Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

Mine has appeared now!

TBH I would move if a parent and child were distressed unless I had a good reason not to but I would judge them for being cheeky fuckers too.

Agree completely with you and mine are both NT and one absolutely wouldn’t have sat there between two men. She would have 100% had a melt down.

They don’t want to sit next to a child, but neither do they want a shitty middle seat when they’ve booked and paid for the seat of their choice.

What is the matter with your husband?. Horrible!

Why do you think people pay for seats? You do understand there’s reasons for that choice. If I’d paid I would only move if the parents paid me to move, I’m not losing out on money for some strangers. If I hadn’t paid then yeah no problem.

If you want to take control of this for the return leg, then put £100 cash x 2 in your pocket and offer it each person/couple that you want to move.
That will pay back the cost of the seats they have reserved plus give a little incentive. That puts the power in your hands and away from your husband.

I suspect the error was he didn't pay yo select seats and by the time he went to check in there were none left together.

The only solution you really have here is to go online and book a new flight home for yourself and your dc where you can pre book the seats. Then make it very clear to your dh that he is the idiot who messed up the booking, not you and therefore you will be doing all the booking from now on.

People pay for their chosen seats why should they move because the OPs miserly husband didn’t pay for his family to sit together . The only dick is the husband .

This is actually genius and would definitely work

Sounds like your husband has been too dense to notice that booking airline seats has become more complicated recently. Book cheap flights and you get charged to sit together. He’s tried to do it on the cheap previously and got lucky, this time it’s been one half truth after another and by the time you found out it’s too late. In the immortal words of MN you have a DH problem not an airline or other passenger problem, his attitude is what you need to “sort out” before you fly back. I would have put the kids sitting together and promised / bribed them with whatever it took to get them to behave.

Why thank you @ThePure.

If you want to sit with your dc you need to book the exact seats when buying the tickets.

Your dh probably didn't do this.

Making a drama in these situations is never ever a good idea. It could have been a perfectly fine adventure for your 5 year old to sit where they did. You could have visited and made sure he had something to read or do.

How long was the flight?

Your dh sounds awful.

It wasn’t a computer error sadly seating near children is in front of so all of that was covered.
if the lady hadn’t heard of the error then it sounds like it is him - and the fact he won’t give you access wow!

leaving it to 24 hours before creates this issues nothing else (and booking 3rd parties like Expedia)

I would've moved as would not want to be sat next to a crying child, however if I'd paid extra for that seat I wouldn't be happy either! Your dh should've paid if he'd wanted you to sit as a family. Although, tbf, a 5 and 8 year old should be able to sit nicely on a plane without kicking off - and if they can't be trusted pay the extra!

Ha, I love your problem solving skills 👏

This, OP. I paid almost £300 so my kids and I could sit near each other on a long haul flight. If it means that much to you, you need to pay (like the rest if us). After paying through my nose, I would NOT move if requested. It's just not fair that I should pay for seats and then move for someone who has not paid/ organised themselves. Pay your husband next time so you can choose seats, especially as your kids are young.

I am normally quite relaxed but at those ages there is no way I would be allowing children to sit seperately. First time was an error, fine but dh has to understand you want to know this won't happen again. I would want to see checked in seats asap. If he refuses to show me I would be rethinking my relationship and also telling him any problems at airports and you will be booking an alternative flight. (Hopefully doesn't come to that as appreciat more time at airport is not ideal)

You need to tell your H that he needs to book 2x2 sets of seats together at the time he’s making the reservation, otherwise you’re not going. Or book the seats yourself

A very entitled man asked me to swap my paid for aisle seat for a middle seat as his wife, baby and toddler were seated in the first row of the cabin. After he gave me a long and dull spiel about him doing me a favour by swapping seats now to inconvenience me less during the flight, as he would be “helping” his wife with their children … with an expectant expresion, my answer was a firm no. I closed my eyes and went to sleep for the next two hours.

Yes, this. Don't count in last minute seat selection at check-in. PAY and select your seats at the time of booking.

You need to pay for allocated seating on the way back. I am sure you can pay the upgrade but you will need the details from your husband to do that.

Without that not sure what you can do unless you contact the airline now and explain the situation.

Why can’t he log in and do the seat selection for the way home? If he wants to be precious about being in charge of the booking he can be but he needs to sort this out for the return.

It was not a computer error.

Your first problem is you're married to someone controlling and abusive, so why on earth would you want to go away with him again?

Edit: just realised you're talking about the flight home 🤦🏼‍♀️

I fly with Ryanair several times a year and I’ve never once paid for seats - and have always been sat with my DH 🤷🏼‍♀️