To pay/not pay the dog walker

[sophh7]

I don’t live with my partner but we’ve been together a few years. He works Monday-Friday, long days, this has only been the case for the last couple of years (he’s self employed so work isn’t always guaranteed either).

He used to pay the dog walker for a walk Monday-Friday, but stopped this a couple of months ago as work dried up and money was tight. I work from home so would pop over 2 or 3 days a week and walk her. This wasn’t always the case each week so I offered to pay for the dog walker to do once a week (I was happy to - although the dog is fine on her own for 8 hours a day I felt sorry for her. She also had access to the back garden still).

His 16 year old son has been at my DP's house since the start of the school holidays. I said to DP I’d stop paying the dog walker / popping over to walk to the dog as his son was there every day (it’s his dog). DP said he couldn’t force his son to walk the dog but he’d try. We’re now over half way through the holidays and it turns out his son hasn’t been walking the dog. At all.

I feel like asking the dog walker to start doing once or twice a week again, even though his son is there as currently she is only getting walked at the weekend when DP is at home. I feel dreadfully sorry for her not being walked, but why should I pay when there is a perfectly capable child at home that should be being made to walk her?

Apologies for this being so long winded!

His son doesn't get to be unimpressed about it if he can't be bothered to walk the dog himself.
The cats are more problematic - has the dog been over to your house before so you can see how they react?

@sophh7

why not just take the dog to yours 'for the day' & keep it on its lead, see what your cats make of it, what the dogs behaviour is like? take the adoption plan from there

fuck what the lazy teenager thinks, he's not fussed enough to walk her!

But as someone else said earlier. If you do take her in, make sure it's done properly/officially so that if anything happens between you two he can't 'take her back'

Poor dog, this makes me so so sad :(

Yes she’s been over to my house on quite a few occasions. I’ve kept her separate from the cats. They’ve seen each other, but through the window. There was a lot of staring happening, not much else.

It's not your dog!
Either DP pays a walker, does it himself or son does it. You shouldn't get invested in it.

They got the dog presumably without your involvement?

If he wants his son to do it he could pay him the same as the walker, or a little bit less? Surely that'll get him off his arse.

You don't even live there. So don't let yourself become the surrogate custodian of the dog.

Next thing you know you'll be paying vets bills and they'll probably start thinking you're a doormat. The bloke and the dog. And maybe the son too!

Does it not massively turn you off your partner that he's so lazy and selfish?! Do you find him attractive? I know I couldn't....

I couldn't give a flying toss about his son tbh - he's a teenager and not your problem - but a grown, adult male can't successfully look after a pet and do the bare minimum that is required for owning a dog? What a tragic embarrassment.

As others have said, there's absolutely no excuse why he can't walk that dog twice a day. Everyone else manages it. And I wonder where his son gets his laziness from.... 🤔

Just revolting all round. I would be taking the dog and getting rid of the "D"P. As others have said, the cats will put the dog in it's place once it arrives and then the pecking order will be established and they will all rub along nicely. Or avoid each other. But either way it will be fine and far better than the life the poor dog has now.

Personally I'd dump the "partner" and adopt the poor dog.

I presume DP’s son will have pocket money stopped? Most importantly it’s an opportunity to teach the kid about looking after things / people / animals and recognising when to help out.

Thats's some loser you are with.
Shit father too raising a lazy son.
Poor dog.

Why don't you pay the son to walk the dog? Less than you’d pay the walker. I’m sure he’d get off his lazy backside for money. Most teenagers do.

I feel for the dog but also the DS.. 16 Yr old left on his own all day... Where's his mum?

Pay him to walk his own dog?

The OP says the dog belongs to the teen!!!

If anyone pays the teen to walk his own dog, it should be his Dad.

Left on his own because he spends the whole time gaming.

Presumably he is at his dad’s house now during the holidays because he lives with his mum the rest of the time.

I don’t know why you’re with a man who treats his innocent lovely dog this way. It’s cruel not to walk the dog and what this says about him is Get Out while you can. Selfish lazy !!!!

Does your partner pop home after 8 hours at work? Either he works long days and the dog is left for longer than 8 hours or your partner works a standard number of hours. Either way he is lazy and negligent about his dogs wellbeing and I would find that a massive turn off.

He needs to get up earlier to walk his dog in the morning and walk it again in the evening, he pays someone else to do it or he gets his son to do it. If he can't make any of those options work he needs to find a better home for the dog.

As an experienced dog handler - Stop enabling this nonsense. Stop paying and stop walking. Tell them you will personally find a shelter for this dog if they do not stop neglecting it and leaving it unattended all day.

He has a dog and a child and not looking out for either and it’s reading like you’ve been appointed chief dog carer. Hopefully you don’t do housework when at his or cook for both of them. It doesn’t matter how lazy the son is, it’s down to the lax parent.

This is disgusting! A dog shouldn’t be left for 8 hours alone even if the door is open.Im out for around 8.5 hrs a day and sometimes my daughter is there and I pay someone to call in on my dog and sometimes they walk him but not always.I know money is tight with everyone but re home the dog please if it’s not going to be cared for properly.

To be fair it's been too hot to walk dogs most afternoons recently, someone could do it mornings and nights, either your partner or the teenage son. My partner will leave for work at 6am so will get up and walk the dog before and after work. Sometimes he works Nightshift so will walk the dog when he gets in, when he wakes up and before work. It's not hard to do.

Is the teenager in the house all day every day? I was never home during the day as a teenager, especially during the holidays.

Massive red flag here. That kid is just going to be an increasing pain on you by letting him behave like this.

Rescue the dog from its awful owner and get rid of your boyfriend.

I can't see that this is your problem at all. Not your dog, not your teenage son, certainly not your responsibility to pay for a professional service. Leave them to it.

[I would feel sorry for the dog except that in my experience dogs are quite happy to sit on the sofa and play Football Manager day in day out as long as they're with their boy.]

There is no reason the DS can't walk the poor dog. What else does he do with his days? If just sat at home no excuse.

It is not your dog and not your responsibility. DP needs to walk his own dog or get his lazy son to do it or pay for it.

OP you are enabling a lazy DP. It’s so easy for you and the partner to blame the teen when really this is down to your DP’s parenting. Not your circus — why on earth are you staying with this man?