To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

A little “post-industrial” is one of the the most condescending phrases ever!

I couldn’t agree more about the friendliness of the East Midlands!

We’ve recently moved away from one of those places mentioned above. I’m glad we have.

I’m nosey and want to know where. I live in the SW and moved from the North but ended up back where I lived as it is a lovely town. Has a huge house with acres and acres though and now a reasonable size house but much much smaller.

I would reply with ‘we love it here - lovely thriving community’ and roll your eyes.

Ooh I really like Coventry! City centre has come on loads and I love Earlsdon, it's where my DH lived when I met him.

Some of my in laws are very snobby though and I deliberately refer to Kenilworth and Warwick as Coventry and they do not like it at all if I miss the Royal off Leamington Spa :-)

The judgement of other people will always make you feel rubbish. People always like to make themselves feel better than you, regardless of what it's about!

I grew up in a very nice village that is horribly close to such a town. As nobody had ever heard of the village where I grew up (apart from people who lived there or nearby, obviously), we were lumped in with THAT town. I was mortified whenever anyone said, "Oh, you grew up in X town, then? Eww!" and people would look down on me as scum after that. Needless to say, I was determined to move away, preferably to a very nice area that any future children wouldn't feel ashamed of! I now live in such an area, and only feel mortified if I have to show my passport or birth certificate (which lists THAT town).

I appreciate that such towns can have nice, affordable housing, good amenities and lovely people, but life is much easier when you can get away with saying where you live and nobody gets wide-eyed and goes, "You actually live there? Is it really as bad as they say in the papers?"

Saying that, though... it's easier to not think about the judgement when you only really socialise with people from the same area as where you live, because they don't mention it!

Bewdley?

As long as its not jaywick I think your good (just joking ive never been there its not featured favorable on tv though)

Well to be fair, most of the Midlands, particularly the East Midlands, are shit!

Herne Bay?

Much nicer beach than Whitstable if so. 😅 Wherever it is.... try to ignore them. Just be smug in the knowledge that you're happy and financially better off. Point out all the advantages to them if it makes you feel any better. In a way it's a backhanded compliment- they think you're 'too good' for the reputation of whatever town it is. But it's just their own snobbery and prejudice showing.

There's a lot of freedom in living somewhere less 'nice.' Not as much pressure to keep up with middle class neighbours. And more space for your money makes a massive difference to your children's lives.

The place I live in was in the news recently as one of the worst places to live in the UK! I can't understand the benefit of doing shit like that - it's so disheartening to people who live in the area and such an insult.

When we first moved here, about 13 years ago, DH's boss looked down her nose at our choice of location - it turned out she lived right on the edge of the town, technically over the border, in the 'nice' area. What a dickhead.

Joke's on everyone else, because due to the reputation of the place we managed to buy a very decent house for absolutely nothing, do it up, sell it, then buy and extend another house. We now own a large 4 bedroom house mortgage-free. We'd never ever have been able to do that in the 'nice' part of town.

It's quiet, with great parks, fantastic public transport, close to a lovely town centre. The secondary school is amazing. The attitude towards it is pure snobbishness. If others want to pay £100k+ to live a few metres down the road - good luck to them, I hope they find it's worth it.

Yet I live in a ( perfectly ordinary)town where people from the next town call us snobs simply because it isn't a shithole

Im from Bedford originally and everyone looks down on it second to Luton but I have very happy memories of my time there in the 60s to 80s.
I live in Somerset now.

I know exactly what you mean OP. We moved to the only area we could afford when we first got together, then had DCs here and have lived here ever since (20 years). In that time the reputation of the area has gone from shithole to highly desirable.
The things is, I loved it then as much as now. It’s always been a good place to live. The downside now is the silly ‘farmers market’ with ludicrously priced sourdough and coffee. Just live where you like and where you can afford and be proud you are living within your means. I don’t envy anybody who moved anywhere because it’s ’the place to be’

Do what you can to stop it affecting you, easier said than done but if your family are happy and thriving then stuff the rude snobs.

They sound the same - easy to get confused 🤣

Hello @ClearFruit . I hear you! I love our part of Coventry. I grew up in a small Warwickshire market town but it was deathly as a teenager. Stuck with very limited rural buses and reliant on lifts from parents. My DC have had many more varied opportunities by living in Coventry. I made a choice to live here having lived abroad and in south London in my twenties. It makes me chuckle that our 3 bed semi with a big garden is worth more than 3 bed semis in the naice Warwickshire market town I grew up in, which ironically is seen as more desirable.

Just wondering if other countries have this town snobbery, which strikes me as particularly British (or maybe just English, as it does seem to emanate from London). It seems that nowhere is really acceptable to the supreme snob, and reminds me of 'Yes, but not in Bethlehem'.

Which bits do you actually know? Or are you joking?

I am in the East Midlands, thanks for your predjudiced dismissal of a whole area. Doubtless you live in an earthly paradise

Is it between junctions 10-17 of the M4 ?

In general I cannot stand and always try to challenge when posters are talking about property, usually in terms of property prices or moving somewhere to afford property, a place will be described as a shit hole or shitty area, basically if its not the naice parts of SW London, no further out than zone 2 of course

I always challenge the "you can't buy a house in London for less than a million". You can, even in respectable parts.

I’ve lived in a few places that have regularly made ‘20 shittiest places to live’ and been featured on this list! The town I live in now is apparently a shit hole but I love it. I’ve also lived in nice places that people tell me would be amazing to live in, they’re not.

The place you are in works for you and your family. That’s great and you benefit from cheaper housing. Other people will always think your town is a shit joke but you’ll also think other towns are shit holes. If it works for you, that’s all that matters.

We were on holiday for cornwall many years ago when tiny DD started playing with another little girl and sharing her toy. All very sweet.
Started chatting to parents, all very nice, we talk about our holiday, jobs, all professionals etc.
Then they asked where we came from (it’s in the NE) and we might have well said we were ate children for the way they reacted. Like they were going to catch some awful northern disease from us.They actually made their excuses and left!

Margate or Bournemouth?

I went there last week. It's definitely still full of drugs and crime and really run down.
Did not look trendy!

Why get involved in other peoples snobbery? They aren't living your life

My own ruddy mother walked into our front door door two days after we moved into our first bought home and first words out of her mouth were " why on earth did you buy this shit hole? "

Two years later she was finding every excuse under the sun to come stay

What other people think or say is none of your business, nowt to do with you.

You get on and live your best life