Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

I am, and I definitely would.

You voted Labour though didn’t you…. 👀

Me too.

If you're referring to what the OP posted then I'm not sure we have the same reference point for far right views.

Do you think expressing concerns over illegal migration into the UK, to your wife in your own home, in a democracy, is morally comparable to the horrors women experience daily under government imposed gender apartheid in Afghanistan?

She said that he holds extreme right wing views. And she specifically asked "WWYD?"

I have responded by saying what I would do. Clearly, you would not do the same thing. That's OK. We are allowed to have different moral values and different standards for our relationships. The OP will ultimately make her own decisions.

Your DH is is in the majority. You ask WWYD, I'd get him to help me make a nice breakfast for the family on a bank holiday Monday and then enjoy the day and get on with my life.

He’s allowed to think and have opinions.

He’d just have to have them with someone else who wasn’t so opposed to them.

I’d make no attempt to change anyone’s mind - we’re all entitled to opinions. I just don’t have to live with someone I so adamantly disagree with.

I agree. ^

There are going to be an awful lot of American presidents coming into power in your lifetime.

Hopefully your British marriage can make it through them all

This is one of the best ways to tackle it. I'm rather concerned the number of sisters who seem unaware that this is an issue (right wing propaganda promoted via social media).

Most Americans do not think Trump is great. He's got dismal approval ratings (his answer of course is to call the numbers fake or fire whoever is responsible for gathering the stats). Even if his policies were great for the US (which I'd strongly argue they're not) who in their right mind would support such a downright hostile approach to the US's allies? He is gunning for Europe and we're not exempt. It's fucked up to say he's great unless what matters to you the most is the way ICE is abducting brown people from their cars whilst their families are looking on helpless or salute the rampant misogyny of his administration (check out the videos shared by Pete Hegseth in which his favourite pastors claim it would be great to do away with women's vote). You cannot be a Brit and think Trump's great. I mean, what's in it for us? Zilch.

There is nuance here though. We do have huge immigration issues in the UK that need to be dealt with - asylum seekers should not be staying in hotels and we have to manage the numbers of people in and out of the country better than we are. Prisons are full and we should not be tolerating foreign citizens breaking the law and then being imprisoned at tax payers expense. On the other hand Trump is a revolting racist pig convicted criminal and it is truly baffling he has any mainstream support at all.

You say you don’t have much knowledge of politics. But when he talks to you about these things he cares (and is supposedly knowledgeable) about, is he interested in your thoughts or just treating you as an audience for his ranting? I think that’s crucial and in many ways more important than the beliefs themselves.

He also sounds like an idiot and a racist though and I wouldn’t want to be with someone like that either. If you don’t like him anymore because of his values, leave.

I suppose what I really want to ask is why you don't (I think?) apply this same logic to asylum seeking vs supporting charities abroad?

I think the direct comparison is something like, if a homeless stranger walks into your living room and asks for a room stating that he's already there, and that you therefore have to help him. Meanwhile there are thousands of other homeless people out there in the street somewhere that you haven't met personally and aren't currently literally in your living room. You're not related to any of the homeless people. What's your moral obligation to any of them?

Unless DH has a personality transplant and suddenly decides that men like Trump are great, we'll be just fine.

I am very solidly left wing and abhor these view points but I can accept that these are honestly held views by many people. I think we demonise people with different views to our detriment.

I know a few people who have "come out" recently as trump supporters (in UK!). A couple from the left who support Russia over Ukraine with some bizarre (Kremlin sponsored) rationale and like some of trump's anti NATO stance for example. Another has come to trump from a moderate right position. All are otherwise kind, good people who would never be hostile to anyone and would class themselves as not racist.

I wouldn't cut them off because they vote a different way to me and hold views about how immigration should be handled.

I would cut them off if they were violent or openly supported violence.

OP only you can know how much you can deal with. My worry would be the cult like non-questioning and tunnel vision that I have seen happen (in some activist circles I am associated with but not friends with. Around pandemic some hippy types went on an anti vax to trump highway that was scary). If it becomes like an obsession then that isn't conducive to family life or a healthy relationship.

I don’t see how liking trump makes someone extreme right when over half the US population voted for him? Likewise plenty of people are worried about migration?

I think diversity of opinion is a good thing, we are all entitled to our opinions and it’s interesting to hear where other people come from and what informs their beliefs. People could read what you read and hear what you hear and still have alternative view points. Discussing why you believe what you believe helps create robust arguments. I don’t think living in an echo chamber is healthy for anyone.

I think if your kids hear you discussing your differences in opinion, that is much healthier than growing up with the view that people who think differently are either stupid or evil.

If your life partner converted to Islam and started to express extreme fundamentalist views about how society should be run, would you be happy to stay in the relationship?

It’s interesting that you use this as an example. Through the asylum system and other routes, we have allowed some people to settle in this country with extreme fundamentalist views that are totally opposed to our values as a society. We have allowed in some men that have vowed to take over and violently defeat us. These men are looking to use our democracy to gain power - we already have a number of Muslim mayors, the most high profile of whom doesn’t seem to have much regard for white people.

It seems to be the ultimate arrogance on our part to assume that could never happen.

You only need to look at social media and listen to some of the former Muslim campaigners trying to raise the alarm and warn us. There is a very good reason why 75% of MI5’s case load is trying to protect us from Muslim terrorist attacks. We need to regain control of our borders but every time anyone tries to speak about it they are labelled ‘far right’ like OP has labelled her husband.

but then thats not true democracy, more like im right your wrong, socrates, plato would be disappointed

Absolutely this…: far too many extreme lefties on here giving out ridiculous advice / opinions

There is nothing wrong with expressing concerns over illegal migration, if this is done in a measured and informed way.

But the OP didn't start a thread saying that her dh was expressing concerns about illegal migration, she said that he had got caught up in extreme right wing views.

For me, the expression of extreme right wing views is as unpalatable as the expression of fundamentalist religious views. Both are disturbing and incompatible with my own perspective on the world. And yes, when those views are translated from thoughts into actions, then the results can be utterly horrific.

A proper man whose hero boasts about grabbing women "by the pussy"?

Wake up to yourself.

What about the British girl gang raped by Israelis in Cyrus? Remember her? None of them were convicted.

She said her DH had been expressing extreme right wing views and then described views which aren't at all extreme.

Ridiculous, the ops husband is concerned about the threat illegal migrants pose to women.