MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

One, she may feel uncomfortable bathing in your house, or, may only have a bath once or twice a week and a flannel wash on other days. Common in older generations where getting in and out of the bath can be a real struggle.
Two, she uses bubble bath. Wtf is that, if not a type of soap? Using both bubble bath and then also a bar of soap seems pointless and unnecessary imo, unless you're really grubby. Like, head to toe rugby playing filthy sort of grubby.

But I never take a bath, so I'm no expert.

A lot of the older generation have strip washes at the sink. You wouldn't necessarily notice her having done that, so I think you're jumping the gun a bit. I personally couldn't live like that but as long as she didn't stink the place out then I would just let her crack on. You sound really judgemental.

Not even if you stayed there overnight or for several days?

Every time these threads come up it shocks me how sporadically British people bathe!

You find her gross because she has baths and uses bubble bath? Makes no sense. You are judgemental. Your MIL is fine.

None of your business.

I also don't think it's a big deal that she didn't wash your child with soap.

Soap/showergel is a better option for cleaning without irritation.

It depends. If we'd been active and I needed a wash, I'd wash. But I get very uncomfortable using other people's baths/showers so barring a sweaty day I'd likely wash immediately before leaving and after returning, or plan to have a sink wash, or make an excuse to "go swimming" and use a local gym or similar.

Contrary to the charming PP's insinuations above I have acceptable personal hygiene and don't smell.

To be honest because it's something I dislike so much (I'm similar with other people's loos) I tend to avoid the situation if I can - I wouldn't stay in friends' or families' homes on a visit but would book a hotel or arrive early and drive back the same day so I can have my own bed and bathroom.

Soap is soap. Everything else is a detergent. But they all will clean.

Often people think they don't smell, when actually they are just accustomed to their own smell and others can definitely smell them.

I hope you wash your own knickers.

I can’t believe there are people on this thread who act like it’s normal to not wash/use soap everyday in this weather!

This, I'm really not an anxious person about most things but stripping naked, then getting in a small/confined space, adding slipperiness and being completely vulnerable in someone else's house (or public) is my line in the sand.

There is a reason the shower scene in Psycho was so iconic its held up over 65 years when most horror moments have been forgotten. It plays on a deep primal fear of being trapped and defenseless. Its kind of weirder that some people lack this instinct.

As they age, some people develop vascular insufficiency in the lower legs. It is caused by the valves in the veins failing to push blood back up the body. It results in brown and red/purple discolouration on the skin and in some cases, very dry and itchy skin. If the skin becomes broken it can lead to infections or cellulitis or ulcers, also weeping blisters and the skin becoming leathery.

If you use soap on skin like this it will make the skin more prone to dryness and breaking down.

Don't assume everyone can use bar soap.

Also, an adolescent boy's hygiene needs aren't the same as those of a woman in her late 60s or 70s.

my armpits smell if I don’t physically wash them with soap even if I’m using bubble bath, I wash my whole body whether I’m in the bath or shower
Not my vagina obviously but my vulva, around the bits where my legs join my body and my bum, all with a gentle wash that doesn’t give me a UTI etc
just water isn’t enough for your bum

Jesus wept. Bubble bath IS soap.
And alot of people who only bathe every few days will have a daily flannel wash.
You do realise that even less than 50 years ago most people in Britain weren't bathing or showering daily? Its an incredibly modern custom.
Mind your own business, she clearly doesn't stink or you'd have said.
And i say this as someone who doesn't feel right without a morning shower but everyone is different.

I grew up in the '50s and '60s and Sunday was bath night. Heating water back then was an expensive business. Showers were highly unusual. I only saw them at school where we all had to use the communal ones after PE.

I don't shower every day, and looking back, I don't think my MIL ever showered when she stayed with us, either. But it didn't occur to me to notice at the time.

If she bathed the night before arriving at yours (bubble bath is soap), she will be fine. She may choose to run a soapy flannel over her pits and bits when she washes her face in the morning whilst at yours.
It’s perfectly acceptable and no business of yours.

This has to be the funniest one yet. I highly doubt this is the case for OP’s MIL. She just is content to be sweaty. It’s 30 degrees across vast swathes of the country today, and you’re suggesting it’s normal to not shower?!

I hope you are not suggesting that late 60s is elderly or that everyone of that ages has vascular issues in their legs.

I can assure you that even in your 60s you need to shower regularly and comparing women of that age with boys in their teens is pointless.

The ageism on MN is shocking.

Acceptable to use the same flannel for your face, vulva and bum

And then rinse it out in the sink for tomorrow.

Bubble bath is basically detergent. Soap is not needed as well. Most likely MIL has a daily wash with a flannel as everyone did not so long ago.

People used to live in caves but we've moved on.

I think it's hilarious that so many people think they have to scrub themselves top to toe on a daily basis. A wash at the sink is perfectly adequate if done properly. But all these ads telling us we much spray stinky stuff on ourselves or nobody will love us or want to sleep with us is marketing madness. And don't get me started on the revolting chemical fragrances in laundry products like that Unstopables stuff. Well my theory is that the fumes they emit are largely responsible for the current rise in asthma cases.

If granny doesn't smell then she is clean.

Jesus wept, it isn't really. HTH