OK, my parents, - both degree-educated professionals - married in 1957. Had 3 children, who were all privately educated. Bought their one and only house in 1961. One parent retired early, the other did an extra 18 months to enable them to buy a car that slightly "outdid" the other's.
Spent a lot of money in retirement travelling. No idea what they handed out to my siblings, but I was very grateful to get a hand out about 13 years ago, not a huge amount.
I am happy that my parents did what they wanted to do and enjoyed their retirement.
We didn't get a huge amount after they both died, but why would we? We had had the advantage of a good education and a very decent upbringing.

Nearly a third of people live in London and the south east so "vast majority" is a big stretch. And then there are all the other unaffordable cities outside that too - primarily in the south west but increasingly now in the Midlands and the North. One in five local authorities now have a price to earnings ratio of 12 or more. If trends continue all of this will worsen.

These are the facts, you can ignore them if you want.

It should be possible to buy a home without living like a monk in ALL of the country. That's what the government is there for.

Yes there are probably some people who always aren't going to be able to afford a place to live for various reasons and will need to be socially housed. But those various reasons should be limited to relatively special cases, not people in routine and socially necessary jobs like doctors, nurses and teachers.

Once you break the social contract with people, that if you are prepared to work you should be able to afford a place to live, that is a very slippery slope because a lot of people will start to think "why bother working if I can't even house myself?"

We are arguably in this situation now in many areas of the country.

I think you are confusing me with another poster. They didn't have low skilled jobs.

Mine either! Although MIL has the same fridge from the 50's

18 million live in London and the South east. 50 million live elsewhere in the UK, so that’s nearer a quarter.

And yes, of course there are more expensive areas, but there will be affordable homes amongst them. I did a Rightmove search for houses (not flats) in the south east for under £250k, and there were over 1,600. They might not be show homes in the best areas but our first homes were usually crappy houses in crappy areas. Only back then we didn’t think that we were too good for them.

I am somewhat stunned that a person could be jealous of their parents’ good fortune and financial standing. You should be thankful you are not having to financially support them.

FFS - OP specifically said she was resentful of the situation, not her parents.

I don't live in the UK but house prices here are out of control also, and wages not high. Yet most of my friends, in their late 60s and early 70s, have children who are wealthier than they are, and certainly wealthier than they were at the same age. What is so different in the UK?

I think the rate with which wages have climbed is a factor, also the availability of good alternatives to buying your own home, and the fact that we had a much better welfare and public funding system in the past. It is true that people lived more simply and expected less previously. But there is no way someone living in London could afford to buy and run a family and house on one modest salary - something that was very possible in the past. In terms of pensions - I will have to work 10 - 15 years longer than my parents and older sister in order to be able to survive on my averaged salary - they had the benefit of final salary pensions and that made a big difference.

Edited to add - the type of jobs available has also changed with the decrease in manufacturing - a lot of blue collar jobs that paid well have disappeared.

There was also some sort of extra loan available from the Wilson government, designed to get people to buy houses.My parents bought a house also late 60's 4K.My father was a reader for a newspaper and worked nights to pay the mortgage.
My mother didn't have to work again until I was around 10.Although my father did commute and the print room was not a very healthy place.
My father had had a very hard childhood, so he was dug out of a bombsite as a child lucky to be alive.
Even so I am sorry for todays kids young adults it's crap.
I do have a house but live in France, which also has some housing problems but they always seem to be building social housing, I think every town has to offer a ceryain amount.

My parents and older sister also benefited from different grants to upgrade their houses, which were massively financially beneficial. Nothing like that today.

Oh well thank goodness. Your quick Rightmove search clearly trumps all of the official statistics on house price affordability from the last 100 years.

With more than 1600 cheap homes for only 18 million people that's nearly a whole house for every 10,000 people! Let's hope they've all been eating frugally.

Mid 60s teachers wages were approx £800-£1200 per annum. If your dad was just starting out he would have been on the lower end. Teachers salaries were very bad until end of 1970s when they started to improve.

@Lifestooshort6591 fair enough, maybe he earned 1k and the house was 2k. Either way, I know it was double his earnings. My mum spoke about it just recently.

And this is the perfect example.
You're scoffing at the idea of saving 1000 quid.....