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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

434 replies

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

OP posts:
Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:36

Oh and everyone sends their kids to the good secondary school in our town as it's better than the others but then slag off the town it's in!

OP posts:
HerewardtheSleepy · 24/08/2025 19:38

I know what you mean OP. I come from Croydon. The best answer is to adopt a "stuff you" policy, I find.

Needacupofteaandcrackers · 24/08/2025 19:39

Is it a slough ?

AbzMoz · 24/08/2025 19:40

You’ve got a good house and your kids and family are in a good position. If you’re happy there then why would the opinion of old acquaintances mean anything - certainly not to the point of persuading you to move!

smallpinecone · 24/08/2025 19:40

Never mind. You like it and enjoy living there. Other people can have their opinions, but seeing as they don’t live there, it needn’t bother you.

MaryBeardsShoes · 24/08/2025 19:41

Needacupofteaandcrackers · 24/08/2025 19:39

Is it a slough ?

Edited

I was going to ask this!

childofthe607080s · 24/08/2025 19:42

Oh you see it so often - my old home town ( and still have family there ) often crops up on here as a place to avoid - I feel quite insulted. It’s perfectly good, nice people and you don’t pay for the name / brand.

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 19:43

In general I cannot stand and always try to challenge when posters are talking about property, usually in terms of property prices or moving somewhere to afford property, a place will be described as a shit hole or shitty area, basically if its not the naice parts of SW London, no further out than zone 2 of course

This particularly applies to the Midlands or the North (generic North of course)

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 24/08/2025 19:43

People like that are very very odd.

They also glorify supposed naice towns that when I’ve visited are either expensive thinly veiled shitholes or just plain boring.

Whereas some of the towns with “bad reputations” - off the top of my head, Bradford - are some of the most stunning, welcoming and well kept towns/cities in the UK

Dont feed the trolls, and enjoy your hometown!

KilkennyCats · 24/08/2025 19:44

If it has such a negative reputation, it’ll likely be for a good reason.
You being personally happy to live there won’t change that.

ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat · 24/08/2025 19:44

HerewardtheSleepy · 24/08/2025 19:38

I know what you mean OP. I come from Croydon. The best answer is to adopt a "stuff you" policy, I find.

I know nothing about Croydon (I’m a true northern and I have no idea what happens below Manchester 😂) but I do know Romesh Rangantahan is from there and I automatically love it for that reason!

FenderStrat · 24/08/2025 19:45

Come friendly bombs...

OnePinkDeer · 24/08/2025 19:47

We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

Even Slough has more than 3 cafes.

Is it Tonbridge?

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 19:47

Try living in the NE! Had lots of snobbery from southerners over the years. They’re clueless.

Pouffele · 24/08/2025 19:48

Is it Bradford?

UnrealCity · 24/08/2025 19:50

Ignore them! It sounds like you're happy there so who cares what anyone else thinks!

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 24/08/2025 19:52

Stevenage?

OnePinkDeer · 24/08/2025 19:53

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 19:47

Try living in the NE! Had lots of snobbery from southerners over the years. They’re clueless.

Clueless about what. Id never want to live in the NE. Having a preference about a place doesn't make someone clueless.

Hepzibar · 24/08/2025 19:56

Rochdale

MegaMinion34 · 24/08/2025 19:57

I know what you mean OP. I live in a town that has an unsavoury reputation in other towns (people often grimace/pull a face when I say where I live) but it really isn't that bad!

hangerup · 24/08/2025 19:58

I know nothing about Croydon (I’m a true northern and I have no idea what happens below Manchester 😂) but I do know Romesh Rangantahan is from there and I automatically love it for that reason!

He's from Crawley not Croydon

CeciliaDuckiePond · 24/08/2025 19:59

Pouffele · 24/08/2025 19:48

Is it Bradford?

Bradford is a city, not a town.

Theonewhogotthecake · 24/08/2025 19:59

I was going to ask if it’s Croydon?

Senuousnotsensuous · 24/08/2025 20:00

Is it Barrow-in-Furness?

I wondered from your description saying that it’s the worst town in a pretty area and the rest of your description also matches.

HairyToity · 24/08/2025 20:00

I have experienced similar, with our town in North Wales, I leave them paying their expensive mortgage for their expensive area, I'm perfectly happy with our life choices.