Fucking fuming - child maintenance review

[aremenreallysuchcunts]

Got child maintenance review today. DC dad declared he earned £13,248 last financial year. He claims he works 6 days a week and is always late picking dc up due to work and works every weekend even the Saturdays he has dc. He owes £1254 in arrears via the cms and £2500 from before I applied to the cms (obviously I have written that off) so now I get the princely sum of £29.30 a week but not before cms have taken their 4%.
is this a joke? How do men like this have no shame? I know there is nothing to be done I am just venting. I have never included his money in my budget thank god but that doesn’t mean I don’t need it! I work full time and I work hard but why do men think this is ok? Why do the girlfriends think this is ok? Why do the father’s parents think this is ok? I have 3 boys and no way would I be congratulating them on avoiding maintenance.
Oh, and he’s a plasterer 🤣
Fucking patriarchy.

I'd say he's not officially registered there then - makes no sense otherwise.

Do they have kids? Does she? Does she work?

I understand where you're coming from but I don't think we should be giving the "I'm not paying to fund your lifestyle" any traction at all, doing so gives the impression this is a wide spread problem and the root issue of why so many absent parents just don't pay, it gives validation to that argument when it needs shutting down as an excuse for non payment, because as I said in a pp, I don't actually think it's a serious attitude, as in people genuinely believe that, it's bitterness because they're being prevented walking away from their responsibility scott free.

My son was born in 94
I was one of the original Child Support Agency claimants
believe me you are wasting your time and energy
nothing - absolutely nothing has changed in the past 31 years 😂

save your energy and put it into something more positive

The only way it will change is if the punishments are harsher

so child support owed. - not paid put credit file as a debt so they can’t buy that nice car or get a mortgage or rent a new house with the new partner

passport / licence blocked so they can’t travel abroad on holidays with new family / partners stag do

that the state pays the amount owed to the RP and the NRP owes it to the state

He definitely asked me to use his mums address but it wasn’t for school applications it was just for their info. He can’t be registered at his parents because it would affect their benefits. Though he always registered his car there despite living elsewhere

She does have dc - I think at least 2 school age dc live with her but I am not sure. I don’t think she works (she didn’t in January) but I don’t know about now

I am so sad to read this

The government pays in that case. They then reclaim it once the father is earning again. (Usually, they can dock the father's pay initially, before there's any jail time.)

Mine pissed off abroad so he didn't have to pay. CMS ' forgot' to send me the letter that he had left the country!.I've spent the last 4 years going through the enforcement service to try and get something. Absolute piss take.

Am I being thick (probably) or over simplifying things (likely) but how many people actually get away with not paying council tax? Why isn’t child maintenance treated as important?

I don't know figures, but recovery ime, is very heavy handed with little to no negotiation, I got into trouble after a period of illness and the methods used were aggressive, yet my ex owed me a similar amount, which when asked if I was owed any money as part of the scrutiny of my finances, I told them but lo and behold I've paid mine off and he's had his written off.
I had bailiffs at the door, levying cars that didn't even belong to me and threatening to take me to prison, break in and take all our shitty 2nd and 3rd hand belongings (and yes I know it's all intimidation bollocks) while CMS just went oh dear, we can't do anything, we've written off what he owes.

Another one here with an ex like this. Declares £11,500 in earnings through his Ltd company. This is the figure CMS get from HMRC. Always too busy with ‘work’ to see DS, has 3-4 holidays a year. He doesn’t even hide it!

I’m not
I took great pleasure in not getting money from him
like a poxy 100 a month is worth my self respect and pride
he could swivel

he did the same to his wife eventually who had encouraged him to not to pay CS to me
so she got the same treatment eventually when he left her got his second wife which was karma 😂

My guess is she's claiming UC as a single parent. So he can't have anything registered at her address. Why else would you not tell your own children, and their mother, where you live?

To be fair I have just asked for his address with his girlfriend and he gave it willingly 🤷🏽‍♀️

Having cms forgive the debt is ridiculous. Thei ey owed is not their's to forgive.

He's not likely to affect their benefits if he's on a low income.

If she's not working chances and he wants his parents on an official school document then I'd bet she's claiming as if he's not there.

Is there a reduction on the maintenance for the two children in his home? If not he's not registered there - no chance someone like him would miss that.

No reduction in his maintenance but I didn’t think there would be as they are not his dc?
i have just asked him for his address and he gave it willingly. Honestly I think him using his parents address for school communication is because he doesn’t want his girlfriend near our dc or to know anything about our dc (she is not involved in contact weekends)

No reduction in his maintenance but I didn’t think there would be as they are not his dc?
i have just asked him for his address and he gave it willingly. Honestly I think him using his parents address for school communication is because he doesn’t want his girlfriend near our dc or to know anything about our dc (she is not involved in contact weekends)

They not being his children doesn't matter - he's entitled to a reduction for any children in his household.

I think he wouldn't expect you to report him, hence not worrying about giving you his address.

Sorry I am probably being thick now but why would his maintenance to our dc reduce just because he is living in a house with dc he is not related to?

Because they are treated as children of the household.

So just as his income would be taken into account in a joint benefit claim - for example his girlfriend wouldn't be entitled to child benefit if he earned over the cap - they are taken into account on his circumstances for maintenance.

It's exactly the same regardless if the children of his household are his children, step children or partners children - he's entitled to that reduction.

And men like him always know that in my experience. The only time they don't claim it is when something is worth more than- usually the benefits claim of the partner that they're not included on.

😱
According to the review there are no other children taken into account. She has 5 dc (1 adult and 2 dc who are 12 live with their dad) but the other dc would definitely be named if that meant a reduction in maintenance so why hasn’t he named them?

Why indeed...

My experience of that when I worked at CMS is that he doesn't officially live there

How does that help him though? What am I missing? He has to live somewhere officially surely? When he lived with his brother he had all post sent to his parents as it was ‘easier’ e.g car was registered at parents. But when his brother kicked him out his parents said he can’t live with them because it would affect their benefits. He has dc at his parents house every other weekend as he (and me!) won’t allow his gf to meet dc

Nothing much to add other than whilst it’s rare….deadbeat mums exist too.

My mum offered my dad that she wouldn’t go after his pension in the divorce if he didn’t make her pay child support.

Fucking lovely woman!

Actually - apart from the homeless does everybody have to have an address? That comes across wrong. He is is self employed but no ltd company or anything like that, doesn’t advertise his business more does plastering via word of mouth and for local authorities (but not on their payroll) registers his car/phone/bank wherever is cheaper for him to do so? Actually that has got me thinking - I know his car was always registered with his parents but bank etc? No idea. Does that make a difference?