Guests turned up 2.5 hrs late to 1st birthday party

[saHHe20p]

Family birthday party for a 1 year old. Only guests were very old family friends. Was meant to be at 5.30 but guests sent father of family alone and rest of them turned up at 8pm. So we were all sat round waiting. Am I unreasonable to be upset?

There was no message or explanation when they arrived other than they were a bit late. Kids all got too tired and ended up in tears.

They said we are a bit late

But naturally, you would follow that up with "How come you're two and a half hours late? Was there an accident on the road here?"
Or something like that.

And the Dad who sat and waited with you for hours? He wasn't bothered by his wifes lateness???

I think he was embarrassed and in truth I felt sorry for him

Well that was an understatement.

The only good thing about this is that your baby is too young to remember it.

So who are they to you?

you say a “family”. So how come none of them are children and none of them work?

They are friends of the grandparents so have known me all my life. Their son has a little boy. Who also came

Hence why the grandparents were keen to wait

So the son doesn’t work and the little boy doesn’t go to school and isn’t himself a toddler or a baby?

5.30 to 8 is a nightmare of a time for most people with young children and babies and toddlers.

I think I've got the main point that I should have been firmer and proceeded. It's unfortunate but 9 take responsibility for that part.

i put yabu because you waited. i had a family member do this once. they were v annoyed we hadnt delayed dinner for them. ffs how hard is it to be somewhere for 1pm for 1.30 dinner. we all ate at 1.30 and they landed at 2.30. they never did it again lol. this was a group of 12 people btw and several suggested waiting. i ignored

We offered a range of times and they chose that one. and they could have declined.

No. The other explanation is that they weren't that bothered and they're rude

So when they said "Any minute" and half an hour passed, surely you just ring them?

You know they've lied to you at that point.

"You said 'Any minute' half an hour ago, I need to know when to put food out. Send me a screenshot of Google Maps so I know how far away you are"

I dunno, I think I might have turned them away at that stage just to be a CF back. Said something like sorry it's all over, X is having a nap now and we're cleaning up, as no one turned up it was all over pretty quick!

Extremely odd behaviour. I would assume they had a big family fight or similar.

The first lesson to learn is:

Social events held for small children run at a time that suits the child’s timetable not the adults.

I would have waited 30 minutes and then proceeded with my plans.

As children get older rules shift to children accommodating adults but not for a number of years yet. Children should not be left hungry, tired and distressed because of ill mannered or disorganised adults.

The second lesson:

You are in charge in your own home. Not the child’s grandparents. You

You need to advocate for your child’s needs and comfort, not what is socially acceptable to the adults.

Start making firm boundaries and everyone will get used to it.

I presume the grandparents are furious with their friends? If not why on Earth not?

If you've known these people all your life you must know whether this is unusual behaviour or not. Surely your parents could have spoken to them?

Your account of events has made this thread quite difficult to understand. It is perhaps symptomatic of communication all round in the family and these friends. It just all sounds really weird. No one actually asking or saying anything clear to each other.

It's all strange. Why let them pick the time? They are "old family friends" of grandparents. Why let them dictate anything about your childs party.

How far were they travelling?

You offered to have your child’s first birthday party at a time to suit the children and grandchild of friends of the grandparents of your child?

why didn’t you have the party on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon?

All sounds a bit odd. Why were friends of your grandparents picking the time of the birthday party? Do you really even know the family with the other baby? Did they actually want to come or were they strongarmed?

What a shitty thing to do…,..do they not realise that infants go to bed at a reasonable hour?? Very rude way to behave despite the one year old not really knowing what it was all about. Wouldn’t bother inviting them ever again……to anything if that’s their attitude.

Out of interest, what was their excuse for not turning up on time?

That’s what I’m thinking.

I’m thinking the friends of the grandparents told the son he and the grandchild were expected to attend and the partner of the son has gone “don’t be so bloody ridiculous. 5.30 - 8 is the witching hour and with travel will be a nightmare” and tried to get out of it but was pushed into going.

Ti which you should have said you are hours late!

They have a young son of their own. Maybe they were thinking their own child needed to be in bed at a reasonable hour?