Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

434 replies

Beboopbadoopie · 24/08/2025 19:35

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 24/08/2025 21:41

Absentmindedsmile · 24/08/2025 21:34

Jaywick? Essex

My first thought but I'm not sure it's known outside East Anglian area!

Reignonyourparade · 24/08/2025 21:41

Luton?
Gosport?

I'm from one and lived in the other.

People have no idea.

imfabul0us · 24/08/2025 21:41

bumbaloo · 24/08/2025 21:23

I’m not from the UK so I have no skin in the game. I have to say, I hear far more anti southern rhetoric from northerners than anti north from southerners.

northerners seem fixated by it

Totally agree with this.

Chrestomanciscat · 24/08/2025 21:42

Is it stoke?

Kindling1970 · 24/08/2025 21:44

TennisLady · 24/08/2025 21:26

I have to say it’s completely the other way round from my own personal experience, strange you’ve heard otherwise.

I find it both ways. I’m from London and people are really dismissive of the North and have a ‘why would I go there’ attitude but found when I lived in the north people were really shitty about London, not other parts of the south. I totally get it as London gets SO much more investment and it’s not fair.

MidnightMusing5 · 24/08/2025 21:44

Rugby?

ilovesushi · 24/08/2025 21:45

People are just plain rude and ignorant if they are snidey about where you live. If they are genuinely curious about why you chose to live there, there are so many ways they could ask you without making you feel rubbish. I would be tempted to say something like "It must have been a long time since you visited, because we really love it." Doesn't work so well if you are both in the town at the time though! To be honest, I would probably want to say "Were you always this rude?"

Captcha4903 · 24/08/2025 21:45

Reminds me of that Warren Buffet quote about "only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked". Living in a cheper area and not having a massive mortgage can be a positive when bad times hit...

Ineedanewsofa · 24/08/2025 21:48

Waving to @ClearFruit and @Covsouth I’m very fond of my adopted home city however “gritty and unfashionable” it may be (according to a couple of snobs acquaintances). Our London friends are always amazed by a) how quickly they can get here and b) how much house we got for our money.
@Beboopbadoopie I totally understand how wearing it is to have people be sniffy about where you call home but if you are genuinely happy and have a good quality of life then the joke’s on them.

summershere99 · 24/08/2025 21:50

I get this too as we moved out of London to somewhere we could actually afford to buy a house. It gets ribbed an awful lot and yes there are some sketchy areas but it’s also also a really great place for families, good facilities, good job opportunities, a lot of trees, parks and green spaces and 5 minutes to lovely villages and the countryside. I used to miss London a lot but having being back recently and hated how claustrophobic I felt, the parking, the traffic, the lack of space, it just felt so crowded and busy… and I had a friend from London say ‘but there’s nothing to do there ( where we live),’ which made me laugh because there is a lot more to do where we live than where she lives, unless you want to travel 35 minutes on the tube. Which is exactly the same time as it takes us to get into London!

So a lot of people’s opinions are down to ignorance and snobbery… and best ignored.

Squishymallows · 24/08/2025 21:51

Is it in Wiltshire…

is it Trowbridge or Chippenham?

Doyouthinktheyknow · 24/08/2025 21:52

soupyspoon · 24/08/2025 21:17

Margate or Bournemouth?

Neither🤣

I genuinely love Margate though, it’s where we go regularly for nights away but we live somewhere infinitely less interesting and much smaller with a pebbly beach!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 24/08/2025 21:53

Missing the point completely here, but Strood?

Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 21:54

I do sometimes wonder if there's anywhere in the UK that's immune to this negativity? I'm looking to move back to England, London home counties, and am struggling to decide where because of this

Anything I should know about Burford or Marlow?Grin

PinkSun9 · 24/08/2025 21:56

Wolverhampton
Dudley
Tipton
Some dismal towns in the Midlands.

Theresagutinmycrack · 24/08/2025 21:56

The guess the area people are incredibly tedious 🥱

JustPassingThruHere · 24/08/2025 21:58

My MIL gets so offended when her DB says she lives in the slums. She lives in the middle of Leicester in a terrace since 1970s which they haven't even maintained and, as bad as the city is, their house is the worst on the street.

Should we all feel compelled to lie how about how unsafe we feel for visiting and how upset we are she lives there while drug dealers deal drugs from push bikes outside of their beautiful, original bay window?

Their house could be wrapped in 24k gold and I wouldn't live there. She's happy, great, but lots of people are happy to have less for their own reasons. We don't have to lie with or for other people, though!

Maybe she's offended because she knows it's the truth she chose and others can't just be blind to it to validate her choice for her?

Twiglets1 · 24/08/2025 21:59

Needacupofteaandcrackers · 24/08/2025 19:39

Is it a slough ?

Edited

I thought that straight away.

Just embrace it @Beboopbadoopie

My friend lives in Croydon and always refers to it as "sodding Croydon".

IHaveRunOutOfIdeas · 24/08/2025 22:00

Hepzibar · 24/08/2025 19:56

Rochdale

Ouch 😂

Twiglets1 · 24/08/2025 22:00

Itiswhysofew · 24/08/2025 21:54

I do sometimes wonder if there's anywhere in the UK that's immune to this negativity? I'm looking to move back to England, London home counties, and am struggling to decide where because of this

Anything I should know about Burford or Marlow?Grin

Burford and Marlow very posh.

SouthernNights59 · 24/08/2025 22:02

Why do you care what other people think? If you like living there, it suits your family, and you are happy then just ignore everyone else.

The day I would think of moving because of negative comments from others is the day that will never come, because I couldn't care less.

Theresagutinmycrack · 24/08/2025 22:05

JustPassingThruHere · 24/08/2025 21:58

My MIL gets so offended when her DB says she lives in the slums. She lives in the middle of Leicester in a terrace since 1970s which they haven't even maintained and, as bad as the city is, their house is the worst on the street.

Should we all feel compelled to lie how about how unsafe we feel for visiting and how upset we are she lives there while drug dealers deal drugs from push bikes outside of their beautiful, original bay window?

Their house could be wrapped in 24k gold and I wouldn't live there. She's happy, great, but lots of people are happy to have less for their own reasons. We don't have to lie with or for other people, though!

Maybe she's offended because she knows it's the truth she chose and others can't just be blind to it to validate her choice for her?

Be proud of where you live. Sweep the front, clean the windows. It’s old fashioned but why not. Why does someone else’s poor standards have to bring us all down.

TwoBeeFrank · 24/08/2025 22:05

Small minded snobs. Ignore them.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 24/08/2025 22:05

Is it Bridgwater or Shepton Mallett? Well known for being the shitest towns in Somerset.

NuovaPilbeam · 24/08/2025 22:05

Is it wycombe

Maybe not actually. More than 3 cafes there