MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

Yes, how can people not be able to work out the (very simple) mechanics of washing their under carriage in the shower?

One of MIL's myriad reasons for avoiding a shower was 'that she couldn't wash her feet in the shower'. Baffled, I told her I stood on one leg while soaping one foot thoroughly, then swapped. She looked absolutely aghast and this method had clearly never once occurred to her.

Regardless, she still avoided ever showering or bathing at our house 'as she didn't want to be any bother'. Never occurred to her that sitting in my home for days on end, gently oozing her fusty biscuits aroma into the air and soft furnishings would be repellent bothersome.

I shower at least once a day but I think older people generally need less washing as they’re less active/sweaty (I may be wrong)? I think bubble bath acts as soap so don’t see the problem with that. This is a non issue in my opinion-each to their own! (Unless they stink of course)

To be fair, I can’t wash my feet in the shower like that because I can’t stand on one leg - I have a seat in the shower though.

Excessive bathing and hygiene habits have been shown by science to be quite bad for you and your skin. If you are keeping yourself clean and not smelling bad why are you so judgemental?

I cold shower multiple times a day but only have hot showers once or twice a week. I use shampoo and a scrub on those occasions. Rarely use soap other than that as it dries my skin and makes me itchy.

DP has two showers a week, unless there’s a need, but has a ”stand up” wash every night. My grandparents also did this, and I was brought up the same as a child.

Your MIL washes how she likes. You have no idea whether she washes at the sink, nor indeed is it any of your business unless she smells or is unhygienic and even then it should be a kindness.

Kindness is not something that’s pouring out of your post if I’m being honest OP. Quit the bitchiness. You’ll be a MIL one day, imagine someone posting to the WWW about habits you think are normal and they do differently.

I would be very surprised if the MIL was elderly. I imagine she is most likely to be in her sixties, unless you consider someone in their sixties to be elderly.

I'm with you OP, I think it's pretty gross to not bath or shower for 3 or 4 days. I have one or the other daily. It's not possible to have a thorough strip wash at the sink, what about your feet? How can you soap snd rinse your undercarriage properly at a sink without sloshing water all over the floor? Just not practical.

I also use soap or scrub if having a bubble bath (simple shower gel on delicate areas). Can't imagine just sitting in the water and letting it do it's work.

I’d love to know how it’s possible to wash your back with a flannel at a sink.

I’ve done some experimenting with going without soap/shampoo in the past (found out my body odor is too intense and my hair gets too oily) and while my head had a ‘smell’ to it — that of hair and scalp, basically — I didn’t find that it stunk or smelled unpleasant. It was neutral.

I hardly ever use shampoo on DD’s hair because she hates having water poured over her head, and I very much like the way her head smells. Not quite as intoxicating as her baby days, but something that gives me an oxytocin hit when I need it, nonetheless. I like to smell DH’s head too when he first wakes up, too, though he uses 3-in-1 shower gel.

Sometimes I smell other people’s hair smells in passing and it’s generally neutral as well.

Unwashed scalp/hair doesn't smell remotely neutral to me, the best word to describe it is the good old Scottish 'foosty', with definite 'chip pan' mixed in.

That "neutral" smell is awful to me. I know exactly what you mean, used to smell it all the time when I got the bus to work. Not dirty but not clean and hadn't used any product in their hair. I can almost smell it just thinking of it.

That sounds gross. To be old AND stinky.

Not for me: I want to be old and clean.

Most old people aren't 'stinky'. And there's nothing wrong or gross about being old. There's some awful ageism on here sometimes.

I am old (ish). A previous poster said older people don’t bathe as much. I say that is bullshit.

My MIL is 97 and showers every day. You are right.

Product? What sort of product? I have well cut, oft washed, blow dried hair, I shampoo and condition and never use any product.

I once had a boss with a bo problem and teenagers sometimes can be wiffy even when showering daily. Otherwise I don't think I've ever been able to smell anyone on bus or in the workplace

@Denim4ever you don't know what I mean or you're being rude? I can't tell honestly.
I don't use lots of things but I know what they are. Seems like a weird thing to ask me, genuine query or snarky response?

I don't say anywhere I think people should be using anything or not. I'm making an observation that people who don't, who haven't washed their hair with anything, and use no product, have a distinct smell to me.
If you are 'oft washed' (with hair products I imagine,) it wouldn't apply to you anyway.

You'd go 4 days without a bath or a shower?

Not being rude, I didn't think shampoo and conditioner was product. I thought that meant hair gel, spray etc.

I think newly washed hair smells nice. I don't think I notice if that's there unless im sitting very near someone. Interesting, I guess some people have a better sense of smell

I can tell when I smell, and it’s usually after two days of not showering. I know that I smell worse if I’m not hydrated, really stressed out, and/or eating poorly, and smell better if I drink plenty of fluids, eat well, experience less stress, and if I’m ovulating. If I go longer then two days, DH will say something to me about it. My showering frequency is incredibly irregular, ranging from 2x a day (if I shower in the morning and later sweat a lot or garden) to once every 3 days (if I’m in a depressive episode or insanely busy).

Neither of those words mean anything to me, I’m afraid. Could you choose different ones to convey the same thing?

Well, you could always look them up.

I know exactly what they mean. There’s a very particular musty, stale smell that emanates from people who don’t wash themselves or their clothes enough and that exactly sums it up.

You can tell when you smell to you.

Others may find it unpleasant before that, after all very few folk think they smell but quite a few actually do.