Kids eating all my food

[hot2go]

I have a ds14 and over summer our house seems to be the one that he and his friends congregate at. Often they will go out swimming or to the park or whatever and then come back here to hang out and play Xbox. I have no issue with this although sometimes it’s a bit stressful to come home to a messy house full of teenage boys after work.

However the sheer amount of food they get through is ridiculous. Mostly snacks and crisps but it’s costing me a fortune. If I’m here I’ll make sandwiches or pizzas but if they are home alone they will take whatever is easiest. I have spent loads over the holidays on food and it’s starting to grate that when I go to the cupboard for something there’s nothing left. I’ve suggested to ds that they go to someone else’s house for a change but he just shrugs and says they like it here.

I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to deliberately not provide stuff or lock the treats away like Dh suggests but Aibu to be a bit peeved. The other mums must know where their kids are and presumably are aware how much teenage boys eat.

@hot2go I have a 14 year old boy. Him and his mates get toast with butter/jam and bananas. If they want anything else they walk to the shop and buy it themselves!!

Bananas are cheap and if they dont get eaten they can be sliced and frozen for smoothies.

Where have you dreamt up that they are staying late? I said they go home for their dinner. They come when they want to because they are a bit old for pre arranged play dates. Ds invites them.

I feel like you are trying to insinuate they are up to no good and it’s some sort of free house which isn’t the case at all. They are well mannered and mostly spend their time upstairs in ds room playing consoles and chatting. Or out in the garden. They just eat a lot.

If it’s just food eating and you are happy with that then simply hide the good food! Like people said buy in cheap stuff you don’t mind them eating. You could also make them tidy up by simply saying if it isn’t tidy then internet password will be changed for tomorrow in a bright and breezy tone.
Do you have other children and DH? How do they feel about it?

We feel strongly about everyone having access to food in our home and like being the generous, welcoming home… but going in to get something to eat/cook and finding your stores unexpectedly bare is incredibly frustrating, and we do want to follow a household budget.

Our solution with the teens & tweens is to have a help-yourself cupboard, clear bins in the fridge, and shelf in the utility room freezer. We stock it with a variety of things with input from our DC (crisps, pot noodles, goldfish crackers, cheese sticks, cheap ice lollies, and quesadilla making supplies are all popular) but it’s only restocked every 2 weeks. This summer our oldest two have actually been given the budget and put in charge of deciding how much of what to buy with it. There’s also always supplies for toast with jam or peanut butter and a fruit bowl.

Set up a way to contain the madness that works for your family.

Was ever the way with teens. My boys and their friends were bottomless pits. Beans, toast, cheese, cheap biscuits and crisps - all supermarket own brand.

They circulated round the houses though!

I hear you OP. My house is the preferred place to hang out too for all my 3 kids friends and the school holidays do feel relentless. It annoys me so much that other parents don’t seem to see the need to return the favour!!! I have extra kids around every single day and it’s exhausting.
But - like a PP said, I am also glad I have eyes loosely on what’s happening (I wfh around the chaos) and mostly my kids friends are polite and easy to have around. I have started to buy cheap Aldi snacks this summer and leave them in a box on the kitchen table.
But I do agree with you that it is really annoying being seemingly the only parent willing to host. I had 8 kids in total round the other day, one mum as she dropped her kids off was going to meet a friend for lunch!!!! I felt so annoyed, but actually, I want my kids to have a fun summer and see friends so 🤷‍♀️ what can you do?

We have the same issue with our DCs' friends hanging out here at the moment. I keep the good snacks hidden away right at the back of a high cupboard and make sure there's plentiful stuff out and visible that I don't mind them grabbing. At the moment it's a pack of breadsticks, a big bowl of fruit and some Tesco's own biscuits. They are replenished by me when they run low so they don't go scavenging for anything else. They get water or squash but not the cartons of smoothies for packed lunches etc which cost a fortune. I sent the neighbours' kids home yesterday for lunch as even though mine were only having a sandwich I didn't want to set a precedent for feeding them bloody lunch as well as snacks!

I completely sympathise though OP as mine are 8 and 11 so don't eat nearly as much.

I can understand the frustration when budgets are tight.

We always told our DC that their friends were always welcome and we didn’t want anyone to go hungry in our house, but nobody ever toom the piss.

Teenagers ( especially boys) can apparently eat vast quantities of good - your best bet is to dial down the quality of food, and buy cheaper stuff in bulk that’s freely available. Cheap bread/ crumpets/ value boxes of crisps/ own bread squash/ apples. Have a clear storage system whereby DS knows what’s freely available to share, and what’s for meals .

Don’t buy it.

Also about this thread Im laughing to myself about a recent thread about kids eating UPFs and most people were falling over themselves to prove that they dont feed their kids a jot of the filthy things.

On here all the suggestions are full of them!

I definitely would never claim to be an intensely healthy home! All sorts of free access to junk - for my kids as well as their friends.

Buy the very basic, el cheapo crisps and bread. Block of the cheapest mild cheese and bags of Aldi budget apples. Boxes of own brand cereal and boxes of long life milk. Multipacks of the very cheapest biscuits. Leave nothing else in the house.

They'll be able to have at whatever is there but it won't break the bank.

They're old enough to make toasted sandwiches, cookies or flapjacks if you leave the ingredients out, and cheaper than a lot of snacks.

No I was just laughing about the disparity. Im not keen on the idea of 'junk', what we feed kids in this country is awful, but when you're met with a swarm of kids over the holidays Im afraid thats all there is to it!!

Just so different to other threads where they're knitting a barley and sorrel salad for the kids, so tasty.

I think the other poster meant that it's not up to your son to decide what he and hso friends can eat in the house, whether they can or cannot come every day, or what time the friends need to leave.

All of that is up to you, and you should TELL them what the rules are. Not ask.

"This is what you can offer your friends" ➡

"This is what you cannot offer your friends" ➡

"I'll be home by X time so make sure you've tidied up after them".

I don't see why you can't just do that OP? 😳

Don’t buy it. Provide yoghurts, fruit, vegetable sticks, boiled eggs etc.

And leave a lovely mess for OP to clean up when she comes home?

Yes who wants teenage boys making cookies in the kitchen. Every surface will be covered. Easier and cheaper actually to get them out of a package

Well if you're worried about UPF why not make your own flapjacks and high protein bars? You'll be in control of what goes in - oats, nuts, dried fruit, honey.........cheap and nutritional!

Not if any of them want to go round there again?

Come on, the bar is so low there you're tripping over it.

I would never have dreamed of leaving my best friend's house in a state, and her parents would never have allowed it anyway.

This.

I think its a good idea as pp have suggested to leave a tray out with stuff they can have.. and also to take your son through the details. He is the host. He needs to tell them what is acceptable.. Its nice that his friends like coming to your house and you get a good idea of who and how they are. It sounds like they behave themselves.. so its probably because the food issue haven't been spelt out to them. Maybe suggest to your son that he tells them to bring a contribution when they come

Surely all you need to do is tell your son whats OK to offer his friends and what isn't. And make sure that you buy cheap and cheerful stuff that they are allowed to eat. I echo the white bread, jam, bananas and cheap supernoodles. Plus I'd also have value beans, cheap biscuits and some ice poles. Value squash for drinks (plus cups of tea!).

If you son is offering out large amounts of expensive food to his mates, then you need to address that with your son, not guests who are accepting what is offered, nor the parents of the guests, who probably have no idea that they're being offered huge quantites of junky snacks at your house.

Definitely lock some stuff away or at least put it in a cupboard that he and his mates are banned from touching. Teenage boys are gannets. Put some ground rules in place - toast only maybe.

I agree with your husband - lock the snacks away (or store them somewhere that isn't accessible) I have a son a similar age and the amount of food they can get through as a group is insane. I definitely couldn't afford to feed them all every day,, and when he goes to someone else's place I always send him with snacks.