MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

maybe she has a wash? Either way if she doesn’t smell and you are not otherwise concerned about her ability to take care of herself, leave her alone.

I would be very surprised if the MIL was elderly. I imagine she is most likely to be in her sixties, unless you consider someone in their sixties to be elderly.

My guess is the MIL is in her 50s.
OP says she 'bagged' her daughter (assume she means 'bathed') so if the grandchild is young enough to need helping to have a bath, grandma could be quite young.

@Bitesize89 Have these 500+posts confirmed or otherwise your thoughts? You've not been back.

Those saying that bubble bath is soap…it’s not. But then neither is shower gel.

I am not “elderly” (58) but clearly remember a time when people bathed once or twice a week and washed at the sink in between. Nobody died of it.

I can't, but I can wash it very effectively with a sponge on a stick that are easily purchased.

thats what I have. But I use it at the sink and in the shower (and in the bath) as I can’t reach my back to effectively wash it standing in the shower, or standing at the sink?

Surely it would be easier just to step into the shower?

Regardless of where I am standing I can’t reach my back? And in some instances no It’s not easier to step into the shower - I have mobility issues and have to use a bath board if it’s a shower over a bath and I struggle with the lip of a normal shower. At home I have a wet room.

I wish! At the moment I'm recovering from surgery and I'm not allowed to shower, to keep my wound clean and dry. As I mentioned previously in the thread I can have a perfectly effective strip wash at the sink, and my sponge with a handle means I can reach everywhere.

Maybe the OP's MIL prefers to strip wash, for whatever reason. My comments have just been to reiterate that it is possible to keep clean and fresh without showering/bathing.

Personally though, I can't wait to get in the shower as soon as I'm allowed 😁

Is it just me who is a little uncomfortable with a 500 post discussion of the bathing habits of a real woman unknown to us started by another woman who dislikes her?

It moved away from one particular woman almost immediately. This particular bunfight is a MN regular along with shoes on/off, frequency of laundry, the ethics of Botox and whether grey hair is ageing.

I see that. But I also see that the mil’s bathing habits are what will make people click on the thread, and they were discussed for some time. Including her age and her general hygiene. I include myself in this of course.

Alright, I see we are not very cooperative communicators 👍

I would think musty/moudy smells are more likely to come from clothing that didn’t dry properly before being put away, and frying grease smells might just be related to people’s occupation or recent dietary choices. If you spend a long time next to the fryers or in a fast food establishment, you might come out smelling like it.

My mother only washes her hair once a week, so her head always smelled like head. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind it and like the smell of my family member’s heads.

You're the one asking others to use different words because you don't understand the initial ones. 🫣
I agree that you're probably conditioned to the smell and won't notice it like others.

As I said, my DH usually tells me if I stink (and he’s none to shy about it because I have no reason to take offense), but I think I’ve got a pretty good grasp on it because I always agree with him when he does.

When I’m out and about, I often get told that I smell good, but I think that’s more closely related to the shea oil I mix up with a blend of essential oils (vanilla, camomile, agar wood, ozone, petrichor, citrus) and apply to my skin after showering. I have been told it “smells expensive.” There hasn’t been a time when someone’s like, moved away from me in public and I’ve been surprised by it.

Yes, I did ask, because I didn’t understand them, and I wanted to understand what you are saying. Usually when that happens in person, people just politely explain.

Covering yourself in scents can mask underlying odours, clearly.
You do you. ✌️

You always ask people to explain things in different words, instead of you attempting to understand 'new' words?

Not really.

If you feel uncomfortable, don't read it or post.

It's a very common topic on MN- washing bed sheets, showering, washing towels, etc etc.

Yes-washing etc is a very common topic on Mumsnet. Unpleasant speculation about the bathing habits of an individual maybe less so…

She's a dirty stinker that's what she is! Some people's hygiene is just grim.

I agree. There are some really nasty posts such as the one just after yours where the MIL is called a dirty stinker.

Bubble bath is soap.

Bubble bath isn't soap.
Neither is shower gel.

I’ve been saying exactly this since the start of the thread, repeatedly. Nobody cares it seems 🤷‍♀️