Guests turned up 2.5 hrs late to 1st birthday party

[saHHe20p]

Family birthday party for a 1 year old. Only guests were very old family friends. Was meant to be at 5.30 but guests sent father of family alone and rest of them turned up at 8pm. So we were all sat round waiting. Am I unreasonable to be upset?

There was no message or explanation when they arrived other than they were a bit late. Kids all got too tired and ended up in tears.

But it's very disappointing for you as the parents.

Son older. They chose time out of couple of options I had no preference over.

It does sound like grandparents on both sides dictating things to their children instead of falling in with plans.

I agree with this. The OP is quite vague with her answers. We don't know if she has other children, if other family children were there or if it was just OP, husband, grandparents 1 year old and the friend's husband. She said they played a few party games before the late arrivals got there. All very strange.

Unless the son is old enough to be secondary age, 8pm plus travel is a nightmare time for a birthday party.

Mum does not work on Friday and Dad who arrived on time works from home. No school for son as on holiday.

Sorry I feel that I have answered. It was me my partner grandparents both sides my baby who was turning 1 and my two older children. Really trying to answer the questions.

So he left the wife to get the son ready and jumped round to yours as soon as he finished work.

Just because there’s no school doesn’t mean a young child won’t be a nightmare the next day if they’ve had a face full of cake and sweets late in the day and been late to bed.

I’d be less than happy if I was the mother of that child. I’ll bet you a tenner the father said yes coz he has no balls to stand up to his parents and his partner made a stand and good for her.

You say "they"as if its one unit but presumably its 2? There's the friends of your parents and then the son , wife and child. Unless they live together?
How far were they travelling?

Then why were they late to the party??? Your comments doesn’t really make much sense in that respect.

I have come to realise in this life that some people simply don’t respect others time, or have any awareness of the impact of their inability to just turn up on time. Nor do they want to be aware. Everyone can and will be late at some points in life by means beyond their control or such, but to not even communicate, and to send someone ahead (as a decoy cover basically) is rude. I feel for you OP. It’s just disrespectful.

Eapecially a one year olds party, clearly a 5:30 start indicates a birthday tea and then baby to bed…..to show up at 8? Rude.

how old is this older child?

and how close are you and your partner and children to these children of friends of your parents?

Alas there is no time machine. I don't hold grudges but I am good at learning a lesson and next year will be different. Thanks for the honesty everyone

Fair point. Communication seems to need some work.

I’d be less than happy if I was the mother of that child. I’ll bet you a tenner the father said yes coz he has no balls to stand up to his parents and his partner made a stand and good for her.

Yes that's my instinct too, and is mirrored by the fact that OP didn't feel able to go against her parents' wishes either.

So presumably they all sat there, with the children becoming progressively more tired and bored, and with some awkwardness between at least a couple of the adults, although I imagine the grandparents thought it was all just fine. Unless you meant the son and his wife picked the time? In which case that's a different story.

Learn to push back a bit, honestly. If the children are getting tired and it's past your baby's bedtime then you just need to put your foot down and give them their cake!

Yip. This.

and also. Evening parties for kids until they are teens are not a good idea.

Ops I don’t know whether you are aware of this but you have a quite idiosyncratic communication style. You have chosen to post a thread on this topic so presumably are looking to engage with others and gauge opinions. However, you give the absolute briefest and often quite cryptic answers. It makes understanding the situation and your motivation difficult and frustrating. I can’t myself quite understand what went on or why.

My point is, if you are like this in real life then you might look to yourself as a possible cause of this recent fiasco. For instance, at any point did you say something like, “how far away are you because if it’s more than ten minutes I need to crack on and feed the children as they are all getting hungry and cranky. Also, Bob’s parents are here and we just can’t keep them waiting around endlessly. If you can’t make it, I understand but please just tell me!”

Well thanks goodness your one year old won't remember this birthday. Clearly they have shown they don't care enough to show up on time do don't invite them next year just crack on.
What lunatics turn up that late for a small child's birthday?

What lunatics have a 1 year old’s party ending at 8pm?

I am not a lunatic. I am a nice and kind person. I do sometimes try to over accommodate others and I will work on that but there isn't a need to be mean. I have explained why I chose that time. I will also work on my communication.

Thank you for all the comments.

This.

Whole situation could have been solved with one phonecall from OP or the Dad.

I did in retrospect rely to much on what the dad was saying

You must have socialised with them on many occasions @saHHe20p . Have they ever been unreliable and apparently thoughtless before?

The OP has explained that her baby goes to bed for the night at 9pm.

Never mind @saHHe20p it'll be different next year!