To think that family holidays are bloody hard work for mothers?!

[Bliss1985]

I’m three days in and I’m shattered.
The mental load of organising everyone, remembering to pack all the stuff for whatever we are doing that day, sun creaming, snacks, referring the kids arguments. It’s bloody hard work is it not?

DH just doesn’t see all the donkey work I’m putting in and thinks he is carrying equal load, and can’t understand why I’m cranky.

@arethereanyleftatall. Did you read this one? There are a few like this.

Ok, I see your point @Hazlenuts2016

but then - isn’t a good idea to talk about this as a society?

otherwise women are drip fed that the expectations for men should be far lower, then marry and pro create with a bloke who doesn’t pull his weight - on the basis that all men are like that?

it isn’t ‘blaming’ the women individually, more blaming society that has led women to believe they should do all the unpaid labour.

there has been a poster on this thread who has said all the comments should have just been to hand hold the op and agree that yes, all men are shit. But what good does that do society, or someone else reading this thread who is on the cusp of marrying, pro creating with someone where she already does all the housework?

@arethereanyleftatall yes in theory. But I don't think its been that kind of debate on here, its been more of a 'well my husband is ace, so you must have poor judgement'. I don't know if anyone has noticed but OP has not been back. She came on here for a bit of a moan and some people have just been very smug in response. Not that people shouldn't celebrate their men if they are happy, but it's been done in a very rub her nose in it way and it really wasn't the right thread for it. Maybe time for another thread for those who do want to talk about how happy they are with their partners.

I think the problem is a lot of men change when they have kids, so while some women may fall for known losers, others marry and procreate with men who are on best behaviour until the first or second baby. Or until the women develops a chronic illness. Or the child turns out to have adhd. Life gets hard and people change. Im sure some women are like that too but it does seem to be more of a problem with men. I mean the YANBU is around 80% on here so that statistic does seem to lean that way.

My oh was crap at parenting. He just didn’t. It was my job. But holidays were as difficult as I wanted to make them . I knew he’d drive the car. But that was it. If you know you get no help, you just choose the right holiday and keep it simple. Kids are easy pleased.