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AIBU?

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Original poster

Guests turned up 2.5 hrs late to 1st birthday party

150 replies

saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:16

Family birthday party for a 1 year old. Only guests were very old family friends. Was meant to be at 5.30 but guests sent father of family alone and rest of them turned up at 8pm. So we were all sat round waiting. Am I unreasonable to be upset?

There was no message or explanation when they arrived other than they were a bit late. Kids all got too tired and ended up in tears.

OP posts:
ResidentPorker · 17/08/2025 10:17

Yeah that’s incredibly rude of them.

Changingplace · 17/08/2025 10:17

That’s rude of them, did they know they were the only guests?

Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:17

Yes they knew

OP posts:
Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:18

Sending the Dad ahead was almost worse because it created an awkward atmosphere

OP posts:
Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:18

I felt sorry for him too

OP posts:
Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:19

It was the day of the actual birthday

OP posts:
LearnSomeSocialSkills · 17/08/2025 10:19

I wouldn’t have sat around and waited, I’d have cracked on with my plans, a 1 year old wouldn’t really know what was going on so wouldn’t be upset. So very rude though. Did they know they were the only guests? maybe they weren’t overly fussed and just wanted to pop in and show their faces, but they should have declined rather than be so late.

Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:21

LearnSomeSocialSkills · 17/08/2025 10:19

I wouldn’t have sat around and waited, I’d have cracked on with my plans, a 1 year old wouldn’t really know what was going on so wouldn’t be upset. So very rude though. Did they know they were the only guests? maybe they weren’t overly fussed and just wanted to pop in and show their faces, but they should have declined rather than be so late.

I agree with this. I would not have minded if they declined. Much better than turning up at bed time

OP posts:
Cookiecrumblepie · 17/08/2025 10:22

Rude, never invite them again.

Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:23

I know it sounds strange but I felt inviting them was a bit of an honour. They were literally the only guests and whilst not important to them clearly in retrospect a 1st birthday is important to the family

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 17/08/2025 10:26

Not sure why you waited? What were you planning on doing?
I would have just carried on with whatever you had planned.
Did they message to say they were going to be late? Did you message them to ask where they were when they weren't there?

Original poster
saHHe20p · 17/08/2025 10:28

No message. When we messaged they responded to say on their way and will be there soon. Turned up at 8. We did start slowly but were holding off on the main bits and cake because the messages suggested they would be arriving any moment

OP posts:
TripTrapSnipSnap · 17/08/2025 10:28

Why did you just sit there waiting??

Half hour tops, then you just get on with things.

Very poor behaviour from them; they would never be invited again.

Smartiepants79 · 17/08/2025 10:29

What reason was given for being so incredibly late?

ErrolTheDragon · 17/08/2025 10:32

Odd behaviour. The only explanation is that they had some sort of family crisis which they didn’t want to discuss the details of but in that case I’d still have thought they could say something vague.

WonderfulUsername · 17/08/2025 10:36

Sorry but this is ridiculous.

Why on earth didn't you phone them and if they didn't pick up, tell them you're just going to crack on?

It's a party for a small baby, I don't imagine they thought for a second you'd all sit round twiddling your thumbs.

Clearly they didn't feel as 'honoured' as you thought they might.

TripTrapSnipSnap · 17/08/2025 10:36

It's just so incredibly rude.

Next time anyone puts you in a spot like this, don't wait around forever! That's just silly and means you do have to shoulder half the blame for the children being made to wait around for hours getting tired and tearful on a day that should've been geared towards them.

Velmy · 17/08/2025 10:37

What did the actually say when you first messaged them? If they told you they'd be there any minute and hadn't show up half an hour later, surely you'd just ring and find out what's going on? Or the dad would have?

There was obviously some sort of issue for them to be arriving separately, I'm not having that he just sat there in silence when they said they'd they'd be there any minute and didn't turn up for hours.

Radiowaawaa · 17/08/2025 10:37

Very rude. I would have sent them away at 8.

ScaryM0nster · 17/08/2025 10:38

Different cultures?

There are some very, very widely ranging cultural norms on arrival times vs invites.

ComfortFoodCafe · 17/08/2025 10:38

8pm for a 1st birthday party? Id of told them to go home.

TripTrapSnipSnap · 17/08/2025 10:39

Also a great reminder that honestly, no one cares as much about your child's first birthday as your family does and it's not a particularly great honour to be invited to a children's birthday celebration. Not to be harsh but that type of thinking is really quite silly.

SomewhatDissatisfied · 17/08/2025 10:39

I bet they were at someone else’s party.

soupyspoon · 17/08/2025 10:43

What were you waiting for? What was happening?

It is rude and I cant stand people who dont turn up for things on time or who are flaky like this but, I have to say its not a 'party' as such is it for 1 year old.

Its a get together, but the child doesnt know whats going on really.

taxidriver · 17/08/2025 10:45

unbelievable
surely they must have been full apologies and explanations

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