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Original poster

Territorial dispute in swimming pool

487 replies

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:54

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

OP posts:
NorthenAdventure · 26/08/2025 19:12

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 18:54

Everyone doesn't know OPs anecdote is correct.
People are allowed to disagree with you or with OP, without you resorting to name calling.

Show quote history

I agree. This is not gas lighting at all. How odd that she thinks it is.

GleisZwei · 26/08/2025 19:13

NorthenAdventure · 26/08/2025 19:12

I agree. This is not gas lighting at all. How odd that she thinks it is.

Show quote history

Gaslighting is a frequently misused term on MN, sadly.

Workisntworking · 26/08/2025 19:25

Ive actually just finished writing an email to my gym after yet another incident at my pool yesterday. And yes, it was men who were the problem.

Women can be fast or slow but generally work around each other and let each other pass at the end. Men come in, thrash around hog the middle of which ever lane they're in, frequently change lane and even swim underneath women who are swimming towards them. Yesterday I was actually hurt in the pool - still in pain today.

It comes down to misogyny - they don't do it to other men, and will always choose to share a lane with a woman rather than a man, even when the other man is their mate.

And the male lifeguards are like the 3 wise monkeys.

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 19:46

YetYeti · 26/08/2025 17:26

That’s quite the leap. I was specifically talking about the fact that he purposely swam underneath a woman in a pool that had multiple empty lanes. We’ll have to disagree if you’re thinking that sounds like a good move.

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You make it sound like be was doing lengths underneath the OP.

I read it as they met at the end of the lane and he then swam underneath her to get to the next lane. A couple of seconds tops.

The difference between what the OP posted and the scenarios posted after are wild

TheRoseBear · 26/08/2025 20:06

His behaviour was unacceptable IMO. Trying to make you change lanes is rude, and I agree with you, that that is what he was trying to do. Swimming underneath you is completely unacceptable and I would make a complaint about that. I think that was intimidating behaviour.

YetYeti · 26/08/2025 20:19

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 19:46

You make it sound like be was doing lengths underneath the OP.

I read it as they met at the end of the lane and he then swam underneath her to get to the next lane. A couple of seconds tops.

The difference between what the OP posted and the scenarios posted after are wild

Show quote history

Why would I make out he was swimming lengths underneath her? That would be wild. Why all the insistence of things being ‘wild’ on this thread? Again, I just don’t think a man getting into a pool with only one person in it, a woman, has any need to be close enough to need to swim underneath her.

lljkk · 26/08/2025 20:24

The parts that confuse me are...

why is a public-access pool set up for lanes yet nearly empty at lunchtime? Doesn't sound like any pool attendant would make back their salary in time that only 2 of them were swimming.

How could OP see he was surprised if he was wearing googles? You need to see someone's eyes to tell if they are surprised. I can't see people's eyes when they have goggles on.

Why wouldn't he being wearing goggles when he swam underwater, did repeat lengths, including kicking off wall.

A lot of swimmers are blind in the pool (no expensive prescription goggles or damn things fog up) so that could explain him not expecting to see another swimmer. Or didn't realise OP was so fast.

A lot of pools don't allow any photos taken poolside.

YetYeti · 26/08/2025 20:35

tamade · 26/08/2025 11:07

This is the scene of the incident. The lanes are not graded for speed, it’s a free choice. Personally I’d always choose an unoccupied one. Can’t understand not doing so.

Do you live in China?

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 22:20

YetYeti · 26/08/2025 20:19

Why would I make out he was swimming lengths underneath her? That would be wild. Why all the insistence of things being ‘wild’ on this thread? Again, I just don’t think a man getting into a pool with only one person in it, a woman, has any need to be close enough to need to swim underneath her.

Edited
Show quote history

The OP was close to the man, she caught him up it says in her original post. So for this man to be called a pervert and wanting banning from the pool... Yeah I'd say that's pretty wild

TottyMaude · 26/08/2025 23:03

I've not been on this site long, but I am surprised by the amount of blokes on it. Are they Mums? Is there not a Dadsnet? Blokenet? Deadbeatdadnet?

My Gran told me, a long ime ago, that men do not like women talking to each other. Once you see that, you can't unsee it.

EBearhug · 26/08/2025 23:18

itsgettingweird · 26/08/2025 10:33

Actually that’s the bit that surprises me the least.

Actual swimmers do it naturally. If they get to the end and someone’s behind them they duck under for the swimmer to go over the top of them. They also swim underwater out of others way naturally.

Show quote history

Swimming under other swimmers has never been the norm in any pool I've swum or worked at, and when I was a lifeguard, I'd have been clear it wasn't acceptable if I saw it happening.

I was brought up that if you are lane swimming and there's a slower swimmer in front of you, you overtake them ar the end of the lane, which might mean you have to slow down till you get there. Of course, you do get some who seem completely oblivious to anyone else in the lane, even if you tap them on the ankle, but most of the time it works. It's definitely expected behaviour at my current pool, as they have a sheet of pool etiquette which used to be taped to the back if the lane dpeed/direction signs, though they seem to have disappeared recently. Think it's still on their website, but can't be bothered to check just now.

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 00:14

Pastaandoranges · 26/08/2025 10:24

Maybe he does like lane 2 the best. With something like a regular swim people do have little rituals and routines that help them to get through the excercise and make sure they do it reguarly.
My guess is he wasnt thinking as deeply about it as you were.
Maybe he wanted to swim in lane 2, moved into it, saw you were there, did the decent thing and moved out and then when you got out then moved back when you got out.

'saw she was there?'

how did he miss the ONLY OTHER PERSON in the whole pool? If his eyesight is so bad he didn't notice OP until she was inches from him he probably isn't safe to be swimming alone. How did he manage to locate the ladder to get in? Or the changing room when he's finished?

Also your ridiculous rationale doesn't even make sense. If he was so fond of lane 2 why didn't he get in there in the first place, instead of trying 3 different ones like an aquatic goldilocks?

People are absolutely grasping at straws to defend his behaviour.

It's really not that hard. If someone is already in one lane, and there are multiple others completely free, it's ridiculous and dick behaviour to go in the only occupied one.

itsgettingweird · 27/08/2025 04:54

EBearhug · 26/08/2025 23:18

Swimming under other swimmers has never been the norm in any pool I've swum or worked at, and when I was a lifeguard, I'd have been clear it wasn't acceptable if I saw it happening.

I was brought up that if you are lane swimming and there's a slower swimmer in front of you, you overtake them ar the end of the lane, which might mean you have to slow down till you get there. Of course, you do get some who seem completely oblivious to anyone else in the lane, even if you tap them on the ankle, but most of the time it works. It's definitely expected behaviour at my current pool, as they have a sheet of pool etiquette which used to be taped to the back if the lane dpeed/direction signs, though they seem to have disappeared recently. Think it's still on their website, but can't be bothered to check just now.

Show quote history

What you’ve written is nothing like what I said.

I said (quite clearly) if they are at the end of the pool and someone behind is quicker they will stop, duck under, and allow the person to turn and swim off.

I wish people would stop changing what people are saying to say they are wrong. 🙄

MinnieMountain · 27/08/2025 06:17

May I mention doing back stroke in the lido as an irritant? The swimmers have to keep so close to the rope to go in a straight line and frequently hit it, so I either have to swerve away in the next lane or risk getting hit.

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 27/08/2025 07:20

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 00:14

'saw she was there?'

how did he miss the ONLY OTHER PERSON in the whole pool? If his eyesight is so bad he didn't notice OP until she was inches from him he probably isn't safe to be swimming alone. How did he manage to locate the ladder to get in? Or the changing room when he's finished?

Also your ridiculous rationale doesn't even make sense. If he was so fond of lane 2 why didn't he get in there in the first place, instead of trying 3 different ones like an aquatic goldilocks?

People are absolutely grasping at straws to defend his behaviour.

It's really not that hard. If someone is already in one lane, and there are multiple others completely free, it's ridiculous and dick behaviour to go in the only occupied one.

Show quote history

Let me explain to you how I get in the pool. I go down the ladder into lane 1. I move across to lane 2 and I inevitably move across to lane 3 (medium, anti clockwise). Why is that ridiculous?? I’m not a diver, I use the steps. How else will I manage that without crossing 3 lanes?

Aspanielstolemysanity · 27/08/2025 07:50

MinnieMountain · 27/08/2025 06:17

May I mention doing back stroke in the lido as an irritant? The swimmers have to keep so close to the rope to go in a straight line and frequently hit it, so I either have to swerve away in the next lane or risk getting hit.

I do back stroke if men try and swim at me in some weird game of swimming pool chicken

GleisZwei · 27/08/2025 07:52

MinnieMountain · 27/08/2025 06:17

May I mention doing back stroke in the lido as an irritant? The swimmers have to keep so close to the rope to go in a straight line and frequently hit it, so I either have to swerve away in the next lane or risk getting hit.

Backstroke should generally be avoided when it's busy, unless you're a properly trained backstroke swimmer. It just causes chaos. It's fine if it's quieter.

limescale · 27/08/2025 09:24

Aspanielstolemysanity · 27/08/2025 07:50

I do back stroke if men try and swim at me in some weird game of swimming pool chicken

Show quote history

That sounds dangerous and quite childish. I presume you're only doing this is there are just the two of you in the lane?

limescale · 27/08/2025 09:25

EBearhug · 26/08/2025 23:18

Swimming under other swimmers has never been the norm in any pool I've swum or worked at, and when I was a lifeguard, I'd have been clear it wasn't acceptable if I saw it happening.

I was brought up that if you are lane swimming and there's a slower swimmer in front of you, you overtake them ar the end of the lane, which might mean you have to slow down till you get there. Of course, you do get some who seem completely oblivious to anyone else in the lane, even if you tap them on the ankle, but most of the time it works. It's definitely expected behaviour at my current pool, as they have a sheet of pool etiquette which used to be taped to the back if the lane dpeed/direction signs, though they seem to have disappeared recently. Think it's still on their website, but can't be bothered to check just now.

Show quote history

Agree. I have never in all my years seen swimming under as the norm.
What you say @EBearhug is exactly what our pool does.

ClairDeLaLune · 27/08/2025 09:47

Largeherbivore · 26/08/2025 07:43

Lane 2 is obviously the superior lane if everyone wants to swim in it. So the pool is at fault for not having more second lanes. They should replace lanes 1,3 and 4 with more 2s.

Where’s the 😂 emoji when you need it?

Total non-event. Man goes into his favourite lane for swimming, realises there’s someone already in it so moves into another lane, moves back when she’s gone. Let’s all assume he’s some sort of misogynistic prick with zero evidence whatsoever.

ConnieHeart · 27/08/2025 09:54

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 27/08/2025 07:20

Let me explain to you how I get in the pool. I go down the ladder into lane 1. I move across to lane 2 and I inevitably move across to lane 3 (medium, anti clockwise). Why is that ridiculous?? I’m not a diver, I use the steps. How else will I manage that without crossing 3 lanes?

Show quote history

Do you swim in each lane before you get into one you want?

BG2015 · 27/08/2025 12:29

I climb in and out of the edge of the pool. I always choose the lane with the least amount of people but never choose the slow or fast lanes.
Never seen anyone swim underneath someone at our pool. I would think it very weird if anyone (man or woman) got into the lane I was swimming in if all the other lanes were empty

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 14:42

BoogieBoogieWoogie · 27/08/2025 07:20

Let me explain to you how I get in the pool. I go down the ladder into lane 1. I move across to lane 2 and I inevitably move across to lane 3 (medium, anti clockwise). Why is that ridiculous?? I’m not a diver, I use the steps. How else will I manage that without crossing 3 lanes?

Show quote history

Thank you for that fascinating insight into the exact minutiae of your exercise routine which has no relevance whatsoever to OPs post, where the man didn't just use lane one because it was the one with the ladder and then two because it was on the way to lane three, the one he wanted to swim in, but swum in both of them for a while then changed to 3 and then back to 2 again.

Bolded for your reference as it doesn't seem that reading comprehension is your strong suit:

"a man got in and started to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane."

Your bizarre desperation to excuse weird behaviour is what's ridiculous, not the concept of using a ladder.

Thisismynewname23 · 27/08/2025 18:05

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:54

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

I go swimming a lot and there is a man who does this I’ve started holding my ground and staying in the lane infuriates me

GonnaeNoDaeThatJustGonnaeNo · 27/08/2025 18:26

What an arsehole he is