I've just seen the most depressing thing

[Havesomecommonsense]

In a coffee shop, in comes a Dad and his daughter (roughly 3 years old)
He made a comment to the daughter about this being a weekly visit before he dropped her back to the mum
He then sat her on his lap, gave her a phone and she watched instagram videos and he watched his own phone holding it over her head..
He gave her some food, which she kept choking on intermittently. He barely said 2 words to her
Yes I'm judging, but fgs do better

people thought you could die from seating in a steam train, it's not new...

Trying to ban kids from having screens is ridiculous, and unrealistic. Teaching them to use them in moderation is the only way. Teaching them about social media is good parenting.

If you don't teach them about the world they live in, and use the tools we have, you are going to run into big problems very quickly

Exactly what the guy in the cafe was not doing

what about the role of the schools themselves, more than encouraging kids to have smart phones?

Everything is on app, is emailed, is internet-based? (secondary, but an 11 year old is still a child)

What about the fact that the dad has just showed his child, even when you cough and splutter and chike on your food, my phone is more important

You are now so far away from the point of the thread that a 3 year old was being given IG reels to look at for an extended period of time without any parental interaction …

you appear to be stuck in a defensive echo chamber of you are doing OK and your kids are OK - and that is great, we aren’t talking about your kids, it’s about a 3 year old soaking up IG reels and what that is a facet / reflection of …

this doesn’t need to be personal, it is societal,

Exactly !!!

This with bells on! If you work in a school you know just how bad it is. I think so many people are totally oblivious to how bad things really are

Schools have a responsibility clearly to use tech as the amazing tool that if is,

schools won’t be facilitating social media,
selfies, snapchat counts and streaks, doom scrolling, TikTok as a source of information ..

schools using tech is poles apart from the screen addicted behaviour we see related to reels etc which is what is a huge part of the epidemic of child / teen mental illnesses

Why are parents defending the constant use of phones? Life is all about balance and protecting your children from harm, that's the job. It's hard, we all need breaks but phones and tablets are not helping your child develop.

A 3 year old should not have a phone in their hands. 11 is an age you could begin to allow access, 13 is the age for social media and it is still too young and extremely damaging.

Sure, although as a mid-career researcher i'm not sure how being a young researcher is relevant. It's an interesting field but you are also pre-assuming a negative outcome.

And there was a lot of research in the 50/60s on effects of rock music on youngsters. Each aging generation becomes anxious about becoming irrelevant so they vilify new innovations. And like I said, I'm not at all for screens at all costs, I think they serve a purpose in modern world and can also be an asset. Though SM isn't one of those.

"A dad who at least has taken her out". So that's it then, nothing else required? No attention, no interaction because he took her out. Bloody hell.

Some governments are considering social media should be 16+
It's a fairly well known issue. Tech company bosses won't let their own kids have phones. We know the dangers

Because it's neglectful and cruel.

No spark of interest when child was making a sound suggesting a problem (coughing)

No, I’ve got school age not adult kids
which have grown up with the smartphones and have had access like all their peers,
But I am not oblivious to the impact screens have on psychological and social development and in particular mental health -
being a burnt out parent using a phone to support your parenting is more likely to mean your kids have difficulties that are going to contribute to you being burnt out !!
it’s just a temporary fix to being burnt out, buys a bit of time, gives a bit of dopamine,
but the problems don’t go away …
and staring into the screen isn’t going to resolve the problems….

I love that when I am responding to the points posters made, I am the one accused to be the one far away from the thread, because you don't agree.

and my point about the schools was that, it's not personal, it's about all the kids there.

It's not about me "being ok" and looking at the reality of the world we are in now, and the schools do have a role in it.

Most modern parents have less help! Really?

A lot of research re rock music in the 50’s and 60’s ???

hardly comparable to the research we have seen in recent years pulling on neuroscience/ psychology/ behavioural science etc etc

blimey in that era women were admitted to psychiatric hospitals for ‘loose morals’ !!!

look at some recent RCT’s mid career researcher - you will find it illuminating!!

You could use modern resources with a computer, no one is forcing schools to select apps that only work on phones, apps that are needed during the day and make it very awkward and difficult for the one child who doesn't have a smart phone.

I am not "blaming" schools, but can we be honest about the reality of a life as an 11 year old child? (11 year old because things are still a bit different in Primary, at least until year 5 and 6)

what "help" do modern parents have?

Schools are under pressure to stop daytime phone use
Govt want phones away in the day

Oh goodness what a stretch, no one has suggested turn back the clock and go all PC rather than smartphone -
of course the smartphone / apps are fantastic tools that kids need to be able to utilise

see above - sensible people are referencing social media and dopamine enhancing / addictive elements of smartphones as problematic
there is a difference between the utility of a child accessing a smartphone for school / apps and a 3 year old watching IG reels !

Exactly this!

then which is it?

We encourage kids to have smartphone, meaning accessing all the features on them, or complain that parents give them smartphone and the kids use them? 😂

At least people who want smartphone to be banned for under 16 - and at worst back to the old Nokia, are consistent.

A parent distracting his preschool child for 20mn with a screen, big deal. If the kid was stuck in front of a tv screen on the wall in the same shop, it would be the same.

Indeed, kids leaving the classroom to maintain their ‘streak’ take a selfie in the loo,
bully other kids, worrying that they’ve been excluded from the group chat on snap take up a huge amount of school time, and contribute to kids heads not being in the education game during school hours -
it’s a really hard one for them to manage
the amount of communication I’ve seen from schools about kids accessing stuff online inappropriately, the bullying, using apps they aren’t old enough to consent to etc ..
Schools are massively struggling with this
they are trying to walk the line beween using tech for good but not perpetuating the problems this brings