Husbands expensive hobby

[Leo2001]

My partner has a hobby he's extremely interested in if not abit strange but he spends alot of disposable income in it, he is disabled so it is important he has interests and there are social gatherings on occasions and events for such a hobby, but he has a disposable income of around 300 a month and pretty much all goes on this hobby with a extensive collection of goods!
I have no issue other than his collection is now growing and is obviously gaining value and he keeps asking for extra cash, ogh so and so has this for sale and it's gonna be around 400 to 500 pounds, this has happened around twice this year already and has come out the "" joint""pot, without sounding mean I am the one who works in order to give us this disposable income yet my spending money pays for any activities meals out etc and I'm beginning to get peed off with all his money going on his hobby and not a meal he pays for a change!!! Aibu?

Is it trains?

You are not a cash cow

You need to re calculate the disposable income again because you are being short changes. Perhaps you need an extra 125 each to go into activities budget. And no borrowing from the household budget for hobbies.

Oh here we go. Another unmentionable hobby.

He has to stick to what he can afford.
If that's £300 then that's it.
If he asks for extra money from "the pot" then he can't have it and that's that's.
Say "no" if he asks.

Say no when he asks. Remind him that you both deserve to enjoy your lives and that there is only so much money to go around.

He's being really selfish.

I know 😆

I always try to guess what it is.

stamp collecting, I’d say.

Could well be. I know an auctioneer who often deals with deceased estates and calls the trains "dead men's toys".

He has to stick to his budget that you both agreed to.

Tell him you are not a New York Stock Broker and he needs to enjoy his hobby within a realistic budget that is sustainable long term.

If he accesses joint funds without consulting - you need to be removing all but his allocation from the joint account into another secured account.

Adreneline and Dopamine could be pushing him to spend more, like an adicted gambler.
Try to get DH to move sideways in the hobby into enjoyable areas of low cost or areas of charitable sharing, teaching etc.

Where does his £300 come from - is this your sole earnings!? And he wants more!? He is being impulsive. the problem with collectors js they always say it’s an investment 🤷‍♀️

I’d love some Botox and filler but I’m sure if I said to my DH can it come out of the joint pot he’d say no. Like wise husbands season ticket and his new speakers.

He is taking the he piss

Is it Pokemon cards?!

I bet it's Lego.

Fishkeeping.

Is it porn? Why not state the hobby?

This one’s Warhammer

It's definitely fishing!

For a change is probably not cycling … or golf …

I’m not playing this game unless you tell us what it is.

My ILs had a similar problem. FIL ultimately realized that occasionally he would have to sell some of his collection if he wanted to buy new pieces, especially something unscheduled and expensive. If he wants it badly enough, it is worth selling something. The household budget and space had already been significantly allocated to his interests and the limit had been reached.

I’m curious why OP says it’s ‘obviously gaining value’? Are you being told it’s an investment?

If a piece/item is rare then perhaps he saves up for it or maybe it’s ok to take it upfront but then his usual spend on this is reduced til it’s paid off? Otherwise the household budget is a waste of time.

He sounds like a big kid...

Why can’t he use the profits to buy new things?

Is it MTG? They don’t call it cardboard crack for nothing.

What would it add to the post to know the hobby? The spending of money is the issue here.

Is it Opal trading?