Fucking fuming - child maintenance review

[aremenreallysuchcunts]

Got child maintenance review today. DC dad declared he earned £13,248 last financial year. He claims he works 6 days a week and is always late picking dc up due to work and works every weekend even the Saturdays he has dc. He owes £1254 in arrears via the cms and £2500 from before I applied to the cms (obviously I have written that off) so now I get the princely sum of £29.30 a week but not before cms have taken their 4%.
is this a joke? How do men like this have no shame? I know there is nothing to be done I am just venting. I have never included his money in my budget thank god but that doesn’t mean I don’t need it! I work full time and I work hard but why do men think this is ok? Why do the girlfriends think this is ok? Why do the father’s parents think this is ok? I have 3 boys and no way would I be congratulating them on avoiding maintenance.
Oh, and he’s a plasterer 🤣
Fucking patriarchy.

That only works if the house is mortgage free and is sold. . How can the ex "give" the 175k to the RP in a way they can actually use it to buy food and clothes?

It is disgusting.

However, one of my friends was fine with her partner claiming that he hardly earned anything as a Self Employed contractor, paying very little tax, until he left her and their DC. Then she was furious that he continued to submit the same returns which meant he paid bugger all in child support payments.

Some men are shits.

This was posted on the other thread I started (I know that’s a no no!) Why couldn’t this work?

All these comments about getting married before having children! I was married, however in order to divorce and get maintenance settlements you need money and time for a lawyer.
I personally don't, and don't qualify for legal aid so I'm not sure how being married is somehow an advantage?!

You can report him to HMRC and they give rewards.

https://www.gov.uk/report-tax-fraud

I haven't been in this position but it makes me furious. Who's up for writing to their MP to argue the point? I'm sending the below...my MP never bloody listens but she should read this even if she won't do anything

[MP’s Name]
[Constituency Office Address]
[Postcode]
Dear [MP’s Name],
Re: Urgent Action Needed to Enforce Child Maintenance Payments
I am writing as a concerned constituent to highlight the ongoing crisis surrounding unpaid child maintenance in the UK and to urge you to support reforms that ensure children receive the financial support they are legally entitled to.
At present, far too many children are growing up without adequate financial contributions from one parent, often their father, due to failures in enforcing existing laws. According to government data, billions of pounds in unpaid child maintenance remains outstanding, leaving thousands of single-parent families struggling to cover basic costs like food, school uniforms, and housing.
While the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) exists, many parents exploit loopholes, hide income, or simply refuse to pay. This is not only unfair to the parent who shoulders the financial burden but, more importantly, deeply damaging to the welfare of children.
I believe we urgently need cost-effective, practical reforms to strengthen enforcement, such as:

1. Automatic Deduction from Income – Where a paying parent repeatedly fails to pay, deductions could be made directly from salary or bank accounts without lengthy delays or repeated CMS interventions.
2. Linking Non-Payment to Credit Ratings – Failure to pay child maintenance should negatively impact credit scores, applying pressure while avoiding costly legal processes.
3. Fast-Track Court Orders – Simplify the process so that persistent non-payers can be brought before a magistrate quickly, reducing administrative costs.
4. Better Data Sharing – Allow HMRC and CMS to automatically share information on earnings, dividends, and savings, making it harder for individuals to hide income.

These measures are not only fair and proportionate but also cost-efficient, reducing the long-term strain on government support systems while ensuring that children receive the help they need. I am considering starting a petition to demonstrate the depth of public concern on this issue. With widespread support from parents across the country, I believe we could create significant momentum for legislative change. I kindly ask you to:

• Raise this matter in Parliament
• Support stronger enforcement measures
• Back proposals to modernise the CMS and protect children’s rights

Children should never have to suffer because one parent refuses to meet their responsibilities. By improving enforcement, we can make a real difference to families like mine and many others across the UK. Thank you for your time and for representing our community. I look forward to hearing your views on how you intend to support parents and children affected by this ongoing problem. Yours sincerely, [Your Name]

I really hope that comes back to bite him when he tries to get a mortgage.

It's utterly disgusting

If Universal credit can now monitor accounts and you have to literally tell them what you spend your money on during a review (I literally had to explain each time I took cash out of my own bank and why I spent a certain amount in a furniture shop 🤦) then why the fuck can't they do the same with men that don't pay CM?!

They should have their accounts trawled through and asked about every penny

And if UC can take over payments straight from your bank then so should the CMS

It's a bullshit system that if it were women refusing to pay men as much as men refuse to pay women then it would already have been sorted by government

it was just back of the envelope idea.

if there is the £175k equity, if the rp does not have to buy the ex out then they will save considerably on the mortgage payments- so that frees up a fair bit of cash for food etc.

if I had to remortgage and buy dh out, my mortgage payments would double. I would rather let him walk away from any claim on the house in exchange for maintenance than have a big mortgage hanging over me.

i suppose it would work best in London/se and other expensive places where a 3 bed is half a million or whatever. You can’t downsize to release equity, and paying a mortgage on your own would be crippling.

This is what should happen in England too, or it’s linked to their passport so it’s flagged when they leave the country and have to pay.

It would sure cut down on the benefits bill.

That’s absolute bullshit!
The majority of men want kids - but once the children are here and the attention goes off them and the wife is knackered all the time the men disappear and want to forget they ever had a family !
Oddly most of these so called men then date women with kids! Crazy!!

Excellent. Have bookmarked to copy and send

The girlfriend and the parents don’t care because you will have been painted as some kind of greedy money grabbing cow who’s made his life a misery and is a total psycho. And they will have taken all of that in Hook line and sinker. If he was anything like my ex, instead of the reality will be that he was something like an alcoholic, a cheat, a bit of a layabout etc

I’m sadly we have a system that people can choose just to ignore or play and there is very little consequence if there in a role that means they can hide earnings in any kind of way

I get £170 a month for 2DC. He was earning £60k ish before we split, when we divorced he dropped his income to £10k a year via his limited company fiddling.

He’s just taken DC plus new wife and DC on £10k holiday.

Luckily I’m a high earner but I’m putting both DC with SEN through private school. He doesn’t pay a penny extra.

I also suspect he collects child benefit and used that to pay me.

It’s grim.

@TiredThursdaycan I steal that?

You couldn’t make this shit up but at the start of the year when ex wasn’t even paying the pennies to cms that he was supposed to I asked cms what they were going to do about it. They told me it would go to their debt collection department and they impound his vehicle (if they catch him) and go to his registered address to seize goods. then they admitted they have no bailiffs till this September because the govt didn’t renew the contract so they were backed up. They literally had no one to enforce anything.

I had a phone call yesterday with the DWP regarding my UC claim, which lasted nearly an hour. I have no problem with this. They had 4 months worth of bank statements which they’d been through with a fine toothed comb. Asked me about several transactions including some money my mum gave me to fix some issues in my house, and also a few quid that showed as an incoming transaction from Vinted - which was a refund from a purchase I never received.

Like I said I have no problem with this as I have nothing to hide. I have no problem with working the hours I need to, to support my children.

But why is my ex allowed to get away with not working hardly at all? Why was it just accepted that he was on benefits and couldn’t pay? Why can’t someone from the DWP call him and interrogate him about his salary and bank accounts as he isn’t paying child maintenance which he is supposedly required to by law? Why is the onus always on the RP to work as many hours as possible but also not too many because of their childcare responsibilities? Why is it expected of us alone to do everything?

Oh wait, I know the answer, it’s called misogyny.

OP I’d be more than happy to try and help change things. I wish I knew where to start.

My husband pays child support to his ex wife. He doesn’t get to declare his income they base it from figures from his employer. How has your ex gotten that deal ?

I don’t understand how she can encourage him not to pay, how would she feel if it was her in your situation and she was struggling. It’s not right at all.

I don’t know what good it would do, but could you maybe start a petition on the gov website about this? If anything it could at least bring it to their attention and give them food for thought. I think the whole maintenance system here needs to be looked at, especially with self employed parents who earn way more than they declare. They just get away with the bare minimum. It’s totally unfair. I’m sorry you are having to go through this x

@cadburyegg
you’re on my list. We will try our damndest to change things. I am not stopping on this.

It sounds like he needs reporting to HMRC if he is hiding income. He probably isn't paying enough tax. The CSA should at least compare notes with income reported to HMRC in tax returns. It sounds like many of these guys need a full tax investigation.

Fab idea - didn’t think about that. Adding that to my list of things to do

Writing to your MP is your best bet.

You just have to search Facebook to find there's loads of women who think their partners shouldn't have to pay, there's actually a few Facebook groups about how to avoid paying child maintenance, they are FULL of women, it amazes me people think women are better!

It's such a no brainer. Joined up work with HMRC/UC and CMS. Probably find loads of tax dodgers lift some children out of poverty and boost the economy! If anyone does start a petition please post it on this thread. I'm emailing my MP now...

He's self-employed and pays himself the minimum wage. The rest is taken as dividends, which are taxed differently.
All above board.
Or he gets paid cash in hand for most work, which isn't above board.