Kids eating all my food

[hot2go]

I have a ds14 and over summer our house seems to be the one that he and his friends congregate at. Often they will go out swimming or to the park or whatever and then come back here to hang out and play Xbox. I have no issue with this although sometimes it’s a bit stressful to come home to a messy house full of teenage boys after work.

However the sheer amount of food they get through is ridiculous. Mostly snacks and crisps but it’s costing me a fortune. If I’m here I’ll make sandwiches or pizzas but if they are home alone they will take whatever is easiest. I have spent loads over the holidays on food and it’s starting to grate that when I go to the cupboard for something there’s nothing left. I’ve suggested to ds that they go to someone else’s house for a change but he just shrugs and says they like it here.

I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to deliberately not provide stuff or lock the treats away like Dh suggests but Aibu to be a bit peeved. The other mums must know where their kids are and presumably are aware how much teenage boys eat.

Kids eat because it's there, not because they are hungry. So I'd leave a supply of cheap frozen pizzas, loaves of cheap sliced bread, pots of cheap jam - basically cheap, easy prep stuff, and hide away everything else. Then they've got food but they're not eating your meal plan for the fortnight.

You are just worried your son and maybe the other kids and their parents won't "like you" give your son a food ration budget for the day and when it is gone it is gone. You wont win prizes for being the cool mum.

How do you feel about being perceived as a doormat?

I have taken to hiding crisps and biscuits in the boot of my car under my spare coat. I then top up occasionally . They have hollow legs

At that age I would have had a good sense of what food was free to take and what might be reserved - either for dinner or so that other people got a look in. I would sit down with your son and ask him to help solve the problem together. Assuming we want his mates to come and hang out how can we manage it so that they get fed and you still have food left in the kitchen.

Possible solution, certain food is off limits, but you and son agree that you will buy a certain set of food that he knows he has a free rein with. He's old enough that he should be learning to plan this stuff as part of the household - and it will be very useful when he moves out and doesn't have much cash.

But approach this as a problem for you both to solve together, not he's a naughty child and here's some dry bread 😉

If you can afford it, just keep doing it.

how great is it that they feel happy and welcome in your house. They have somewhere safe to be. You have a view into their teenage world. That’s worth a lot.

it is annoying that the other families (not just the mothers!!!) haven’t acknowledged this. I would be sending my son over with snacks to share.

if you know them maybe message the parents and suggest they get in the habit of bringing snacks as they are ploughing through your reserves!

Why not form a WhatsApp group with the boys' parents, then send a message along the lines of: "Love having the boys at ours but they're eating me out of house and home! Would much appreciate any contributions - edible or monetary, many thanks"

I quite miss those days. Mine are in their 20s now and when my son’s friend came over the weekend they put together a charcuterie board because they’re all low carb foodie snobs now 🙂

Sort out cheap things you don’t mind them raiding:
pack of crumpets,
loaf of bread,
packets of cheap noodles, etc

If they’re actually hungry they will be greatful, and if it doesn’t get eaten then it’s no big deal.

Why is it the other mums responsibility and not the fathers too? We are our own worst enemies sometimes, always make it the woman’s fault.

you have answers to solve this, but complaining and refusing to do anything about it, like not have the food stuffs available, is a decision you need to take responsibility for.

Don't do this! Makes you sound like a total tightwad! Either have them round and provide cheap snacks or say no.

Big loaf of bread butter and jam. Big box of Aldi cereal and 4 pints of milk. When it's gone, it's gone!

No need to buy expensive snacks and crisps. It will annoy me also!

Why is there a houseful of endless junk such as crisps and snacks enough to feed several teenage boys.

Buy things like fruit and nuts or they can make some toast. See how often they come back.

They come to yours as it is full of junk food

I was like you OP, loved having my dc’s friends round. I still always keep a few pizzas from Aldi in the freezer for any of their friends who visit.

My mum was the same. All local kids were welcome at our house. And you DO win prizes for being a ‘cool mum’ (a welcoming mum) because all my friends remember my mum and how kind she was to them. My eldest dc’s friends are now in their 20’s and always say hello when I see them around town. I am very fond of them.

I know parents who can’t wait to get rid of their own kids let alone allow other kids in their house. Can’t relate to that at all.

Jeez I can’t believe how irate some people get on here. A little vent about kids eating me out of house and home and before you know it I’m a wannabe ‘cool mum, I have no boundaries, my house is full of junk….its a wonder I haven’t been accused of supplying them with vapes and ketamine along with Jaffa cakes.

Some of you really do need to unclench. There is no need to be so snide and unpleasant over such a trivial subject. To quote my ds and his friends….its not that deep.

My house growing up was also the one that my friends wanted to come to and my parents encouraged this so they could keep an eye on me and also meet my friends. So I understand that you don't want to become unwelcoming!

@Sunshineismyfavourite has the right idea about what to provide - you can also have a chat with DS about what's out of bounds, and that you expect dirty dishes and cutlery into the dishwasher after. If they're good kids they should be able to stick to the rules.

I would tell DS that the family food is out of reach.

I would buy a set amount of snacks/ cheap food ( like white bread, ham, cheese slices, mayo, tuna, cucumber..) that I can afford. Put this in a separate box or cupboard/ part in the fridge.
DS can get his friends aroud, they can eat whatever is in the snack/ sandwich box each week. Then when it is finished, it is finished. No more provisions.
I would not cook for them.
Also, DS and friends must tidy up and clean whatever they used and whatever room they used before leaving.

Ok-aaaay....😂

(or as the cool moms would say...mk 😉)

Are they going into your cupboards or is your DS handing round food? My DS has friends over a lot but knows he can’t just give away all the family snacks all the time. I wouldn’t be happy if he let his friends have snacks here constantly. If the friends are helping themselves then that’s rude and you’ll need to tell them. One snack while you’re here and that’s it. They’re old enough to go home, bring snacks or go to the shop for food. But they’re not going to while the food is so readily available at yours. Teenagers don’t really think it through and often need to be explicitly told expectations

And a block of cheese

If it was so "trivial" you wouldn't be on here complaining that 14 year olds were raiding your cupboards and you are letting them.

I don't think it sounds tight at all. Everyone knows it costs a fortune to feed a teenage boy properly. The other parents are freeloaders.

Id limit treats or lock them away. Kids that come around will start bringing their own. Im often throwing packs of crisps and biscuits at teen dc to take to mates house as they dont think.
I have my own cupboard of mine and dh treats and kids are not allowed to touch them. Once they have worked theor way through the teens treat cupboard then there's no more until I go shopping

Could you buy the really cheap snacks and leave them out? Like those massive box of 24 crisps or something?
then all the “good stuff” is locked away?

Tbf Jaffa Cakes are an elite snack, so I'm not surprised they're clearing you out! I agree with your husband, work out a budget for dirt cheap snacks like super noodles/multipacks of the cheapest Aldi crisps etc and hide the good stuff. Then once it's gone it's gone. Shit of the other parents not to send their kids over with some snacks though.