To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

I moved from west London to Dudley. For the same reasons as you.

People have been vile about it. “Joking” that they can’t come to visit incase their car gets nicked. One did come and visit and had her nose in the air the entire time. I introduced her to a couple of lovely friends I’d made here, and she commented, “oh wow, they are so normal. I thought they would be off a council estate with no teeth.”

I mean, it’s not the greatest place in the world, it’s a shithole. but at least I’m not working myself to the bone anymore to pay rent or a massive mortgage (we would never have been able to buy where we were). We can live on one wage, in a home we own and renovated, and actually do stuff and go on holidays.

However I live in Cornwall and Mumsnetters appear to hate it…every inch, town and country. No idea why. I’ve lived all over the Uk and every place has its charms along with its disadvantages. We should all stop judging each other in truth.

It's Gosport, isn't it? Tbf, that is a shit hole.

That said, stop caring about what anybody else thinks! You're happy, your family is happy. Other people's opinions are irrelevant.

My DH grew up in a very rough part of London that has gentrified beyond belief. One of my snooty colleagues from Surrey used to say "I can't believe you ever visit him, it's so dangerous", "obviously the family home is big because it's cheap & no one wants to live in a dump", etc. House is worth nearly 2mill now...

I’m not from the UK so I have no skin in the game. I have to say, I hear far more anti southern rhetoric from northerners than anti north from southerners.

northerners seem fixated by it

Yes I'm sick of this too....

I live in a "rough" town that's been named on this thread. Is it a wonderful, amazing place 100% full of community-minded, salt of the earth citizens? No. But only I and other people who live here are allowed to criticise it. Other people doing so are rude snobs. Luckily, it's big and well-connected enough to be able to mostly avoid the worst bits and the people who make them awful.

I have to say it’s completely the other way round from my own personal experience, strange you’ve heard otherwise.

Yes because all of UK is a third world country so no need to feel victimised by your personal town.

Good neighbours and good schools. The most important thing when you are bringing up your family.

Livingston?

Hope you can keep them clueless, you really don't want them deciding to buy all the houses there as holiday homes!

I live in an ex mining village in the North East. The village is lovely and only 9 miles from the city where we lived prior to moving here. We bought a new build and our house by the same builder was almost £150 cheaper than in the city. There’s good and bad wherever you are and to pay £150k extra for a postcode is insane.

Jaywick? Essex

Tell me about it! 🤣 I've lived in Luton, beautiful brand new council flat as a recruited teacher, then Bradford to buy a cheap house as giving up work to have a baby (that's what we did then), then Milton Keynes to get promoted (roundabouts pariah), now Hull as retiree (village outside). I loved them all, still do. Continually defended them to others, follow all the football teams. All are wonderful. Every town/city has it's poorer parts, it's often the north v south sections. You can live in an upmarket area but there will be streets where scallies congregate.

I moved to Bedford a little over 20 years ago, and I’m always slightly mystified about the negativity towards it as a place. But then again, I was born in Keighley - so I should be used to that type of attitude by now!

The thing is, Margate is a shithole. Just because some people have decided it’s cool and trendy doesn’t make the water free of sewage or the original locals pockets more gentrified. So what you get is expensive shit and influencers 🤢

I was coming on to say Hounslow too😬

Thatcham?

I’ve not been there in years, and I wasn’t left with a great impression, but it definitely is trendy. Probably because young people are priced out of London, and are looking for places commutable and more affordable. It attracts the hipster type of young professional who are a bit ‘edgy’, similar to Margate.

Ya beat me to it!

It’s funny because I often find the posh towns incredibly dull. I live in the south west and have been to Dartmouth once as there’s nothing there and nowhere decent to eat. I also used to live near (but not in Hampstead) and the food options sucked.

I always like the feeling of other people not wanting to live where I live because it keeps the area quiet, it’s cheaper to live in and I can enjoy it free of tourists or crowds. If I were you I would nod and smile and agree with them meanwhile knowing that you have a better lifestyle than they do and they don’t even know it.

@Beboopbadoopie Thinking of setting up a website to promote how much good stuff is here to help change it's reputation!

Don't do that unless you want to sell up and move away, or your lovely town will be inundated with people who will change it.

I agree, it’s full of influencers and not my type of scene but I know lots of people who visit Margate now who wouldn’t have done 10 years ago. There are much better restaurants, cafes etc there too and general ‘quirky’ things. But I won’t be moving!