Date asking strange questions

[JMaggs93]

Wanted other's perspectives on this as I've been out of the dating game for a while and have been taken aback by questions this man has been asking me on dates.

I'm 32 and he is 27. We met online and spoke for a while, then decided to meet up. Our first couple of dates were lovely and he seemed really nice and genuine. On our third date we went to watch a film where the leading lady was going on a date herself, a single parent etc, much like myself.

I was driving so on the way to drop him home afterwards we were chatting in the car, and he suddenly asked me if karate (I've been doing this for a few years and love it) is something I'd ever think about giving up in future. I told him of course not, why would I? He then said maybe I'd have to if I wanted anymore children etc which honestly right now I don't want for personal reasons. I found this an odd thing to say but let it go.
We were talking about the movie and the female character who was getting back into dating. He then asked me if I ever wondered what he saw in me on the dating app we met on. More specifically, did I ever wonder what he saw in me and 'all my baggage'? Obviously he meant my kids and my bad experiences with relationships which I'd told him about briefly whilst we were first chatting.

I immediately caught the ick. I was so shocked I didn't really give an answer but it's made me think that he believes I should count myself lucky that a younger man chose me despite my 'baggage'. For context, this man has a child of his own and a bad co parenting relationship with his ex, so really if he thinks what I have is baggage then surely he has the same?

I guess what I'm asking is, am I being unreasonable for feeling really put off and belittled? Like I'm not quite good enough but he picked me anyway? I did like him a lot but after this I feel really weird about him. He's been messaging me as normal and wants another date but I've been giving him short answers and avoiding for the most part. I feel really deflated after plucking up the courage to get back out there.

Dump and run. I’d have done it there and then. Open car door. Ask him politely to exit the vehicle. Burn rubber. Job done.

Go with your instincts. If you're not happy, be polite but walk away.

And this is how coercive control starts, count yourself lucky he was stupid enough to do it in the first few dates.
Don't be disheartened, but definitely throw this one back.

classic manosphere text. Did he also say he's a high value man and flash his Rolex?

He thinks he is absolutely wonderful, a real catch and is doing you a huge favour by deigning to go out with you, with all your baggage.'
Someone needs to tell him his fortune, as my dear Aunt used to say.

They're not weird questions, they're questions only a serious cunt would ask.
I presume and hope you're not seeing him again?

No just tell him that you arent interested in seeing him anymore. Its up to you if you want to give the reasons but you dont owe him anything. You only went on three dates and I would say you are lucky to have seen the red flags so early on.
To add I had 5 kids when I met my now partner and never ever has he asked me such a question or referred to my kids as baggage!

So is Lindsay Lohan's character in Freakier Friday which is on at my local Odeon in 10 minutes. Weird take.

Nah

It is The Drop

Bin it.

Run a mile, he sounds awful.

I think this is one to throw back OP. Don’t like the questions and it’s given me the ick.

100% this. He’s testing you out OP. Well done for noticing something was wrong.

PLEASE follow Burned Haystack Dating Method on FB.

My take on this is that he sounds like a bit of a tit! However, since you liked him before the weird comments, I'd send him a message and just say that you were a bit taken aback by what he said. Sometimes people say stuff without giving it enough thought.

Hes testing you to see how much further he can put you down so he control and manipulate you further. You are more than good enough but hes a massive 🚩 BLock him. id have started humming you need wheels 🎶 oldie tune 😃

Twat.

yes that was really necessary wasn't it -feel better about yourself now?

I think you may just have found out why he is single and ready to mingle! Run girl run!

Totally agree,I never tell dates/prospective boyfriends etc much about my history etc unless they specifically ask me and even then I don’t tell them much.
1.They don’t need to know
2.If it doesn’t work out they are none the wiser
3.They need to accept me for what I am not who I was…people change

Yes @JMaggs93

NEXT!!!!....

I would go on another date with and go deeper into that last conversation, ask what he meant about your bagagge, tell him he too has the same bagage so why is he asking that silly question? I would try to find out more about his way of thinking before assuming things and dumping him right away.

In the future I would advise against giving too much information regarding past relationships and being a bit more guarded. Ultimately you know this guy from Adam after 2 dates so be cautious.

You didn't read the ops post.

Well done to you for having a go and finding the courage to test the waters again.
At this stage I would concentrate on you finding things you like doing raise your confidence so that you meet a better standard of man .
Keep learning about yourself boundaries what's a given and what isn't.
By the way this guy talks he hasn't much about him by means of respect .
Don't settle for the first you think you like ... in fact date yourself find new hobbies do things you love doing that's when you meet some really nice genuine people .

She's 32. He's 27.