Kids eating all my food

[hot2go]

I have a ds14 and over summer our house seems to be the one that he and his friends congregate at. Often they will go out swimming or to the park or whatever and then come back here to hang out and play Xbox. I have no issue with this although sometimes it’s a bit stressful to come home to a messy house full of teenage boys after work.

However the sheer amount of food they get through is ridiculous. Mostly snacks and crisps but it’s costing me a fortune. If I’m here I’ll make sandwiches or pizzas but if they are home alone they will take whatever is easiest. I have spent loads over the holidays on food and it’s starting to grate that when I go to the cupboard for something there’s nothing left. I’ve suggested to ds that they go to someone else’s house for a change but he just shrugs and says they like it here.

I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to deliberately not provide stuff or lock the treats away like Dh suggests but Aibu to be a bit peeved. The other mums must know where their kids are and presumably are aware how much teenage boys eat.

I don't think it's a matter or either locking everything away OR being eaten out of house and home. There's a happy medium. That is: lock everything away apart from a couple of bags of crisps and some fruit, which you leave out for them, and explain why. Not a problem. There is no obligation on anyone to feed a houseful of other people's kids.

Of course they like it at yours, there’s an endless supply of snacks!! You need to stop making them all food or you could suggest they bring their own snacks.

I just don’t want to be that person who is perceived as being tight. It’s nice that they like it here and they are all very welcome. It’s better than ds being bored alone. And if it was once in a while I wouldn’t mind at all. But over the holidays it’s been very regular.

Agreed. Surely the answer is simple who wouldn't like to go somewhere with unlimited snacks and someone cooking for you.

If you don't like having no food then stop providing it.

And I also feel like it’s a bit unfair to leave them hungry which again is on me. I just think if it were my ds going to the same house day after day I would at least message the mum and say thank you or drop a bottle of wine off or something.

This isn't about the other Mums (it's a shame none of these children have fathers!), it's about you telling your son the parameters of what they can and cannot have.

Just tell him what they're welcome to and what they're not.

Its tough OP. My house is also the one they congregate it. I find other people so selfish as they have to know their child is being fed elsewhere. I have started saying no though when I'm not in the mood. I also find the houses that dont let them in are the fanciest and they drive the fanciest cars. Our house is the smallest and most welcoming

They’ll be perfectly happy with toast. Supply thick white sliced!

They’re 14 not 6. You don’t need to feed them.

Make it clear to your son that it’s not sustainable feeding all of his friends all the time.

Tell him he can either tell his friends to bring their own food or you can just minimise how much time they’re all spending in your house. Simple.

I wouldn’t assume DD was eating you out of house and home. I’d assume you had a system so that didn’t happen. DD’s friends come here and we never have any crisps or snack food. They all survive. There’s fruit and toast. Noodles if they’re desperate.

Ha ha this is a good idea!

You're not being tight though - tell your son that there will no longer be unlimited snacks at your house. Buy less and/or keep your stash in a locked box (in your car if need be).

Where do the parents think they are eating? Surely they give them money to buy food if they know they’ll be hungry! Do as another poster said, leave a couple of bits out and lock the rest away. YANBU.

I think I found actual footage of you, OP

Ha ha I wish I was.

You definitely don't need to feed them!! Nor be thanking each other for having them. Theyre independent mostly by that age.
When I was 14 we'd have pocket money for snacks and sometimes go to the corner shop if really desperate.

My teens used to have friends over loads, i didnt mind as long as they didnt make a mess downstairs, sometimes I'd feed them but often didn't as they just holed themselves in the bedroom playing video games!! They'd usually go home for tea anyway.
Sometimes I used to have a crisp box out or cheap bread and butter. Cuppa noodles etc whatever. Used to hear them talk about going to their mates house whose family had a costco membership 🤣

If asked by your son infront of his friends for snacks or food just say “I can’t be expected to feed everyone all of the time, I’m sorry.”

Kids are selfish and don’t really think about the cost of food etc so you saying thing might be a little wake up for them to bring their own food or go home for dinner!

They do usually go home for dinner. But that’s more because we are a family who eat late. I wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting down to dinner with a load of kids upstairs who aren’t having anything. I clearly need to toughen up a bit.

Stop feeding them! All my parents provided during the holidays was bread, cereal and pasta, plus the fruit bowl.

buy then apples, bananas and some other cheap fruit. Then offer them that.

Stop buying the food and just leave a cheap loaf and some butter out. They will soon learn! I had this issue when mine were young. They always congregated to ours because we had
“ nice food” It was only when I caught one of the little cretins stealing my fruit in handfuls, that I stopped all food! Bliss!

They’re not hungry tho right. They’re grazing. It’s an activity rather than nutrition.

and they’re coming to you because you have the good snacks. That’s worth a percentage of cost of the snacks I reckon that you’re getting a glimpse into the very covert world of teenage boys. I’d pay for some of that insight. Plusniffering them a space place so they’re not sat in a park or walking the streets.

i think you should just hide some snacks away. And perhaps try teaching them as a whole to be considerate and not hoover up everything?

Unless I literally couldn't afford it, I would be delighted to be the house that was welcoming and safe. I would just keep a big cupboard full of the stuff I could afford and direct them to that. How much are apples, squash, toast and noodles with tomato sauce anyway?

Keep your snacks and crisps in your car or somewhere else.
Toast and instant noodles are pennies and delicious

You need to tell your son that his friends need to bring their own packed lunches and snacks when they come round as it is costing you too much.

Don't be a pushover just to be polite. The other parents aren't being polite by letting you foot the bill. They must be loving it.