To pay/not pay the dog walker

[sophh7]

I don’t live with my partner but we’ve been together a few years. He works Monday-Friday, long days, this has only been the case for the last couple of years (he’s self employed so work isn’t always guaranteed either).

He used to pay the dog walker for a walk Monday-Friday, but stopped this a couple of months ago as work dried up and money was tight. I work from home so would pop over 2 or 3 days a week and walk her. This wasn’t always the case each week so I offered to pay for the dog walker to do once a week (I was happy to - although the dog is fine on her own for 8 hours a day I felt sorry for her. She also had access to the back garden still).

His 16 year old son has been at my DP's house since the start of the school holidays. I said to DP I’d stop paying the dog walker / popping over to walk to the dog as his son was there every day (it’s his dog). DP said he couldn’t force his son to walk the dog but he’d try. We’re now over half way through the holidays and it turns out his son hasn’t been walking the dog. At all.

I feel like asking the dog walker to start doing once or twice a week again, even though his son is there as currently she is only getting walked at the weekend when DP is at home. I feel dreadfully sorry for her not being walked, but why should I pay when there is a perfectly capable child at home that should be being made to walk her?

Apologies for this being so long winded!

I would be massively put off a man who didn’t ensure that his dog was walked and had no ability/willingness to ensure that his teenage son walked his own dog.

I would prioritise the dog here, but it would be easy for a pattern to develop more widely where he opts out and you pick up the slack.

No way would I pay for that! The lazy teenaged article needs to get out of his damn bed and walk HIS DOG.

There’s a lot of hours in the day for your DP or his DS to walk the dog, not just daytime, like you I would feel sorry for the dog, does the dog get walked at all.

This is not your problem to solve. You should expect better of your partner, not step in to rescue him from his own incompetence.

I don't know why you were paying for it in the first place, but there are a few things here that would have me raising my eyebrows. The lack of prioritisation of the dog, the apathy towards parenting his son (can't/won't make son walk dog = wants to be mates, not parent and child?).

If work has dried up such that he can no longer pay the dog walker, why isn't he home more to do it himself? 🤔

Just to add, DP does walk the dog at the weekend and she gets a very quick round the block a few nights a week when DP gets back from work.

He’s back at work now but is behind money wise due to not being at work. He did walk her while he was off.

This. Nailed it

It’d be a turn off for me for a man to be so unbothered about the welfare of an animal. It’s certainly not your responsibility to step into the breach though!

Yeah I wouldn't be progressing this relationship tbh. His kid is lazy and spoilt, which he doesn't seem to care about and he already has you picking up the slack for him just being shit and not bothering to sort anything. That would not be my idea of a happy relationship. You're his partner, not his mum.

This is madness! You shouldn’t be paying for a dog walker-DS or their 16 year old should or walk it themselves. What is the plan for September when the 16 year old is at college?

I’ll probably work from home at his house a few days a week and walk her. She’s the best dog, I’m always happy to walk her when I can.

I agree his child is lazy. DP has also said that on many occasions too.

He walks the dog "a few nights a week" round the block?!?!?

And his 16 year old son is just sat in the house doing fuck all?!

That poor, poor dog.

I felt massively guilty yesterday because we had some stuff to do in the morning and couldn't get out with the dogs for their morning walk until gone 11am. Then they got their usual walk at teatime (for an hour) and then their bedtime toilet trip walk at 10ish.

And then I read about dogs like this and it makes me so, so sad.

And your DP sounds like a selfish, uncaring fuckwit.

This is exactly why I was paying for the dog walker, and popping over myself to walk her whenever I can. I’d kidnap her if I didn’t have cats.

It’s infuriating that his 16 year old is in his room all day, every day, doing absolutely nothing apart from playing on his Xbox.

I would kidnap the dog and give it the loving home and exercise it deserves.

Your partner is a disgusting man who has produced a disgusting son and their apathy and laziness about the welfare of what is supposed to be a precious pet is downright cruel.

And who bears responsibility for that?

Your DP is lazy for not sorting care for his own dog out. It's mental that you're paying for his dog walker.

I honestly don’t understand why some people have dogs. Very unfair for the dog to have become an afterthought like this. She deserves better. He should be paying a dog walker if neither of them are going to do it.

And your DP’s parenting? That sounds pretty lazy. Along with his dog walking.

Come on, this can’t all be blamed on the son. The common factor is your DP.

A 16 year old who's too damn lazy to walk his own dog and a father who can't be bothered to make his son take proper care of his own dog or re-home.

What a turnoff those two are.

Why are you solving their issues? You're enabling the 16 year old being a lazy pet owner and your partner for not standing his ground when his son is not doing the basic care of his dog.

I would be wondering what else the dog isn't getting.

It's evident that of the three of you, you are the one who cares most for the welfare of the dog. The son has no right to claim the dog as "his" when he's at home all day yet cannot be arsed to walk her. Your DP sounds as though he's doing his best to fit dog walks around work but he really should be taking a firmer stance with his apathetic son. I don't know what the answer is regarding your relationship but I do feel the poor dog would be much happier living with you.

Your DP does not deserve a dog, for various reasons either leave for work or start work at 7.30,I am out by 6.15 every morning for at least a 45 minute walk, usually an hour, with head torch and neon collar for the dog, why isn’t your DP doing the same?

I’m a dog walker, currently walking dogs over the holidays when the teenagers on school holidays are at home, a couple of owners insist their kids walk dogs when they’re working, and the kids do. The others keep paying me as they know their kids won’t walk them.

All my owners walk their dogs early morning and late evening, your partner should be doing this anyway, no excuse. Feel sorry for this dog, doesn’t sound a priority.