Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

One of my brothers is like this—he got banned from the Daily Torygraph comments section for making racist comments! But he's also a loving husband of 40+ years, and a doting father and grandfather; he worked all his life until 3 years ago when he finally retired; he does his share of housework, house maintenance, shopping, and cooking; and he was a dutiful son to our dad while he was alive (mum died decades ago). He has no criminal record of any kind and is totally non-violent IRL. He fully supports women's rights and a woman's right to choose.

And yet he hates Muslims and likes Trump, and keeps sending me racist memes and jokes. So far he's stayed away from anti-semitism; my DH is Jewish so that would mean the end to our relationship.

But he's my brother. It's not the same, I know. You have a shared life with your DH. So here's my advice, for what it's worth: If he is becoming obsessed with these views to the point of talking and thinking about nothing else, tell him this is unacceptable and he has to choose between them and you. Make sure he knows that this behaviour is deeply disturbing for you and why. You might even try to engage him in rational discussion. If that fails, if he won't change—LTB. If your DH is already actively taking part in protests that involve or are likely to involve violence on his part—LTB, same as if he were a member of a football "firm".

Well, yes, that is indeed the point. It isn't about shaky houses, it is what we consider to be fit.

Some people choose to stay married to all sorts of deeply unpleasant men. The ones who choose to leave don't necessarily do so because their marriage are "shaky", they just don't see the point in staying with someone who they can no longer like or respect.

Exactly!
LTB … how utterly ridiculous.

Agreed. Way to show the kids that their differences of opinion won’t be tolerated either and adults can’t resolve conflicts. It’s unbelievable.

Some may be, but what is the reason for so many Albanians and Pakistanis (just to name two countries) fleeing here?

OP, some of these responses are utterly batshit.

Your husband is not extreme far right, he's just outwardly saying what a lot of people are thinking, even what the Labour government is thinking as they try to find ways to curb mass asylum immigration.

Also, over 50% of America voted for Trump. You have to understand that many very decent people would have voted for him. It's hard to get your head around but you can't think that all these millions of Trump supporters are terrible humans?

There's worse things your husband could be saying. Is he kind, a good worker, loving, a good dad, respectful to you and to women? I would just agree to disagree here.

Do you allow your children to have independence of thought or do they have to agree with your opinions?

Exactly!

@SueSuddio Less than 50% of Americans voted for Trump.

It seems like you have to choose absolute celebration of all immigration or absolute hatred of all immigrants at the moment - its so polarising, intense and spoken about all the time. It must be really hard to have the man you love have developed these strong views that you totally disagree with. It must be quite scary, actually. The fact is that all points of view have some genuine points...there are not infinite resources and space and out of all the immigrants coming over, some will do some bad things; on the other hand, most immigrants coming over will work and pay taxes, bring new and exciting things to the country, and most importantly are human beings who deserve a life of safety and opportunities. What would he do if he were born in a country that offered him so little or was so dangerous that he was willing to spend every penny he and his family earned to leave everyone and everything in the hopes of a better life?
I bet he eats in Chinese, Indian and Italian restaurants...he wouldn't be doing that without immigration! And all the British that live in Spain and can't speak a word, spend their time with other ex-pats, in British businesses eating British food...is that ok?
There was a tv show where anti-immigration Brits went to various countries. I didn't see it but I think it really opened their eyes...maybe you could watch that together? At the end of the day, he has a right to his opinion and only you know if it's a deal breaker or not. All the best

It's extreme right wing to assume that immigration is the cause of this change in numbers, without evidence to back that up.

Nothing he’s saying is extreme right wing. The LTB brigade are tuned to the moon.

Didn't seem a problem for numerous men in France recently.

OP, what you are describing sounds like a problem that many of us are having with friends and family members where we fear they are being brainwashed/radicalised into extreme views which appear to be based on misinformation.

if you can find the time to just work through slowly, I cannot recommend this course highly enough https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/logical-and-critical-thinking

It will give you the tools you need to appraise what your husband is looking at, and talk to him about it in a constructive way because this issue is everywhere- people do get pushed into really extreme echo Chambers online and it’s quite disturbing witness, but it’s something we all have to deal with.

if you can’t face doing the course check out something like https://argumentful.com/how-to-critically-evaluate-news-and-media-sources/

Just 2% of asylum seekers were from Albania in the year up till June 25.

I'm a centrist. I dislike all extreme views. But I would like to ask those quick to LTB if they would say the same if he had adopted extreme left wing views?

Leaving somebody does not mean differences of opinion cannot be tolerated.

It can simply mean that there is now a chasm
where shared values used to be.

I would call him out on it each and every time he made a comment . Hopefully his kids will do that too. Silly fool.

He's their father, they're going to bed exposed to his views in any event.

Aaaaaand again - it's not MY language. It was directly quoted from the OP.

She is not in a relationship with her children.

58% were from Pakistan.

Funny you didn't mention that.

.

Also, why are people constantly commenting “I bet he likes going on foreign holidays” and making reference to how he couldn’t eat certain foods without immigration?

Few people have issues with legal migration (and the ones who do are idiots who should realise the contribution that migrants make to our vital services) but illegal entry to the UK is a very real issue that’s presenting all sorts of issues for our wider society.

There's a monumental difference in the two groups. And people promoting the idea that someone with issue over illegal entrants must also hate everyone who isn’t British born, are very often wrong.

Some 90% or so* of those who seek asylum are granted it. But sure, most migrants come from places they aee not at risk.

(*I cba to find the exact figure but it's high)

Ltb