Plane seats - refused to swap

[Annoyed321]

please bear with me, I really need to vent but I need advice too.

Holiday with DH, 8 year old DD and 5 year old DS. Our seats were allocated away from each other. Not even on same aisle literally scattered on different parts of the plane. DH books and sorts checking in and I don’t usually get involved. He tried to apparently check in 24 hours before the flight but there was an error (he didn’t tell me), he was unable to check in and was advised online chat to see a member of staff at airport when we were flying, we get to check in on day of flight and lady says she can’t sit us together. I pleaded with her to at least let there be one of us sat with each child, no problem about all 4 of us sitting together.

She said to ask people when we get to the seat if anyone will swap with us. When we got there everyone refused, which I don’t really blame them as they checked in and chose their seats we didn’t or couldn’t.

I got very emotional as my 5 year old was crying about not sitting next to me DH as usual was unbothered and was just standing around looking unfazed. I’m really embarrassed about my reaction but he said it’s fine and I said it’s not fine “I’m not having my kids sat in between strangers”. It wasn’t as dramatic as I’m making out as it was over very quickly as the cabin crew we spoke to on boarding were able to allocate 2 seats together. Myself and my 5 year old took it and DH sat 2 rows In front of DD who was sat inbetween 2 men, DH was also sat between 2 guys so made no difference where I put her.

I was upset the entire flight and kept asking DH to keep an eye on DD, DH kept rolling his eyes and ignoring me. I felt like a bad mother leaving my child sat there with strangers. I feel embarrassed incase anyone videoed me at the start asking/pleading with people to please swap seats to allow me to sit next to my 2 kids. I only asked about 2 people and they avoided eye contact and ignored me, again I get it.

advice: DH is old fashioned (or should say a complete knob) he won’t share the booking details of flight with me as he’s worried I will mess up the booking, like I’m a stupid child! So I need advice please how can I make sure I am sat next to my kids on flight back home? I will need a booking reference I know which I will have to keep asking him for but the holiday was booked via Expedia and I think that’s what messed up when was trying to check in online 24 hours before. How can I check in if flights were booked with Expedia? I will call them if he doesn’t share booking ref but I doubt they will speak to me due to data protection. Any advice please?

Please be kind and don’t make me feel worse than I feel. Can anyone at least relate with me about how upset I was about DD sat alone? I am a survivor of childhood SA so my feelings might be out of place but I also read a news article literally a few days before flight if a 15 year old girl getting assaulted by a fellow passenger during a flight do these things do happen.

I think the ‘error’ might be that there were no seats together left to seat the children because everyone else had paid in advance hence it would not let him book them. He might have just not realised this issue as opposed to being deliberately cheapskate if it’s always worked out (maybe at less peak times) in the past or with more upmarket airlines.

It wasn’t an ‘error on the computer’. It was your husband being tight or stupid or both (or worse even, deliberately creating an event that will make you feel distressed and helpless?). You want to sit next to your kids? You pay. Simple. Yes it’s annoying, but it really is that simple.

You need to pay to reserve your seats if it’s a budget airline (especially Ryan air), alternatively you run the risk of a repeat, most airlines will at least try to seat you together if you log in as soon as check in opens and I’ve never been seated more than across the aisle myself, Ryan air deliberately separates people

you should've paid to book specific seats. You can't throw a hissy fit and expect people to move.

I’m stuck on you describing your husband as “old fashioned”. It’s a lot more than “old-fashioned”… My grandfathers were both born in 1925 and let my respective grandmothers handle travel bookings (and pretty much anything else!) if they wanted to. Do you belong to a particularly strict religious sect? Have you time travelled from the 1860s? I shudder to think how else you are controlled if this is just one example.

Your husband is horrible.
If I were you I would book another flight home without him and pay for you and your children to sit together.

I mean in future. This time she needs to demand holiday details and not move until she gets them.

In fairness to DH, I'm not sure - have never booked on Expedia but I'm sure many others will know - if the "Select Seats" option is available on Expedia.

I know with most 3rd party bookings that you need to acquire the airline locator - which is generally issued once the airfare is paid in full - and then use same locator to bring up the flights and select seats/other extras etc. directly on the airline website.

Ps I’m really sorry you are a SA survivor, makes me even more upset that you are with such a horrible man.

This! Book your own flights home OP and get away from him. Seats are the least of your worries

to answer your question as I don’t think anyone has, Expedia is not the problem. All airline bookings have an alpha numeric code associated with them (something like GHO1CP). You should be able to go to the airline’s website, go to something like ‘find my booking’, use your surname and the code and your booking will come up. It will then say when you can check in etc and perhaps offer to prebook seats.
if your husband won’t give you the booking code, then that is serious problem. I cannot understand anyone being married to someone like that. I usually do all of our holiday bookings and I automatically forward them to my husband so that he has the information too.

Say to your DH you want to go online together to see if you can rebook seats for the return home.

Are you sure that on this occasion he didn't decide to see what would happen if he didn't pay for seat selection?

FAFO?

Op you pay to select seats at point of purchase, whether on purpose or by mistake your husband didn’t do this , it is difficult to do it by mistake. You then can try to check in on line 24 hours before hand and see if you can get any together, you pick from what’s left, which is often very little if any. That’s why no one else moved, not because they checked in, because they paid and they knew you hadn’t. Your husband was unfazed as he already knew.

My OH is similar in that he's like I don't even care about seats. I'm like well you will when the kids start kicking off if they aren't sat with us and it ruins the beginning of the holiday. Anyway I always do the bookings and over ruled him and paid to prebook the seats.

Your H is a dick and so are those people that refused to move. Why would people want to sit with a child if a parent isn’t there??

Even if it wasn't them, I just came here to say

I HATE RYANAIR

From what you say about him and his reaction to the situation don’t you think it’s quite likely that he in fact decided they are old enough to sit alone so he won’t pay the extra any more? You say he appeared unbothered and he has form for not consulting you…

I’ve just come if the flight where all the family were seated apart. They had booked it last minute so didn’t have a choice.

The stewards asked if people minded moving and the two that did got a free drink and snack when the trolley came round.

Goodness knows why it’s always such a drama. Not every seat will be someone’s special chair.

If you book through Expedia you still do all the check in stuff through the airline’s own app or website. Or at least you did last time I use them.

Which airline was it OP? Some, like Ryanair, let you check in up to 30 days in advance. With BA it’s 24 hours. With most airlines you can pay to select seats anytime between booking and check in. With some it’s included but you pay extra for stuff like extra leg room.

Even if you'd been able to check in 24 hours before,it's very likely that you would not have been able to get seats together. You need to pay when you book the tickets to 100% be sure you get the seats you want.

One of his mistakes was waiting until 24 hours before the flight to check in. That used to be the norm, but it online check in opens much earlier now.

Are you already checked in for your return flight? If not, get him to do it NOW (with you there) so you can see the seat allocations. That way, if there are no seats together, you have time to call the airline or Expedia and sort it out.

(for context, I am away now and have known my seat number for outward and inbound travel for months)

No idea why my comment has been hidden!

Or mine! It was perfectly reasonable, with no offensive content, images or brand names 🤷🏻‍♀️

easyJet sat me in row 19 , my 6 year old in row 26 .
luckily she wasn’t bothered , and a man did offer
to swap with her ( she declined ! ) , but now I know there’s no real age limit for them to sit child away from adult .
You pay or take your chance , that’s the bottom line .