Territorial dispute in swimming pool

[tamade]

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

Good list

The only one you missed are the several posters suggesting that despite apparently having good enough eyesight to drive/walk to the pool, find the changing room, change and get in to the water, the man somehow "didn't notice" the only other person there...including when she was splashing around inches from him in the adjacent lane.

The dispute is that he went into her lane in the first place. She was in it first. Yet another male taking a woman's space!

@GleisZwei I'm not saying you have a comprehension issue I expect you were too busy arguing with other posters to read that update. Or the later one where I explained the lanes are not particularly wide - probably not even a standard competition lane. They are always there never seen them removed

I read all your updates.
No need for sarcy comments, itcwas a discussion.
I've also never seen a lane rope that cannot be removed, and I've been to a lot of pools!

Crikey ! I’d have pushed off right beside him then swam back along the line .. maybe splashing him ‘accidentally’ in the process!

I think this is actually a really shitty comment.

Not everyone can swim quickly and mocking someone for doing “nana breaststroke” is exactly the kind of thing that stops people from exercising, for fear of not being as good as others. Same goes for gyms.

Someone doing a slow breaststroke IS “swimming properly”. Certainly they shouldn’t be in the fast lane but if they want to swim up and down the slow lanes at a pace they can manage then good for them. In this example, the OP said there were no lane denominations re speed….and there were three other empty lanes.

Wanting to train as a pro swimmer/coach doesn’t mean you get to decide who’s worthy enough to use the pool.

I agree and I think maybe HonestBlueEagle you should find a different job, with your judgy attitude. Some people are just coming back to fitness, some are just starting, fgs some might even have just learnt to swim! I even see some people walking up & down in the pool. Obviously that would probably only work if they're the only ones in the lane but they are perfectly entitled to do whatever they feel they want to do in the pool within reason. Not affecting anyone so maybe mind your own business

Nana breaststroke - how lovely. Without lingering too long on your embarrassingly blatant misogyny, could you share with us where you think the poster should have been swimming, in this scenario?

Sounds like he expected you to move because he fancied lane 2 to himself, which was unreasonable of him. I wouldn’t spare it another thought.

I'm not sure what people on this thread aren't getting 🙄

If you got into a pool where there was only one woman swimming in a lane, would you:

A. Get into an empty lane and stay in that lane?

B. Get into an empty lane then move into the lane currently being used by the only other swimmer and be so close to her you need to swim under her?

Hint: If your answer is anything other than A then you need to work on your personal space and social skills.

Breaststroke is in the Olympics - I think it is a proper stroke and whilst the same swimmer may go faster if they crawl there are some pretty slow crawlers and fast breaststroke people out there

pick a free lane

if congested get into the lane which is closest to your speed

stoke independent

"So frustrating watching people swim nana breastroke when their swimmers who want to actually swim and train as a swimmer and a coach."

Guess what. Unless it's your own private lap pool, it's for everyone. You have a terrible attitude towards people swimming as an exercise. I'm a fast breaststroker, it's faster than my freestyle. I narrow my kick if I'm sharing the lane.

You would hate my combo of breaststroke arms and butterfly kick.

Watch out if you're swimming with a bunch of older Russian nanas. They can breaststroke with their head out of the water all day long and if you get their hair wet, you will hear about it.

Perhaps because I couldn’t be arsed to reply to such anger. The fact is neither you, I or anyone has any idea what this blokes intentions were. We have all used our lived experience to contribute to what is all just assumption. I have swum almost daily for over 30 years and have encountered every manner of arsehole. I’ve also become friendly with a man who once got really arsey because I had the cheek to overtake him so I am fully aware of different levels of intimidation and aggression in the pool but you know what, I chose to not default to everyone’s a c@nt with so little evidence. I hope that response was enough for you. Your response to mine was unnecessarily aggressive but I suspect your default setting is just more angry than mine. All the best.

You can infer people’s intentions from actions with some careful thought and common sense. Juries and other tribunals have to do it every day of the week, and fortunately they don’t just wash their hands of it as readily as you!

I think it was @MissScarletInTheBallroom who analysed his behaviour and intentions. I thought the logic of that was pretty spot on. It’s not true to say we have no idea. You might think it’s not worth bothering to think about (I would disagree), but that would be a separate argument.

Nonsense, a jury uses evidence hence why convictions are so difficult and you’ve now strayed so far from the point of the thread that it’s ridiculous. I’m not washing my hands of anything (bizarre thing to say) as i’m not involved nor responsible. If the OP thought this man’s behaviour threatening she had the option to report to lifeguards but she didn’t she asked for opinions on an internet chat, she got differing ones and if you care to scroll back to my original post you’ll see that I offered a suggestion of an alternative framing of the issue in a kind manner. If choosing not to believe all odd behaviour is intentionally malicious means i’m ‘washing my hands’ then so be it.

Right. MissScarlet nailed it completely. I can't find her original post, so I am quoting yours, sorry.

I mean washing your hands of forming an opinion of the man’s intentions, by saying that we have no idea what they were. I’m not straying from the point of the thread, I’ve just responded to your statement that we can have no idea what his intentions were. @MissScarletInTheBallroom has demonstrated very well that we can.

with 3 lanes you’d presume slow med and fast
he got in at the side went to medium lane but was faster than OP ( he caught her up ) then ducted under rope to fast lane
when OP got he went back to medium lane

a lot of people are just arseholes when it comes to swimming lanes you go in the lane relevant to your ability rather than which one you fancy

a lot of people are just arseholes when it comes to swimming lanes you go in the lane relevant to your ability rather than which one you fancy

If the lanes don't have speed indicators, and the pool is mostly empty, you choose whichever empty lane you fancy. If there were already people in every lane, you choose the lane that is nearest your swimming speed.

your definition of 'anger' seems very different to everyone else's, and, indeed, the dictionary, but okay.

It is always an issue with lane swimming especially if they are divided into slow medium and fast. I am in between slow and medium but if you get a slower swimmer and try to overtake some slow swimmers don't like it. All they have to do is stop at the end of the lane and let a faster swimmer go ahead. However few do that and I have even been deliberately hit by swimmers that should be in the slow lane. Doesn't always make for a relaxing swim :)

Jeez - I'm sure this place is called Mumsnet

But perhaps www.misandrist.com is available

I'm starting to feel sorry for men these days. The OP seems to be making a fuss about not a lot and, while there are a number of people saying she's a bit territorial, there's a lot of quite sexist comments about men.

I'm not sure how any of you would react to that other pool perennial trope of the two women breast stroking side by side, heads up, then having a layback side by side at the end of the pool, making it really hard to turn without touching either of them. Do we think the accidental touch by a man in that situation is sexual assault or just the women being knobs (as per PP description)

Lane 1 is horrid to swim in - it's against a wall (which makes a difference) and people get in and out there. It's usually used by weaker swimmers, often breaststrokers.

Lane 2 through 4 get progressively quicker.

He went into lane 2 out of habit (since it seems it's his kinda speed).

She caught up with him so she's probably lane 3 speed. He probably thought she'd jump into Lane 3 since she's faster and he won't want to duck into Lane 1 (it's still horrid).

She didn't move (being of a territorial mindset, as per OP), so he moved.

He swam under her rather than across her - it's not exactly complicated. Swimming across lanes and lifting float-ropes over your head is annoying, often scratches, and is slow.

She left, he did the good thing of returning to a lane that he reckons is more his speed than Lane 3 where he holds people up.

Seems he was more reasonable than her if you ask me.

Oh boo hoo, the poor mens 😭 they're so hard done by. It's a womans world after all 🙄

Or here's a thought, maybe if men started to act with respect and empathy towards women instead of misogyny, sexism and hatred we wouldn't need to call them out on their behaviour.

I think he was expecting you to mind out of his way. (Is there any chance he didn't spot you when he first got in the pool?)

I have had this happen to me (not the swimming underneath part though). I think you can just tell the difference, there are people who are polite, who smile, swim around others or wait for a space before they go ahead. There are also people who pick their spot, put their goggles on and plough on regardless forcing everyone else to move.

I think swimming underneath you is creepy and disrespectful.