To pay/not pay the dog walker

[sophh7]

I don’t live with my partner but we’ve been together a few years. He works Monday-Friday, long days, this has only been the case for the last couple of years (he’s self employed so work isn’t always guaranteed either).

He used to pay the dog walker for a walk Monday-Friday, but stopped this a couple of months ago as work dried up and money was tight. I work from home so would pop over 2 or 3 days a week and walk her. This wasn’t always the case each week so I offered to pay for the dog walker to do once a week (I was happy to - although the dog is fine on her own for 8 hours a day I felt sorry for her. She also had access to the back garden still).

His 16 year old son has been at my DP's house since the start of the school holidays. I said to DP I’d stop paying the dog walker / popping over to walk to the dog as his son was there every day (it’s his dog). DP said he couldn’t force his son to walk the dog but he’d try. We’re now over half way through the holidays and it turns out his son hasn’t been walking the dog. At all.

I feel like asking the dog walker to start doing once or twice a week again, even though his son is there as currently she is only getting walked at the weekend when DP is at home. I feel dreadfully sorry for her not being walked, but why should I pay when there is a perfectly capable child at home that should be being made to walk her?

Apologies for this being so long winded!

How does it not massively put you off him?

STOP PRESS! Woman takes responsibility for the duties of a grown man and a 16yo boy!

oh hang on, that might not count as news….

OP, I would be SO unimpressed with both of them over this.

Honestly that's not good enough, nowhere near. I'd encourage him to re-home the dog. He clearly can't handle the commitment he took on, and yeah pretty pathetic parenting too.

Buy the dog a light up collar so it can be walked late at night.

Can’t get past someone having a pet they can’t be bothered to look after either

themselves or paying some one else
sad life for that dog

This. A dog is NOT alright on its own for 8 hours most days. This is hideous, frankly.

I’m kind of a bit gobsmacked that your partner is so useless. Can’t find a way to walk his dog that fits with other priorities and doesn’t seem able to find a way to make his son honour his responsibilities. He sits in and plays X-Box? I’d take it away until he had taken the dog out for a reasonable amount of time. Also at that age pocket money is earned, not just given and could be tied to household duties, including those relating to taking care of his OWN dog.

Don’t pay for the dog walker again as that removes the need for your partner and his son to step up. You are solving the issue and not giving either of them any imperative to do better. You’re a good person by the way but this is one of those ‘not your circus, not your monkeys’ situations.

Growing up we were only allowed cats on the basis that we did our fair share of looking after them - feeding, grooming, cleaning the litter tray, playing, etc. It hurts my heart when people don’t treat animals properly.

Quite…

I’m trying to find a way to have her at mine permanently, she’s a wonderful dog. I just don’t know how to make that happen with having cats. I can also imagine his son not being too impressed if she moved in with me.

Why is your focus on the son and not your partner?

You’ve a very kind heart. Who cares what the son thinks? He’s lost his chance to complain if he literally does nothing to care for the dog. Maybe suggesting that the dog move in with you might spur him into action? Although as you say, might not be a possibility if the cats are not happy and they were there first.

I’d be having a go at my partner about this. It’s so unfair on the dog. So what happened when his ‘work dried up’ surely he had more time to take her out then?

People who have jobs either get up early to walk their dogs or pay a dog walker. Poor thing.

He can’t parent his own kid and he doesn’t walk is own dog every day, take the dog and ditch the man.

Our dog (cavalier, which may be relevant) will not be walked by any of my kids (ages 15 to 24). He simply plants his feet and refuses. If carried to the park as soon as he is put down he runs home. He seems to regard them as litter mates not "bosses" and is very clingy to me.

So we pay for a dog walker despite having 3 teens in the house all Summer.

A neighbour used to get her son to walk their two dogs during the holidays. I’d see him sitting behind a hedge out of sight of the house with the poor dogs stood patiently by his side. On his phone obvs. Then after 30 minutes he’d get up and go home.

Your DP sounds as though he's doing his best to fit dog walks around work

He really doesn't, @AcquadiP. Weekends and a quick round the block some evenings. That's not his best, it's not even near the bare minimum.

This

That dog needs to be rehomed, poor thing

Id be taking the dog and losing the partner!! Your cats will likely get used to her and rule the roost as cats generally do. Plus the dog can be trained to ignore the cats. My dogs have never caused any issues with our cats

I would continue to pay for the dog walker once a week because if shes good I wouldnt want to lose her over 6 weeks. And if the dog likes her continuity is good for them both.

However I would be talking to DP about addressing his sons behaviour. Children shouldnt get pets, and not recieve consequences for not caring for them and this is a 16 year old with a dog not not a 6 year old with a hamster

While I feel sorry for the dog, DP needs to be ensuring his animal is happy and enriched and if you pick up the slack you might as well bring her to yours and give her the home ahe deserves

He wouldn't be my partner for long! Sure sign of a persons character or lack thereof! Urgh poor quality partner and likewise the progeny....

How did this even become your problem? Let your DP sort it all out himself

I do know how someone solved this. The WiFi was turned off until pictures had been sent with time stamps of dog on said walk. At a proper distance from home. Probably need to include Google maps or something to demonstrate the route that was taken. A shag to set up but a solution.

Could dp give his son money to walk the dog?

(and you shoujdn’t be paying).

Lucky dog