I've just seen the most depressing thing

[Havesomecommonsense]

In a coffee shop, in comes a Dad and his daughter (roughly 3 years old)
He made a comment to the daughter about this being a weekly visit before he dropped her back to the mum
He then sat her on his lap, gave her a phone and she watched instagram videos and he watched his own phone holding it over her head..
He gave her some food, which she kept choking on intermittently. He barely said 2 words to her
Yes I'm judging, but fgs do better

Unfortunately schools have been sold this technology as time saving and easier for everyone. There was a huge push on technology in the lockdown years and a lot of it stayed around. Some useful and some not.

As a pp said the tech companies are to blame with their lack of concern for the societal impacts. It would be great to pare back the use of smartphones and digital technology to 11s onwards so that children's brain and motor development stand a chance.

It sounds like outcry by an older generation but I am not that old and have seen the impact increasing over the last ten years, it is stark and you wonder why no one is doing anything to stop it.

Then I spotted an advertisements on a bus shelter in London telling parents to speak to their children which acknowledges there is an issue that needs to be tackled by everyone.

and as a parent, I maintain that if tech was limited to laptops, half the problem would disappear.

Kids and teens aren't stupid, they know how to download apps, they have older siblings and most parents are not tech savy enough to even notice what app they have, and how they've hidden them.

School want kids to have smart phones, kids use them. Everyone is on whatsapp these days, raising the age limit is pointless

Wow - really ? An advert in London telling parents to speak to their kids ??

wow.

We have diverted from the actual post here
A three year old on a phone for half an hour getting ignored by her dad also glued to phone

what's telling? That I don't have kids who just sit down quietly looking around for 30mn? They absolutely do not have to do that at school!

My youngest child would absolutely not have sat looking quietly around for 30 mins at age 3. I could have handed her my phone but instead I took a bag with me that had toys, books, colouring in things and had to engage with her to keep her seated.

She did have some screen time at home when she was a bit older but never outside when she had the opportunity to take in her surroundings and engage with things going on. Also...

From year 7 (the first year of Secondary school), the school EXPECT them to have a smart phone, it's very difficult and awkward to access what they need without one: homework list, payment and funds for lunch, list of those picked up to join the teams, contacting parents, taking photos of schedule and sending them to parents*

I have never known a secondary school message any pupils on their phones. It's always the parents the school contacts. It's me who is contacted with all that stuff not my DC.

ok, but my kids schools and their friends school does, and tell them to keep the parents updated.

Kids are supposed to have ownership of their own homework and own school emails. I get emails too, but I don't get a copy of all the emails my kids receive (they obviously don't get mine either, school doesn't inform them of the many little payments popping up all the time 😄)

When my kid go on a sport competition on a school day, the school leave it to children to inform parents when they are leaving and when they are arriving for pickup. Without phone, I wouldn't know if my kid was back at 4pm or 7pm.

It's pretty standard?

The school will be training moderate appropriate phone use
Not what this thread was about

ok, but my kids schools and their friends school does, and tell them to keep the parents updated.

No I'm sorry but that just isn't true. Can you imagine the carnage of leaving it up to 11/12 year olds to organise these things. Didn't happen.

Agreed

Parents have always found ways to ignore their children. Long before mobile phones my dad used gardening to get away from us kids and my mum read books/listened to radio 4. You may think phones are the scourge of the earth but I can promise you that kids all over the world were being emotionally neglected before they were invented.

If you were sitting on your dad's lap making distressed noises would he have ignored you
Would he have given you something to stare at for 30 mins that we know is not good for children

I saw a dad pushing his daughter for at least half an hour on the swing whilst the girl was watching something on the phone. I did find it very strange but of course I know nothing about them/their day. However the only time I argue with my DP is about the amount of screen time or sweets he gives to our DCs. He usually resorts to the easiest/least dramatic option especially with our younger DC

Obviously, something is lacking in the education system. Perhaps the curriculum should be adjusted to include the needs of children and the art of conversation, before the students leave school.

There again, perhaps they have kids while they're at school. All the more reason to teach them something about life and living it responsibly.

I shall probably get castigated for that post. I don't mind. It brings out the nature of modern mums.

Another one confusing their opinion with facts.

if you had kids in secondary, you would know. It's not carnage, parents have whatsapp groups, track the kids phone so know where the kids are exactly. It's pretty easy.

Kids don't organise, they inform. Not exactly the same is it.

Funny to read all the defensive posters who obviously do the same... 'Let them parent their own way!' Very sad, indeed. Giving your child a phone and being on your own phone is NOT parenting, by the way.

No! It is very much her business. It’s time people made a stand. It’s neglect!
Don’t bloody have children if you can’t dedicate the time to them.
The children are our future so it’s everyone’s business.

You've said for two days you wanted "a conversation" so this is conversation for you. It develops. It's not just about one left-behind lady constantly moaning about one dad for two days. I call bs on this thread anyway.

What the hell is a "left behind lady,"? And again, which actually cares if this specific example is true or not...the discussion is still valid...are phones causing parents to neglect their kids either by being distracted themselves and /or using them as an easy distraction too often.

An interesting point has been raised, to go along with the shift in discussion about phones as useful tools that we all use and schools use for apps .. absolutely they are, but it's possible to put software on kids phones that prevents them from downloading apps without parental permission so you can have the useful bit without the harmful bit. Until the kid is paying the bill, I say what goes on my teens' phones and how long they can have on them. It requires the parent to get a little bit tech savvy (but not much really, Google family is pretty intuitive) and put in just a touch of effort but it's perfectly possible. It's not a case of "oh well schools make them have phones so that's it, game over".

As stated many times its true
Don't know what anleft behind lady is but from the tone of your post I suspect its something nasty.

So this man carries around 2 smart phones? And one is for a 3 year old to use with Instagram for her? You watched them the whole time to be able to note they didnt look at each other and to see the content of the phone. The only time you heard him speak was to say that he would be dropping her back off at her mum's after, thus conveniently providing the narrative for this story that he was a part time dad.

Yes. Troll hunt all you want, report me to MN if you like.
This is true, I am a long term poster and never had any problems or misused the site.
Why is it so hard for you to accept that someone did this? Yes he had 2 phones. This is not uncommon.

Been on here many years
Are you going to continue to target me ?
I've reported

It’s not uncommon to have two phones?

Really?