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Original poster

MIL bathing habits

653 replies

Bitesize89 · 25/08/2025 06:56

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

OP posts:
BlueJuniper94 · 25/08/2025 07:01

I'm guessing she doesn't smell or your post would have said... so I'm not sure I see the issue

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 25/08/2025 07:02

Does she smell? I wouldn’t bath/shower in someone else’s house unless I really had to, I’d just feel uncomfortable doing so.

Impossiblyme · 25/08/2025 07:02

Some people are squalid.

It’s just how they are. They are blind to the fact that they smell. I can give you far worse examples than your MIL!

ExtraOnions · 25/08/2025 07:02

Why are you grossed out, does she smell?

Lots of people shower everyday … but you don’t “need” to. Unless you are particularly hot & sweaty, you can go a good few days without smelling.

When I was a kid, in the 70s|80s, we got a bath once a week …and if my Dad ran it, you got 2 inches of water, as that’s what they had “in the war”

ramonaquimby · 25/08/2025 07:04

Leave your MIL alone, seems you don't like her much

ExeterTwo · 25/08/2025 07:06

some kids with eczema don't use soap

GreenFrogYellow · 25/08/2025 07:08

I’m with you OP, gross.

Owly11 · 25/08/2025 07:16

It’s none of your business and seems intrusive of you to be talking about it. Does she smell? If not, there’s nothing wrong with her hygiene. And how do you know that she doesn’t do a cloth wash at the sink when she is at yours? Perhaps she is being a thoughtful guest and not wanting to run down your hot water.

NoMoreHotHols · 25/08/2025 07:19

I’m pretty sure the bubble stuff has the same function as soap. I don’t use bubble baths any more but never occurred to me to use soap with what is essentially already a cleaning compound.
I don’t see the issue if she doesn’t smell.

MiddleAgeRageMonster · 25/08/2025 07:21

Her way of bathing wouldn't be enough for me, I am an everyday showerer and would smell and feel putrid by day 3!
As you haven't mentioned it I am assuming she doesn't smell? Perhaps she is discreetly washing at the bathroom sink?
I would have used some form of body wash on my child in the bath but one bath with bubbles in (bubbles are just soap!) won't make your child smell rancid the next day.
I think you are creating a storm in a tea cup, what's the back story? - you clearly don't like MIL

helpfulperson · 25/08/2025 07:21

Bubble bath is a form of soap, have a look at the ingredient lists.

CanterburyRoadBlock · 25/08/2025 07:22

Imagine finding this out about a member of your family, someone you hold dear enough that she is helping bath your children...and you rush to tell the Internet. This post says far more about you than your MIL. you are gross.

Feenduvetcover · 25/08/2025 07:23

I just use bubble bath when I’m in the bath I don’t use anything else. Have I been doing baths wrong? I thought the bubbles were soapy the same as shower gel?

PumpkinScarf · 25/08/2025 07:24

I’m with you OP, some gross people on this thread.

NannyR · 25/08/2025 07:24

Bubble bath gets you clean, doesn't it? Its just a skin friendly detergent, like washing up liquid. I grew up in a house without a shower and we just used bubble bath, none of us were dirty or smelly.

Bodyshopdewberry · 25/08/2025 07:29

But soap gets rid of the bubbles (see supertato if you don't believe me) and bath bubbles ARE for cleaning. Asking her to use soap in the bath and bath bubbles is like washing up your plates with fairy liquid in the water and insisting that you also use a brillo pad. Overkill!

Washing more often wouldn't go amiss but I'm assuming once you have gone through menopause you sweat less??

Maybe she just thinks your bath is awful?

MigGril · 25/08/2025 07:30

Op bubble bath is soap, I've been know to use shower gell as a replacement when I've run out of bubble bath. It does the same thing and has virtually that same ingredients.

I'll also point out that I was a child in the 80's and we where only bathed once a week. We didn't all smell, this modern obsession with showing everyday isn't very good for your skin or the environment as we use to much water.

Ilovelivinginbradford · 25/08/2025 07:32

Not your business unless, unless she actually smells in your house. Each to their own. Lots of people like showers every day (I do) but there's no need to be so judgemental.

TheCosyRain · 25/08/2025 07:32

I only use bubble bath in my nearly 3 year olds baths too. No soap. It didn’t even occur to me to do anything else. She does get a bit of eczema though

InfoSecInTheCity · 25/08/2025 07:34

Bubble bath is soap, it’s basically the same ingredients as shower gel but with more of the stuff that makes foam and less of the stuff that moisturises skin. So she’s soaking in warm soapy water. If you haven’t noticed bad smells then she clearly is clean as smells come from the growth of bacteria. Her method may not be the same as yours but that doesn’t mean she’s unhygienic, it’s perfectly normal for some people to have strip/sink washes and then bathe/shower less frequently.

DD gets eczema and it’s made so much worse with daily baths/showers. We’ve found the optimum is 3 times a week with a daily pits and bits wash at the sink, unless something changes with her skin she will never know the joys of a proper hot bath either because luke warm is as good as she can get without it drying her skin out too much.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 25/08/2025 07:37

Feenduvetcover · 25/08/2025 07:23

I just use bubble bath when I’m in the bath I don’t use anything else. Have I been doing baths wrong? I thought the bubbles were soapy the same as shower gel?

Same! The bubble bath is the soap so why I would use extra?

Twinklewonderkins · 25/08/2025 07:40

I’m not your MIL but I’m the same, never use soap or have showers. I hate showers they make me feel gross (probably sensory) and just have bubble bath. If I had some fancy gel or wash I might use that but it’s not regular.
I’d wash in the sink if I felt dirty and do wash hands ofc regularly with soap.
I have a bath 2/3 times a week but I wouldn’t have a bath if staying with someone a short time ever.
I’ve just got back from a holiday that only had a shower and it was my first in 4 years, still cringing at the disgusting feeling of the shower curtain touching my wet skin ha.
I definitely don’t smell.

PruthePrune · 25/08/2025 07:41

As long as she washes the essential bits daily and doesn't smell, it's no biggie.

LittleGreenDragons · 25/08/2025 07:48

Does she wash herself though? If she does then she is essentially having the same thing as a bath/shower.

Agree with pp, bubblebath is a form of soap.

SouthernNights59 · 25/08/2025 07:49

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 25/08/2025 07:02

Does she smell? I wouldn’t bath/shower in someone else’s house unless I really had to, I’d just feel uncomfortable doing so.

I agree. Some people don't like bathing in other people's houses. You don't know how well she is washing herself (unless you are spying on her).

Bubble bath is what is cleansing her, she doesn't need to use soap as well if she doesn't want to. It's much the same as using shower gel.