Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

[Donotpanicoknowpanic]

If you have an ex that left you but they then fell on hard times and literally the only option was to sleep at yours or they sleep in their car (realistically this would be reasonably long term)

Would you let them sleep at yours until they are back on their feet

(The council were contacted and no realistic opinions were provided)

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

Yes I don't think it was right to get involved either.

Beggars can't be choosers, and honestly, it's the safest, most stable option if they accept benefits and will wait for her to get a claim up and running, and get herself an advance so she can pay what she needs to pay.

Thanks for all the comments,

The message from everyone is clear

What my parents are telling me to do is correct

I will help her from a distance and decline her offer and tell her to go back to the council

My children's behaviour have improved massively since she left, a few school reports have commented that they can't believe the difference they have seen

Decline her offer?

Hope she does well and gets good support from others whether it be emotionally, practically and form filling and makes her own decisions on where she lives.

Maybe badly written

Decline her asking that she lives with me

No way,he was abusive, controlling,left me with a huge mortgage, and tried to kill me after insuring me for a large sum, after he lost his business.

No

Has she already declined the HMO place?

Where did you think she could go when you deemed the HMO unsafe for her?

refer him to https://thestreetlink.org.uk/location to get verified as rough sleeper
Give location of vehicle. Brand and registration of venicle. Physical description of him
Be specific about location so they can find him

Absolutely not

I took in an ex when he was having a rough patch with his wife. But we had an amicable split and remain on good terms. He only stayed for a few days before going back to the wife. I don't think I would do it longer term as it would get too complicated in terms of finances I think.

Absolutely not.

I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire, either. He was a complete cunt.

I’m the world’s softest bastard It’d be a no from me. You’re not responsible for him anymore. You are divorced. You are responsible for giving your children a peaceful home.

He’ll no!

She did not want to go to a HMO

It is not the case of me controlling her

She came to me and told me what she had been offered

Don't disrupt your home, things have turned around for your children, they're doing well .

This

The council have a duty to provide a housing plan
Not sure why you are saying a car is the only option @Donotpanicoknowpanic
The council must provide a plan with a named housing officer within a set time and then housing is offered.
This may be a room in a hotel, B&B or HMO

If you house your ex then you are simply prolonging the process, you would have to make her homeless at some point just to go through it all again
Your duty is to yourself and your children and providing them with a safe and stable environment.

How are people on the third page and still saying he when it’s clear the ex is a woman?

No, absolutely not.

A definite NO and this only confirms how right you would be to say No. Best interests of the children meant you have full custody of them, so best interests of the children is that this continues peacefully.

Unfortunate that your children's mother has made some poor choices, but neither you nor they need to be affected any more by that. You could help in other ways but not this. Keep saying no!

My thought is, he'll get his feet under your table and then start to undermine you again.

While you may sympathise, I wouldn't let him move in. It will be very very hard to get him out again if he restarts his hostile campaign against you.

No. No. No.
She was horrible the first time round. You try getting her out again once she's got her claws into your couch!!

She'll drop off the housing radar if she moves in also. You're actually doing her no favours longterm.

I'm sure she'll be fine at the HMO.

No
they will ruin your life again

OP people are confused because you said “she was offered an HMO but I felt it wasn’t safe”, which makes it sound like she was going to take it but you told her to turn it down and suggested her moving in with you instead, but have now had second thoughts.

And if that is what happened, that was kind of a dick move on your part, because now she’s refused housing, the council will wash their hands of her.

If she refused the HMO off her own back, fair enough. She should go back to the council and accept it.