To pay/not pay the dog walker

[sophh7]

I don’t live with my partner but we’ve been together a few years. He works Monday-Friday, long days, this has only been the case for the last couple of years (he’s self employed so work isn’t always guaranteed either).

He used to pay the dog walker for a walk Monday-Friday, but stopped this a couple of months ago as work dried up and money was tight. I work from home so would pop over 2 or 3 days a week and walk her. This wasn’t always the case each week so I offered to pay for the dog walker to do once a week (I was happy to - although the dog is fine on her own for 8 hours a day I felt sorry for her. She also had access to the back garden still).

His 16 year old son has been at my DP's house since the start of the school holidays. I said to DP I’d stop paying the dog walker / popping over to walk to the dog as his son was there every day (it’s his dog). DP said he couldn’t force his son to walk the dog but he’d try. We’re now over half way through the holidays and it turns out his son hasn’t been walking the dog. At all.

I feel like asking the dog walker to start doing once or twice a week again, even though his son is there as currently she is only getting walked at the weekend when DP is at home. I feel dreadfully sorry for her not being walked, but why should I pay when there is a perfectly capable child at home that should be being made to walk her?

Apologies for this being so long winded!

That’s nothing. It’s cruel and neglectful. If it’s the boys dog, he should walk it. He can’t call it his and ignore its needs. The father should insist and withhold privileges every day he doesn’t exercise the dog for at least half an hour morning and night.

Yes he’s in the house all day, every day, he doesn’t go out.

No one can “make” a 16yr old do anything they don’t want to.
However, that is no excuse to neglect a pet.
It is your DP’s problem to solve and he’s not doing it.
I would be calling the RSPCA and if that didn’t work, I would rehome the dog.

Ofc that means the end of the relationship and not because DP’s son is lazy, but because your DP is willing to let a dog suffer neglect as a pawn in whatever mind game he is playing with his teen DS.

Keep the dog, change the man
.

Agree. Your DP is “too busy at work” to be a present parent and a dog owner.
Do not buy his deflection of his responsibility on to a child for the dog.

The DP is calling it the DS’ dog and really it doesn’t matter, you get a pet for your child as the parent, the pet ultimately your responsibility not the child’s.

Aw poor dog, I’m glad he has you looking out for him, it’s so sad, I know of a few people who don’t walk their dogs at all- like ever. It’s so cruel and I try my hardest not to think about it.
Honestly I know you shouldn’t have to but please just pay the dog walker. Does he get plenty of attention in the home?

This is one step away from cleaning your Dips loo and changing his sheets because he ‘doesn’t have the time’.

This is such an unattractive trait for him to have. Do you see him (DP) as a child, and you as the responsible parent?

You have been paying a dog walker to walk someone else's dog? And have been taking time out of your own day to walk said dog? Your 'd'p allowed you to do this, he felt no responsibility or shame that someone else was taking on the care of his pet?
The 16yo isn't the issue. Your partner is.

you friend can get up early ir walk the dug when he gets back, and his sun walks during the day.
This is not your problem. Instead, wonder how a man could own a dog and neglect it like this?

Has anyone asked ... how big is this dog?

Is there a garden? And does the dog get to use it? What happens if the dog wees in the house?

If there's a garden and the dog has access to it (and is a small to medium size dog) then I don't think the lack of a daily walk is quite so important.

Having said that, like others I have no sympathy with the DP. When I had a dog and was working I walked her at 06:15 every morning (before getting the family up, fed and ready for school & work).

No dog is fine for 8 hours firstly. Teenagers are notorious for being lazy but his dad should wake up and realise dogs need walks! Our girl had an op and only allowed lead walks with buster collar on.So miserable and down. Thrilled to bi's now .back to walkies as normal. Pay DW to resume walks

Poor dog.
Lazy bloody toad of a teen. Your DP needs to grow a backbone and speak to the teen- more and more seem to be lazy sods these days, don’t want to work, bone idle.

This is really upsetting to read and amounts to neglect. Yes, the son should be walking the dog but ultimately it is your partner’s responsibility for the dog’s welfare. He should be getting up early to walk the dog and paying for a dog walker. It is not showing your partner in a good light that he is allowing neglect. What a shit life the dog has.

OP I have 4 cats and a dog (golden retriever), they all get on fine. Can I ask what breed?

But she’s not rescuing him, she’s showing compassion for the dog.

This nails it for me.

And I agree with other posters about some people shouldn’t have dogs.

If I could afford it, I’d be paying the dog walker, but having strong words with my partner. Plus if he is working again, when can he take on paying for it himself?

His son shouldn’t get a say since he’s too lazy to walk her.

Something definitely needs to be done, I love dogs and feel sorry for this one. BUT

I think some of you are being unnecessarily hard on the teen - their brains work differently. He sounds like a typical teen to me and if you are not there to prod them, they’ll mostly be selfish. Hopefully they grow out of it. Yes I know they are not all like this, I personally know kids of this age that would, and those that would not, walk the dog.

And the partner - he’s working to keep a roof above his child’s head.

It’s not that easy to rehome a dog. Dog might be better where it is. It’s fed and has a garden.

OP, you sound lovely. I hope you can introduce the dog and cats and it works out. I know several people who have both (though in each case the dogs were young at point of introduction, so not sure if that makes a difference?)

Tbh that does sound like the best option as the DS won’t get the house to himself due to being too lazy to take the dog out

I don’t know why the 16yo is getting all the heat on this thread. Is it his dog? Did his dad not get it when he split with his mum? Does he usually live with his mum? It’s not really his pet is it. If I decided to get a dog I’m not making my kids walk it, it’s my responsibility

yes he shouldn’t be so lazy but I don’t think it’s HIS daily responsibility, it’s the partners. There also needs to be a plan when he’s at college

I can’t believe you’re paying for a dog walker for a dog that isn’t yours and you don’t even live with. This would be a turn off from me. A man who can’t even sort the care of his own pet

To add - I’d love to know the working and commuting hours of the partner as I bet he could get his arse out of bed an hour earlier each day to walk the dog properly!

I’m not sure you can kidnap his dog, but dogs and cats can be introduced carefully. Get some stairgates so the cats can escape from the dog and observe from a safe distance. Unless it’s a greyhound, in which case you might not have a chance of it working.

Your partner is neglecting his own pet.

He is being a bad parent by letting his son be lazy and not take care of the family dog.

This is not your responsibility to fix.

I would never let someone else pay for my pet to be walked it’s my responsibility.

Your partner should be getting up earlier and taking the dog for a walk before work and doing it in the evening too. No excuses.

This behaviour would make me think twice about a person.

Honestly, the RSPCA wouldn't be interested as long as dog is fed, watered and not mistreated. You'd be surprised how many dogs live like this. I agree it's awful for the poor dog though.