Territorial dispute in swimming pool

[tamade]

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

True. I have CPTSD from domestic violence as a kid so men accidentally hitting into me causes me big problems.

It’s the fact he swam underneath her which feels aggressive and unnecessary.

How close do you think he should be able to get to the OP in an otherwise empty public space before you agree that he is too close?

He prefers lane 2. He hoped you were on last legnth moved when he realised you weren't. Went back to his preferred lane 2 when you left. Don't see any issue.

I don't appreciate anyone hitting into me tbh, however appreciate some folk can have more sensitivies to certain people.
The thing is though, this man didn't touch OP, and moved away from her too - it's quite possible he didn't even initially notice her. Labelling him as one of 'these men' clearly is a big step.
I've actually stopped swimming much these days, too many unwashed and irritating folk in a small space. ✌️

Oh now that's a far to sensible reply!

In a shared lane people do get quite close to each other, closer than in many other semi-naked situations with strangers. Anyone who struggles with that needs to relocate to a quieter area imho.

This, or he didn't actually initially notice her.

Ok thanks. I'm about the slowest swimmer ever so don't do lanes.

you're reading too much into this.
perhaps he didn’t see you (has happened to me without my glasses).
perhaps he prefers the direction of swimming in lane 2 (I prefer anti clockwise for some reason 😊)

Some of the aggression on this thread is bonkers

I don't swim much these days, but pre-covid was a regular decent enough lane swimmer. I always preferred centre lanes/centre of pool. When swimming competitions seed races they start with faster swimmers in the middle and slower ones out toward the edges, that's why the triangle shape often appears in races. 😃

This is wild - they were in a swimming pool that was empty but for the two of them. OP was there first swimming away minding her own business. He entered the pool swam, right up to her, he swam UNDER her and people are saying saying she should share - he literally had the entire rest of the pool to share!

presumably you have to sign in and they record the pool area op? I probably would have thought he was just being a bit of a knob until he swam right under you, that feels gross an intimidating - I would report this to the people on the desk and let them resolve

Again, ex-club and seasoned lane swimmers swim under people ALL the time.

Really? If something like this bothers you so much that you have to take to SM you need to get out more.

It always amazes me how often comments like this one are the first response.

You’re right, there wasn’t a dispute, he just charged into her lane and swam underneath her. Did what he wanted because man. I haven’t read the rest of the responses yet but I bet there’s woman after woman talking about men that have been aggressive, likely to the point of physical assault, in pools.

But do we know is if it was a club swim - it doesn’t sound like it was to me but who knows. Assuming it was then maybe that’s different, although were that the case, do you not think OP would have felt more comfortable with it?

Even if that is what you do in swimming drill, it doesn’t mean it’s appropriate in an open swim session. It doesn’t sit right with me to tell someone who feels uncomfortable when someone has invaded their personal space that it’s their problem tbh

Oh, two of you in a row!

Not in the pool it isn't.

🙄 shame there aren’t online conduct lessons.

Aren’t the lanes normally indicators of speed? Maybe he normally swims at lane 2 speed and his surprise was that OP was going lane 1 speed in lane 2?

they aren’t first come first serve.

Sounds like he wasn't expecting you to be faster than him OP and only moved out when he realised you were coming up behind him. I reckon that's why he moved over. He wanted the lane - but he didn't want it with a woman who was faster than him.

You’re right, he had three to choose from without straying into hers.

Fuming? About using a different EMPTY lane? You do realise the speed signs are just arbitrarily placed there by 17 year old bored lifeguards, not a divine celebration of your incredible athleticism? It doesn't mean anything.

I dont know why people are falling over themselves to make excuses for this random man (except because he's a man?) - the relative speed of anyone else swimming only matters if the pool is busy. Otherwise the 'rule' is everyone uses an empty lane first. It would be utterly ridiculous if 4 people were whizzing up and down the fast lane bumping into each other while middle and slow remained empty.

Regardless of what speed op was going he clearly didn't want to share a lane so why go into 'her' lane at all? If multiple other people came in after and he was stuck in the medium lane going faster than OP fair enough but the pool was empty other than them.

Yes, Einstein, that's why normal behaviour would be to choose an unoccupied lane if there is one available. In this case there were three.

'Charged' 🫣