Kids eating all my food

[hot2go]

I have a ds14 and over summer our house seems to be the one that he and his friends congregate at. Often they will go out swimming or to the park or whatever and then come back here to hang out and play Xbox. I have no issue with this although sometimes it’s a bit stressful to come home to a messy house full of teenage boys after work.

However the sheer amount of food they get through is ridiculous. Mostly snacks and crisps but it’s costing me a fortune. If I’m here I’ll make sandwiches or pizzas but if they are home alone they will take whatever is easiest. I have spent loads over the holidays on food and it’s starting to grate that when I go to the cupboard for something there’s nothing left. I’ve suggested to ds that they go to someone else’s house for a change but he just shrugs and says they like it here.

I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to deliberately not provide stuff or lock the treats away like Dh suggests but Aibu to be a bit peeved. The other mums must know where their kids are and presumably are aware how much teenage boys eat.

Honestly , I'd do what your DH says and hide the stuff you don't want them to eat. I certainly wouldn't be cooking pizzas or making sandwiches. I'd provide a few large bags of crisps and a bag of apples and maybe some drinks. The other parents probably don't realise it's a problem because they don't know how many kids and how often you're having to deal with it.

When DD goes round to friends she always takes crisps/choc/other snacks because she and her friends know it would be rude not to, they've done this since they were kids (obviously we sent it with them then).

Fully appreciate times have changed since I was a teenager but one line jumped out at me about the other mums knowing their DC are at your house everyday therefore should think to say thanks or send wine etc.

When I was a teenager my DM and friends DMs had no idea who's house we were at as long as we were home for dinner which you say these boys are. I know with all the tracking apps these days there is less of a reason to not know where your child is but is there a chance the parents don't actually realise that they are always at yours to then think about you supplying all the snacks?

They may also not realise the total number of teens at yours if they only keep track of their child so they dont then think more on it to the point of you having to buy so much extra.

I think you've a few options 1) suck it up and stock up 2) make a passing comment to the boys that hopefully they pick up on about costs and at least leaving you one bag of crisps! 3) outright saying to your DS and/or his mates that this is starting to really cost you or 4) create a group chat with the other parents to see if you can take turns hosting or at least sending snacks to feed the group. Personally I'd go for no 2 or if I could afford it no 1

Because nobody has ever had a trivial moan or vent on MN have they 😂

Just not sure why people have to get so snippy over silly things.

Don't give them unlimited access to your food, suggest they contribute, like a pot luck
No one is exclusively responsible for freeloaders, but some parents are very happy with this arrangement as it gets the over the holidays without draining their finances
I know, I've been mugged like this
You are enabling them to pay their mortgage
Don't

This sounds like my 2 sons friends my boys 25 and 20 now they all used to chill in the house or garden had this for years oldest sons friends chipped in bought me a card a bunch of flowers and a bottle of gin as a thank you one of oldest sons friends calls me his second mam as he was here more than his own home

My son was the same, always hanging here at home with his "mates" during holidays but also after school. I always was a SAHM, most of his friends went home to an empty house so I guess that was (part of) the reason. What I did : I always have home-made soup, big kettle for hardly any money if you use seasonable vegetables. Add a loaf of bread and eventually some cheese to the offer. The guys lóved it! They came in from school or the skatepark and ran to the kitchen, started heating cups of soup in the microwave, making sandwiches. As for softdrinks/snacks/candy/crisps : the friends never went into the cupboard and my son knew to not exagerate - they could have some but within reason. My son ánd his mates are now 37, adult men with their own family. They still talk about these afternoons ❣️

I would buy a couple of share bags of Doritos/own brand party crisps a week and a couple of bags of Haribo type sweets and leave it at that (£5 max). Tell your son that these are what him and his mates can snack on, if they want anything else they will need to go to the shop and buy it.

If he asks for them to come over in advance every so often, you could then maybe make them some sandwiches/lunch but tell him it’s not going to be a regular occurrence, maybe every other week.

Oh gosh! Sort your feelings out OP!
You don't want them eating you out of house and home, but you're worried you'll be perceived as mean and don't want teenagers to be hungry!
There is a middle way - supply the amount of food that you're happy with and no more. End of.

Sort my feelings out 😂
No I don’t want them to be hungry. I don’t want them to be here all day and not feeling like they can have something to eat. Does that make me a doormat?
Im just not sure why it always has to be our house.

Absolutely this!
Stop making your Monster Munch etc available to them surely? And tell your son that’s what his mates are allowed to take.

It is always your house because you have endless food make pizza, on the console all day in a comfy house, so if you don't want them at yours as often then you have to make it less comfortable, I don't know why you are giving people sarky laughy faces, when you are asking questions but are uncomfortable with the responses. You either allow these boys to eat all the food or you don't.

I’m uncomfortable with the snippy, snidey way people feel the need to respond to what is in the grand scheme of things, a small issue in life. People are being rude, accusing me of being a doormat, having no boundaries, filling my house with junk and trying to be ‘cool’. There’s no need. All I’m doing is having a vent about how much teenagers eat.

If it’s fine for them to be rude then why is it not ok for me to respond in a similar manner?

Some of the advice has been helpful and I will certainly be stocking up on cheap white bread.

The other parents are maybe out working and their sons are doing what they like regardless of any instructions the parents have left for the day, so they just bail into yours,

Your post didn't come over as a vent though it came across as a genuine concern these kids were eating everything that was in sight and you didn't know what to do, I said you were trying to be cool with it because you were allowing it to happen and didn't seem to want to remedy the situation because it might upset them.

You need to suck it up, limit the snacks or ask for some contribution from the parents. There are no other options. I guess it depends on your financial situation to some extent; lots of people simply wouldn't be able to provide food all the time. If you can afford it then you need to decide if you want to. FWIW I'd probably be happy to provide food / snacks if I knew they were all happy and safe. It's nice that they are hanging out together, as you say.

I would buy a big bunch of bananas/apples, a few loaves of cheap bread and lots of cheap instant noodles then lock the food stuff away