Husbands expensive hobby

[Leo2001]

My partner has a hobby he's extremely interested in if not abit strange but he spends alot of disposable income in it, he is disabled so it is important he has interests and there are social gatherings on occasions and events for such a hobby, but he has a disposable income of around 300 a month and pretty much all goes on this hobby with a extensive collection of goods!
I have no issue other than his collection is now growing and is obviously gaining value and he keeps asking for extra cash, ogh so and so has this for sale and it's gonna be around 400 to 500 pounds, this has happened around twice this year already and has come out the "" joint""pot, without sounding mean I am the one who works in order to give us this disposable income yet my spending money pays for any activities meals out etc and I'm beginning to get peed off with all his money going on his hobby and not a meal he pays for a change!!! Aibu?

You beat me to it. Definitely Warhammer.

OP- just say no. He can surely raise funds himself, maybe eBay some of collection to get some more bits? But no to anymore family cash.

Also, your very last sentence about him funding a meal for a change…if you say that to him what does he say? If you haven’t said that to him..make sure you do.

It would be nice to be able to picture the husband enjoying his hobby, and might help us gauge the worthiness of his requests, at least subjectively.

Doesn't seem to be any reason to withhold such basic information, but it's often the case in Mumsnet that posters speak cryptically of "a hobby", refusing further definition.

I was thinking cosplay/comicon.

The hobby is irrelevant and we don't need to judge the worthiness of his requests, he's chosen something that makes him happy. I understand your dilemma as I have a similar one. Get the budget written in black and white, showing him you both have an equal share to spend how you like, and no more. Maybe allocate an amount for meals out/ cinema etc that you both benefit from (but also realise that they might be more what you want, not him).

Does the hobby involve doing something, with incidental purchases, or is it a collecting hobby where buying new things is the whole and entire point?

I agree.

Can’t be cycling this one time!

OP if he wants to buy something new he sells something else.

Another vote for Warhammer.

He can spend his disposable income on it and no more, and there needs to be a conversation about where to put / store them.

The nature of the hobby absolutely IS relevant and important here, so we can satisfy our curiosity take the mick have a laugh advise on whether or not it really is an investment.
And yeah, sounds like a big kid. 👍

Miniature cars

This!

I saw a marriage destroyed over something similar years ago. The DH decided he didn’t want his high paying job. Went to train to be a paramedic on about half his previous salary. Had a very expensive hobby - like flying. He simply expected his DW to pay for his hobby from her long hours, stressful job. She said no - and not long after walked out because of his constant complaining that she wouldn’t sub his hobby.

This is how I am beginning to feel like I need a investment in gold to compete

What do you do with miniature cars, apart from collect them?

Simple advice from me which is put your foot down and say he must keep to his budget. I do wonder whether he is becoming known in the collecting circle as someone who will pay top whack and wonder what he would get if he resold those items priced at 400 or 500?
Depending on your feelings could this be the dealbreaker for you? I am aware that it can be very difficult to leave someone who is disabled. Is he capable of understanding the possible outcomes of his behaviour?
It does sound to me that you are his carer. Do you get any carer support?

I haven’t got the faintest idea about miniature cars collecting, but is there an aspect to it that could make money? Like using his expertise to trade, or repair, or give online talks or whatever… I’d say any money he makes through such activities he can reinvest in his hobby, that’s fair. But he shouldn’t expect you to finance it (or at least not beyond what you’re already doing!)

Unless he’s planning on selling his valuable collection to fund your joint retirement (which I’m sure you both know he won’t) then the fact that an individual car is an ‘investment’ is moot.

I suggest he supplements his budget by selling some of his earlier purchases. If they have no resale value that’s a heck of a lot to be spending every month.

.

Dust the boxes!

My DH spent a lot of money on a collection, it’s now sat in the garage getting dusty as he’s gone off it, but won’t sell it. Personally, I think it’s an addiction.

He needs to get on Vinted, marketplace, eBay, whatever and sell his old stuff (anything, literally anything) to fund his hobby.

He's physically disabled so yes mentally OK, i and family care but I work nearly full time, they do resale but at no means what paid for apart from some exceptions, selling odd one happens but extensive collection, I wonder if he sees it as his retirement fund,I get told it's a investment and I'm aware it isn't as a loss would be made, I like fact he isn't bored and has a interest, but it's abit obsession at times!

Or Cosplay?

And like a kid he needs to manage his pocket money!

A quote from diecastparkingapp.com/
with regard to investment in (diecast) miniature cars (I know nothing about them tbh, just looked this up - it's an app for miniature car collectors.)

So OP it's seemingly NOT that much of an investment.

"Long-Term vs. Short-Term Investment
Diecast model cars are generally better suited for long-term investment rather than quick profits. It may take years, or even decades, for a model to appreciate significantly in value. Patience and a genuine interest in collecting are essential for this type of investment."