Air BnB - would we get turned away for bringing an extra person?

[Jahavagayxn]

Okay, I am prepared to be told AIBU

the situation is group of 7 of us, 3 couples and myself (single when it was booked) booked an Airbnb for a weekend away. We are all close friends

we booked an Airbnb that has space for 7 people - 3 doubles, one single bed.

between the time of booking and now, I have started a relationship with someone and I would really like him to come. however, this obviously throws up an issue in the max capacity of the air BnB is already reached so it's not like we can just add one more person in

he's very chill, I know he'd be fine sleeping on the sofa or squeezing in the single with me. If we ask the air BnB host if we can do that I imagine they will say no though, even if we offer to pay more for the extra person?

or is it super cheeky to just all 8 of us show up and hope they don't notice?

or do I just accept he can't come? I know it's not the end of the world but I'd really love him to come, I don't want to be 7th wheel (again!) and these are my closest friends, due to living all over the country we rarely get all together for a whole weekend, so I'd like them to meet him.

It would not just be "super cheeky" it might invalidate your booking depending on what the insurance the owner of the air B&B has and how the house is set up. That could mean that none of you are allowed to stay and none of you get any money back. Definitely ask the host.

Is he gonna be paying his share back to everyone?

And ask all your friends too. Are they really ok with it? Some might be happy but others not.
So what do you do then?

LOL at all the posters saying OP shouldn’t bring her ‘stranger’ boyfriend when it’s a couples trip. Fair if she was trying to bring him to a girls trip but wtf, why should she be the only single one there when she’s not actually single anymore? Surely her friends will be excited to meet the new guy and if not tough, she’s entitled to bring him assuming the accommodation can be sorted.

Fully agree
OP you should ask the hosts
If they say no book a nearby hotel for the two of you

I would ask the host or get him to stay in a nearby B&B. I would be delighted for a friend to bring a new partner, especially if everybody else was in couples. I would be pleased for you and look forward to meeting the new man.

When is the cancellation deadline up?

I would want to have met a person I was spending a weekend away with.

Ask the hosts, or just leave it this time. Adding someone no one else knows last minute really changes the atmosphere.

Like I said, a lot depends on the guy himself.
Is he a UKIP supporter when others might be, er, not... is he a Celtic fan when the others love Rangers? A smoker when some of the group are strongly anti?
The OP might be in the early days of an intense relationship and can see or hear no wrong about her new love. That braying laugh or annoying titter is probably still music to her ears.
The times I have heard X or Y friend saying 'I'd like to bring new boy/girlfriend along, they are great, you're going to love them...'
Well, not always.

We have people like you all the time trying to sneak in extra people. They try turning up at 1am and things like that, so we don't know but we always find out.

I think you should ask the host as well lots of places are only set up for exact number of guests so 7 bowls, 7 mugs etc

I wouldn’t be keen on having someone sleep in the sofa if it’s open plan as you feel like you have to wait before they are up before you hsve breakfast. If host says yes posdibly a camping sim or something. I t try junk sharing a single is tough as adults so you’ll probably need a plan B.

Ask your friends - and ask them to be honest. I wonder if their “air bnb might say no” is actually them saying “I don’t want to go on holiday with a brand new boyfriend I don’t know”

Ask the air bnb host, for all the reasons said.

And if friends and airbnb say ok - Strongly suggests he sleeps in your room NOT the sofa, that’s grim for everyone and not fair on the air bnb host. Bring an air bed and sleeping bag.

Just ask. BIL and his partner had the cheek to come visit us when we were on holiday about an hour from them and brought their bloody camper van and parked it up in the drive of the Airbnb and the host was totally fine with it.

I, on the other hand, was not fine with, surprise, having to suddenly play hostess to in laws on my own f-ing holiday (our first holiday post-COVID). They stayed for the week and I had to feed and water them and share the 1 toilet and shower with them. They wouldn’t even buy a takeaway for us all on one night. It’s been 4 years and I’m still traumatised by the experience. Dh is a people pleaser and just stood there as they parked up ready for their all inclusive holiday (they didn’t contribute to any costs, buy any food shopping, take us out for a meal, offer to go get some drinks, nothing, so make sure new boyfriend contributes too). I have never forgiven any of them for this, as you can see. It still makes me see red.

I would just offer to bring an air mattress though, as I wouldn’t want someone sleeping on my sofa as a host. Also changes the dynamic when everyone is tiptoeing around some guy they don’t know passed out in the lounge when they are trying to get a coffee.

Assuming your mates are cool with it you only have two choices.

• Ask the Air BnB host ASAP, so you can source a hotel if if they say no.

• Sneak him in. The host won't be there counting you in and if he is, you just tell him that your friend is leaving later. He's not going to post up in the bushes waiting or watch the Ring doorbell all night. It's hardly crime of the century. If the host turn up in the morning, your friend arrived ten minutes ago.

And ignore all this insurance nonsense. If something gets broken, or the house burns down, your friend was never there.

Im not sure where all the fury and outrage has come from with some of the responses you’ve had OP! Personally I think the way you’ve explained it in your post sounds like you are a sweet and decent person, and I don’t think the suggestion of your new partner joining the trip and meeting your friends is unreasonable (plus as you say it would be nice for everyone there to have their partner, rather than 3 lots of couples and you just on your own!). The way you’ve worded things in your post sounds sensible and I’d contact the AirBnB owner saying just what you’ve said here? If it’s an issue to do with maximum occupancy for fire regs or something, at least you’ve checked? Perhaps you could say that he could bring a camp bed if they are concerned about damage to sofa or single bed with extra people sleeping on it? Hoping it’s a yes and you all have a lovely weekend!

Airbnb owner here - you definitely need to check with the host, it can invalidate their insurance and you don’t want to be in that situation. If they can’t accommodate you, why don’t you and your BF find a room nearby?

Accepting that your friends’ partners are sometimes dicks is part and parcel of a couples trip. It would be very rich of her friends to say they don’t want to take a chance on her new bf while bringing their own. I’ll give you the Celtic / Rangers supporters point though, I have dated both in a past life (not at the same time obviously!) and fck me, it’s something I would never have understood until I saw it in practice!

We've stayed in a couple of places recently where the owner has explicitly added a clause that the house is not set up for extra people and they will consider your booking null and void if you turn up with more than the booked number. So I guess there are a lot of owners getting fed up off people saving money by overoccupying and the resulting wear and tear on the property.

Accepting that your friends’ partners are sometimes dicks is part and parcel of a couples trip.

See I would want to know the partners before signing up to a couples trip - and if any of them were too dickish I wouldn’t be going! It’s one thing to book a trip with partners you know, entirely different to have a new unknown added in.

Who told him the address?

And ignore all this insurance nonsense. If something gets broken, or the house burns down, your friend was never there.

APPALLING ADVICE
If he is injured or he injures somebody or there is a medical emergency of any kind
pretending he was not there will not wash.

It is highly likely that the host will say yes
but it is THEIR PROPERTY

Please OP, don't take any notice of any of this.

I would do this. Explain the situation and ask if it would be okay and when you do offer a little extra for it.

Sorry didn't finishing posting! They may say yes which is great.
They may say no. Its up to them. If they do can you not stay somewhere close by?

You have to ask the host there are a number of reasons (including insurance) why it may not work for them that you need to check (including whether he can visit for long periods of time)
Please don’t sneak him in!

but ignore the issues with your friends it is purely about whether it is ok for the host