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Original poster

Territorial dispute in swimming pool

487 replies

tamade · 26/08/2025 06:54

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

OP posts:
SpidersAreShitheads · 27/08/2025 18:47

OP, you seem a bit annoyed that he's got a favourite swimming lane.

I feel I should confess, I have a favourite parking space in every supermarket, and even a favourite checkout. If I went swimming, I would - without question - have a favourite lane.

I don't find it difficult to believe a man could be a territorial dick - ~gestures around at society - but do you think there's any possibility he didn't notice you at first? You say he seemed surprised - you think he was surprised that you hadn't moved over, but could it have been that he was just surprised to see you? Maybe he thought the lane was empty?

I don't swim regularly now but when I did, I was often in my own world and with eyes hazy from chlorine it's not inconceivable that maybe he didn't notice you or maybe he glanced and thought you were in lane 3 - especially as he seemed happy to shift over to the next lane and not fight you for custody of the hotly desired lane 2.

Allywill · 27/08/2025 19:09

The worst thing about swimming is the other people. He wouldn’t even make my list to be honest which includes slow people in fast lane, fast ones in slow lane, people who “crawl” making the biggest splashes possible, back strokers in any lane, people who walk up and down swim lanes, people who swim two abreast gassing 😩there’s more but i’ll stop now.

Ijustwanttobehealthy · 27/08/2025 19:14

I'd actually complain to the pool manager about this, the way he swam under you like that is both intimidating and I want to say violating but don't think that's quite the right word. They really should be having a word with him about this intimidating behaviour, he may as well have got his knob out and pissed in lane 2. He needs to be told that if someone else is in the lane and there are empty lanes, then he needs to go to an empty lane, and not to try to intimidate or bully people out of a lane. Prick.

gavisconismyfriend · 27/08/2025 19:22

Yep, territorial. Or just doing it for the sake of it. Either way, assumed he could intimidate you into moving. Swimming under someone is the height of bad manners, just another power move on his part. Glad you stayed put OP.

Hmm1234 · 27/08/2025 19:28

He swam underneath you lol what a move maybe he was trying to impress you

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 19:38

SpidersAreShitheads · 27/08/2025 18:47

OP, you seem a bit annoyed that he's got a favourite swimming lane.

I feel I should confess, I have a favourite parking space in every supermarket, and even a favourite checkout. If I went swimming, I would - without question - have a favourite lane.

I don't find it difficult to believe a man could be a territorial dick - ~gestures around at society - but do you think there's any possibility he didn't notice you at first? You say he seemed surprised - you think he was surprised that you hadn't moved over, but could it have been that he was just surprised to see you? Maybe he thought the lane was empty?

I don't swim regularly now but when I did, I was often in my own world and with eyes hazy from chlorine it's not inconceivable that maybe he didn't notice you or maybe he glanced and thought you were in lane 3 - especially as he seemed happy to shift over to the next lane and not fight you for custody of the hotly desired lane 2.

Same, I have a favourite locker, shower and lane and so do other people I swim with, we often joke when other people ‘have the cheek’ to use ‘our’ spaces. OP my lane choice is driven by the direction you swim, I like to swim anticlockwise in the lane so will join a lane with another in it and leave another empty because it’s my preference to swim in that direction. Other people do the same. It may not have been the aggressive move you think.

Sally20099 · 27/08/2025 19:40

Poor guy can’t win! He switches lanes and he’s still in the wrong!

Megank1989 · 27/08/2025 19:49

What a knob. It’s honestly always the men who mess about with lane etiquette. There’s always one in the fast lane who’ll never let you pass at the end of a length so you’re nipping at their heels the whole bloody time

SpidersAreShitheads · 27/08/2025 19:58

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 19:38

Same, I have a favourite locker, shower and lane and so do other people I swim with, we often joke when other people ‘have the cheek’ to use ‘our’ spaces. OP my lane choice is driven by the direction you swim, I like to swim anticlockwise in the lane so will join a lane with another in it and leave another empty because it’s my preference to swim in that direction. Other people do the same. It may not have been the aggressive move you think.

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😂😂 I told DD I was going to paint the words "XX's Space" on my favourite spot at our local Dobbies because when I got there last time someone had parked there. Outrageous.

outerspacepotato · 27/08/2025 20:02

SpidersAreShitheads · 27/08/2025 19:58

😂😂 I told DD I was going to paint the words "XX's Space" on my favourite spot at our local Dobbies because when I got there last time someone had parked there. Outrageous.

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The nerve!

I have a parking cone. It has been used.

SomethingFun · 27/08/2025 20:24

God I can’t believe how many people are saying it’s perfectly reasonable to swim up to and under someone else in a large swimming pool, which other than the two of you is completely empty. It’s such a dick move and incredibly unpleasant for a man to do this to a lone female. Doesn’t have his glasses on my arse.

If you think this is reasonable I despair for the poor sods who encounter you on a daily basis - parking next to them in an empty carpark, swimming in their already occupied lane in an empty pool, sitting next to them in an otherwise empty train carriage. Get a grip and give people some space!

spoonbillstretford · 27/08/2025 20:29

YANBU. He had no reason at all to go into lane 2 while you were in it.

BG2015 · 27/08/2025 20:38

Allywill · 27/08/2025 19:09

The worst thing about swimming is the other people. He wouldn’t even make my list to be honest which includes slow people in fast lane, fast ones in slow lane, people who “crawl” making the biggest splashes possible, back strokers in any lane, people who walk up and down swim lanes, people who swim two abreast gassing 😩there’s more but i’ll stop now.

What is it with the people who walk (one woman even does it sideways) half way down the lane, then start swimming 🤷‍♀️ - I just don't get it.

Elboob · 27/08/2025 20:46

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 07:43

But it wasn't 'her' lane. Like I say the only bringing up territory is the OP. Everything else is just assumptions.

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Can you actually read?
OP was in the lane and no-one else was in the pool! Of course it was "her" lane.
He could swim in any of four lanes but chose the one the lone woman was swimming in and swam straight at her.
Fucking hell.

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:50

Elboob · 27/08/2025 20:46

Can you actually read?
OP was in the lane and no-one else was in the pool! Of course it was "her" lane.
He could swim in any of four lanes but chose the one the lone woman was swimming in and swam straight at her.
Fucking hell.

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I can read, I read that she was swimming towards him not the other way round.

And 😂😂 at it being her lane, as if she has sole use of a lane in a public swimming pool. Turning people away as reception, sorry we're full we've got full occupation of four people 🥴

ThistleTits · 27/08/2025 21:03

BallerinaRadio · 26/08/2025 07:37

There's a lot of assumptions here for a fairly innocuous... Well it's barely an incident never mind a dispute.

If anyone was being territorial I'd say it was probably you being in lane 2 of an empty pool, why not lane 1?

Ladders. Why didn't he stay in the lane he originally used?

Lmnop22 · 27/08/2025 21:07

But maybe he likes lane 2 and just didn’t spot you when he moved into it? Then when he did, he moved over.

No side eye, manspreading or sarcastic comment = no dispute

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 21:14

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 19:38

Same, I have a favourite locker, shower and lane and so do other people I swim with, we often joke when other people ‘have the cheek’ to use ‘our’ spaces. OP my lane choice is driven by the direction you swim, I like to swim anticlockwise in the lane so will join a lane with another in it and leave another empty because it’s my preference to swim in that direction. Other people do the same. It may not have been the aggressive move you think.

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banging my head against the wall.

If OP's lane (2) is his favourite lane, why did he spend 5 minutes swimming up and down in lane 1 before moving over?

Same with all these 'perhaps he didn't see her' suggestions. I used to have -9.25 eyesight before I got laser eye surgery. I couldn't see much - I wouldn't recognise my own mother if she was 5 feet away from me - but I could work out the difference between an empty pool and a pool with someone in it, and which lane they were in.

Again, they were swimming in their separate lanes for at least 5 minutes before he swapped over. They would have passed each other at a distance of inches several times. OP's existence, and the fact she was in the next lane from him, would not have come as a surprise to her.

Not to mention tough luck - favourite lane or not it is a complete dick move to jump in someone else's lane just because you like to go anticlockwise or whatever when the entire rest of the pool is empty. You know the other person doesn't want you in there, but your selfish preference for swimming in a different direction trumps their feelings. Just get a grip and swim the other way.

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 27/08/2025 21:16

Billybagpuss · 26/08/2025 06:58

Always men. I was swimming up and down by a lane rope in a pool where they didn’t have full lanes set out just a mid way divider to separate kids play are from swimming area. A bloke watched me do probably around 20 lengths then got in and started swimming towards me on the same line, he literally did 2 lengths then stopped at the wall and man spread himself across my turning area. I’m cross with myself for not saying anything. Roll on winter when they go back to the indoor pool.

This is why I only go to women’s only sessions.

Men are so rude when it comes to their space and swimming is especially bad. Why the fuck do they swim underneath women?! I good swift “accidental” kick never hurt anyone when that happens

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:28

BallerinaRadio · 27/08/2025 20:50

I can read, I read that she was swimming towards him not the other way round.

And 😂😂 at it being her lane, as if she has sole use of a lane in a public swimming pool. Turning people away as reception, sorry we're full we've got full occupation of four people 🥴

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Shall we go full pedantic then (or try to as you seem to have claimed that particular trophy).
She was already swimming in THAT lane (not her lane) a single lane in an empty pool. He decided to swim in the same lane as her rather than an empty one.
Weird
Creepy
Agressive
Intimidating
Not normal behaviour.
Swimming under her - massively aggressive.
Like someone crossing the street to deliberately walk behind you in the dark.
If you dont understand how this is not normal in an empty pool then you really need some socialising lessons.

Emptyandsad · 27/08/2025 21:30

I am absolutely gobsmacked by the number of people that think that OP is in the wrong and rogue male swimmer is just dandy. I would be fizzing

Elboob · 27/08/2025 21:36

@tamade never have I read such a pile of victim blaming 💩 on a thread!
Seriously, did mumsnet put flags out to invite the shallow end of the gene pool in today?
Lets pick from the list:
Its not 'your' lane (depite you being in it and the pool empty)
You should have moved lanes
It's totally normal to swim so close to a woman that you swim UNDER HER in an empty pool
You aren't swimming fast enough to be in an empty lane in an empty pool
You should get swimming lessons so you can swim faster (wtf ....? )
You can swim where you like in a public pool including UNDER A LONE WOMAN SWIMMING IN AN EMPTY POOL
You are wrong to feel intimidated (By a lone male swimming within 6 inches of you in AN EMPTY POOL)
Fucking hell.
Words really do fail me.

gingerninja · 27/08/2025 22:13

latetothefisting · 27/08/2025 21:14

banging my head against the wall.

If OP's lane (2) is his favourite lane, why did he spend 5 minutes swimming up and down in lane 1 before moving over?

Same with all these 'perhaps he didn't see her' suggestions. I used to have -9.25 eyesight before I got laser eye surgery. I couldn't see much - I wouldn't recognise my own mother if she was 5 feet away from me - but I could work out the difference between an empty pool and a pool with someone in it, and which lane they were in.

Again, they were swimming in their separate lanes for at least 5 minutes before he swapped over. They would have passed each other at a distance of inches several times. OP's existence, and the fact she was in the next lane from him, would not have come as a surprise to her.

Not to mention tough luck - favourite lane or not it is a complete dick move to jump in someone else's lane just because you like to go anticlockwise or whatever when the entire rest of the pool is empty. You know the other person doesn't want you in there, but your selfish preference for swimming in a different direction trumps their feelings. Just get a grip and swim the other way.

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Flippin heck, relax, you’ll pull something with this level of tension.

outerspacepotato · 27/08/2025 22:34

BG2015 · 27/08/2025 20:38

What is it with the people who walk (one woman even does it sideways) half way down the lane, then start swimming 🤷‍♀️ - I just don't get it.

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The ones who hang on the ends of lap lanes gabbing away despite there being other areas for them and lap swimmers swimming and doing flip turns then gabbers getting upset they got kicked or splashed.

Why?

Chumbawomble · 27/08/2025 22:38

I used to be a pool lifeguard/duty manager and wouldn't put up with any entitled nonsense like this. It WAS mostly men who would throw their weight around but the occasional woman would be precious and rude. I would try to sort out the lanes so that everyone was happy but if anyone continued to be an arsehole I would get them out and suggest they went elsewhere.