Does this sound like he cheated (yes I snooped)

[imsolosthere]

Husband and I have not been on the best terms, barely talking but keeping it calm and civil for the kids while we figure out where we go.

anyway he was offered two tickets to a concert at the weekend and asked if I wanted to go, I said i would but think the athmosphere between us would ruin it for us both so maybe he should ask a friend.

it then came out that the tickets would include a dinner with his boss and others high up so he said he knew I wouldn’t want to do that so he brought his male friend, all fine.

he txt a picture of him and his friend and asked me to leave a key out. He arrived home at 3am, been a long time since he stayed out so late but wasn’t drunk at all. Next day I just asked where he went after the concert and he just ignored it.

I did get a chance to have a Quick Look in his phone and turns out there was 4 tickets and another girl he’s friendly with from work went with her friend. They are txting where to go for dinner before, so no dinner with boss! And then there is calls between them after and directions to a bar, he then txt her to say he’s home and she txt back, chat soon xxx

he has also taken today off work! I feel I need more time with his phone 🫣

well he has clearly lied. I would suggest you just ask him

As soon as you’re turning down nights out with him and checking through his phone… the marriage is over.

No one can say and I would say it almost doesn't matter. It sounds like things are pretty bad between the two of you and you've both already checked out of the marriage.

Why did you turn down his invitation? Sounds like he tried to reconnect with you. Not sure if the texts are conclusive of him actually cheating but he did lie.

I’m sorry OP that sounds pretty bad. If he was going out with friends of opposite sex I’d expect him to be upfront. This sounds like he lied to deter you from going so he could have a date.

I would have a level headed conversation and say very calmly that if he wants to date other people, he cannot stay married and the right thing to do is end the marriage .

Well he's lied to you for a reason. Sounds as if your marriage was over even before this though

You don’t “need more time with his phone”. It’s a violation of his privacy and completely unacceptable regardless of whether he’s actually cheated or not.

Either you trust him or you don’t, and if you don’t, the marriage is over.

ending that text in kisses is beyond boundaries tbh

in this situation (and I have done in the past) is claim someone you knew seen them. No more than that. )

That’s a lot of effort on his part covering his tracks -
sending a picture of him and his friend
the story about dinner with the boss

people with nothing to hide, don’t hide their tracks

Well he’s a liar at the very least.

I turned it down because I didn’t want to have to spend the night pretending everything is ok between us with his boss and 6 other men as I was told that’s who would be at dinner. Plus it was too short notice to get a babysitter

She’s single no husband or kids.

it’s also our wedding anniversary today and our youngest is 2 months old.

It sounds like your marriage is in a bad place and if you both are at the point of figuring out where you are going then it's not ideal him not giving you all the information/ lying.

Plans could have changed regarding the dinner with the boss, he might just not have got around to telling you as it sounds like yous are barely speaking.

They obviously got split up/weren't in each others company the whole time if there were calls and messages for directions to a bar.

Just ask him how his night went, see what he says, if he leaves out important information then you know that there's no coming back from that.

Bit risky from his side to have invited you and the story about dinner with the boss if you’d have said yes and then it wasn’t the boss going?

Just seems odd, do you think he’d assume you’d say no? Big assumption though if the dinner was actually with someone he’s cheating with.

Bloody hell! That’s 0-60 in 3 seconds! It’s obvious he lied but it’s not obvious that he cheated!

This.

How long have things been bad in the marriage?

Now that you know who was there why don’t you ask him who was there and where he went and see if he lies again? If he does you have nothing to lose in terms of telling him you looked at his phone…job done.

You've a 2 month old baby at home. The invitation to you (on the day of) of course you're going to decline.

I wouldn't assume he's cheated (yet) but it's certainly suspicious and it seems like he's seeing if anyone else is interested. Your senses obviously feel something is off otherwise you wouldn't have snooped (I'm assuming you wouldn't normally). He's a bit of a shit to do this when you've got a two month old baby, marriage is always hard work after a new baby!

I think you need to decide if you want this marriage, in which case you need to ask him about it (he needs to be honest and admit what he's done if he wants to stay and you need a serious conversation about boundaries) or leave. Or if you don't just leave. Edited to add I'm assuming at this point he hasnt cheated.