MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

My MIL (nearly 70) is exactly the same!! She would stay for about the same length of time and even when offered, has her own towel in her room etc wouldn't bath or shower. Very odd. Doesn't smell though and looks clean and well presented. Maybe we're the weird one!?

Indeed.
And it is quite remarkable how much less your bits and pits smell post-menopause. Once your body stops excreting all those pheromones, it's only stale sweat that really smells - and that can be washed off with water.

Soap is very drying and older skin is drier anyway.

Yes, I'm old. Grew up with a weekly bath and my mum had often used the bath water before me. She'd put the immersion heater on once a week and use that one tank to wash laundry in the sink and run one bath.
When we could afford to heat the water every day, I would have a daily shower but she carried on with a sink wash, enjoying maybe 2 baths a week.

My kids grew up with daily bath as babies or showers when older but I've never really bothered with products when they were diddy.

I don't use soap on my kids until puberty (when obviously they then do it themselves) unless they are particularly dirty. Flannel does an adequate job and keeps them away from yet more damaging crap for the skin to absorb.

They don't bathe/shower every day either 🙀(mainly because kids don't like bathing, I have better things to do and they aren't dirty).

Adults should know how to wash as and when they need it and shouldn't need rules. Hopefully that includes your mother in law.

I just use bubble bath as soap

Growing up as a kid i only ever had baths with bubble bath. There wasn't any cleaning products in the house. My parents didn't even have conditioner. However my parents never smell. As an adult now I have all of the cleaning products and conditioner and my kids are told to use them too. As a teenager I was very sweaty and smelly when I look back. My husbands family are the same. Maybe its just a thing of their ages, im not too sure or possibly a sign of being a little bit poor? Either way I would just let it go for the time she's with you.

If DD is so young that she needs to be bathed by an adult then there’s no reason for her to need bubble bath and soap.
You will dry her skin out and strip it of it’s natural oils.

It sounds as though your bathing habits are way worse than your MILs.

Maybe try minding your own business?

My mother used to only shower every 3 days or so. Now I think it’s daily or every 2 or so days.

She never smelled and used to wash with a flannel in the sink. The disgusting thing was that she would leave the flannel in the sink for everyone else to use 🤢

Ew this is gross!

I don't think a small child needs more than bubble bath although I can't remember what I did with DS.

As an adult my under arms would need more than just bubble bath...I need a bar of soap.

I guess I'll have to accept that in the olden days people didn't bath regularly and that it was fine but in reality this is one of those things (for me) that only mumsnet sees as normal. Unless she is immobile and really elderly I would say it's incredibly unusual to not have at least one bath or shower in three days. Not sure how you'll ever know if she's doing some sort of strip wash or not.

People who font shower or bath everyday and say they don’t smell are kidding themselves. You definitely do!

Why would you use soap with bubble bath? Surely you’ll end up covered in soap laden water. I’m starting to itch just thinking about it.
Do they still make Matey? It was the only thing my mum put in my bath as a child and will even get the bath clean apparently, so definitely no need for soap!

I don’t even buy bar soap, so I must be totally squalid, according to some MNetters. I’m not sure what DD would say if I suggested she use soap as well as a Lush bath bomb.

and if you are using soap And bubble bath, surely they are the same brand. I’ve never seen bubble bath and soap sets being sold.

Anyway, I’m off my daily shower. Later I’ll visit MIL who only has her hair washed at the hairdressers once a week. That deserves a whole thread on its own!

I’m with your MIL. My child is 7 and unless he is particularly dirty, he bathes in the bubbles and doesn’t use soap. I don’t see the need if you’ve had a good soak in bubbles which is essentially soaking your body in soap?

With regards to not showering at your house- have you offered her a towel and a demonstration of how to put the shower on?

I think this is fine. As others have said, we certainly didn’t have daily baths when we were younger so it’s partly a generational thing. My mother only washes her hair once a week, and always has done. I couldn’t do that but it works for her.

If your MIL doesn’t smell, then I don’t see the problem. Lying in bubbles is fine - that’s what I do.

I’m with your MIL. My child is 7 and unless he is particularly dirty, he bathes in the bubbles and doesn’t use soap. I don’t see the need if you’ve had a good soak in bubbles which is essentially soaking your body in soap?

With regards to not showering at your house- have you offered her a towel and a demonstration of how to put the shower on?

My MIL washes every two days and alternates the types of washes. For example, on Monday she'll have a strip wash, a shower on Wednesday, and a strip wash on Friday... etc. She comments on my daily showers when one of us stays with the other, I just smile and nod because I think she's gross.

Presumably she uses shampoo on her hair and DC's hair @Bitesize89 ?

I just used baby shampoo when my DC were small and gentle bath foam in the water. That's all you need.

When I bath, I use bubble bath and hair products. When I shower (much more frequently), I use shower gel and hair products.

I can see your point a bit more if she is not using shampoo.

How do you know she isn’t washing using the sink ? And either way you sound the unreasonable one.

Older people are experts at strip washing because they grew up in a time when houses didn’t have showers. Some didn’t even have baths. My great nan didn’t have a bathroom in her house until 1984.

Why is bubble bath gross? It’s liquid soap 🤷‍♀️

The not showering for 3-4 days - I am with you there - it's gross.
Shampoo - once a week is fine in my book.
Soap along with bubbles in the bath - never even occurred to me! Why would you do that?

So she uses bubble bath to wash herself in the bath ? I see no issues, its really the same as shower gel. What are your worries op or did you want to tell the Internet how disgusting your MIl.is?

Our grandson, 5, is bathed every day but mum never uses soap on him, just plain water (occasional bath bomb). He smells beautiful and has perfect skin. His mum only uses water too and her skin is lovely. She certainly doesn’t smell.

I’m with you OP although seems a minority. Strip wash is not the same as a bath or shower and int he bath use shower gel and body puff things. I wonder if she used a flannel on DD?

Your MIL can’t be that gross if you’ve never noticed a problem before.

You are not superior because of your preference for soap.