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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister needs weight loss jabs but doesn’t qualify

206 replies

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 00:00

My step sister has been struggling with her weight all her life
In order fir her to keep her weight stable she has been fighting food noise and cravings since about 13 but has resisted which she describes as a full time job along with exercise which is baked into her life but she hates.
she is a healthy weight and quite slim but at 44 wants a breather from her life revolving around food and food noise.
She wants the jab for some time off all this

Im fat and qualify and use the jabs - 3.5 stone down but still very overweight and now finding that that the suppression lasts longer so have agreed to order my next lot as the starting dose of 2.5 for her so she can have a month or two off

AIBU
she is riddled with food noise and has had over 30 years from a teen with total
food obsession. Virtually sticking her fist in her mouth and doing exercises rather than overeat
agreed she hasn’t put weight on by overeating as has managed not giving in but this has been torture for her and she needs a break

OP posts:
Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 07:55

MJMaude · 15/08/2025 07:49

It seems to me that there is a significant subset of slim people who are really quite incensed by WLI availability. Like they really value a feeling of superiority over those who struggle with their weight. I find it extremely odd.

And equally a subset of fat people who wish to see the slim people continue to struggle with the daily grind of keeping themselves slim and are incensed that they too would wish for an easier path to a healthier weight.

Like they value a feeling of superiority at being afforded access to WLI based on a number (BMI) which reflects absolutely nothing about the similar struggle experienced by a person who is one or two below that number to the person who is one or two above that number.

DarkForces · 15/08/2025 08:05

There's literally no studies into the impact of these drugs on a body that's never been obese. I don't go and grab someone else's anti depressants when I'm feeling shit because that's insane. Once studies are done, if they're proven safe and licensed knock yourself out.

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:09

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 06:27

OP I hear you. All the information about what this drug is supposed to help people… control food noise, satiate hunger, reduce appetite etc and it appears that it is only available to those who are unable to help themselves through their own will or actions.

Seems the best advice to your sister would be to stop trying so hard, let herself go, pick up two stone, qualify for the drug and be happy.

She’s would never ever ever gain weight
But is going to get them Herself by lying exaggerating her weight and appearing heavier in pics /video by layering up and knocking a couple inches of her height to take me out the equation.

OP posts:
KiwiFall · 15/08/2025 08:14

So what happens if god forbid she had a serious reaction and ends up
in hospital, you would be prosecuted with possession with intent to supply if she survived. There is a reason why these drugs have to be properly prescribed as health history has to be taken into consideration.

DarkForces · 15/08/2025 08:19

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:09

She’s would never ever ever gain weight
But is going to get them Herself by lying exaggerating her weight and appearing heavier in pics /video by layering up and knocking a couple inches of her height to take me out the equation.

Show quote history

Of course she is.

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:19

CurlyCabbage · 15/08/2025 01:13

Surely this is a troll thread and i will report as such. But if you are reading and this thread stays up despite the stupidity youre wanting to engage in. Let me ask you this.

You want her to have a break from her food noise for a bit. She has the jab and does have a break. She loses weight that she doesnt need to. Then what? Shell stop the jab, food noise returns and what then? Back on the jabs for another round?

Are you bitter that her ‘self control’ has worked all these years and you want her to feel the desperate need that some people suffering obesity have in their reliance on this jab? Something is certainly amis. Ive never read something so utterly stupid.

news states today that the prices for mounjaro will be now be massively raised to align with US and Europe. In some ways i am glad that people like this may be put off and not taking the p*.

Of course im
not bitter you Wally she’s my sister I love her. Proud of how she’s looked after herself and maintained a lovely slim figure all her life.
I’m just sad to hear her internal monologue has been the same as mine for the last 30 odd years and I can’t deny that using the jab has changed my life and not only have i lost weight I’ve switched off my troubled relationship with food for the last 6 months
it’s unbelievably freeing

OP posts:
Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 08:22

DarkForces · 15/08/2025 08:05

There's literally no studies into the impact of these drugs on a body that's never been obese. I don't go and grab someone else's anti depressants when I'm feeling shit because that's insane. Once studies are done, if they're proven safe and licensed knock yourself out.

Do you think everyone who takes anti-depressants is clinically depressed? How many people who are a bit blue or sad will go off and get themselves some anti-depressants in an effort to feel better and declaring themselves as depressed. It is well known that antidepressants are one of the most over prescribed and misused drugs in the world. Yet here we are…

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:22

borntoblossom · 15/08/2025 02:20

Has she tried doing keto, that really helps me with cravings, and obsessive thoughts about food. That might give her a break for a bit if it works for her.

Edited

3 high protein meals a day lots of strength training
I follow her lead and that’s exactly what I do now now I’m on the jab.

OP posts:
TupperJen · 15/08/2025 08:23

I am a huge fan of these medications for those that need it, but sadly your sister doesn't need it. She might want it, or fancy it, but neither if those is a need.

You have no idea how her body will react to the medication, and even if it works on cutting her food noise, what happens when she comes off it - the food noise could increase massively. Then she is in a WORSE position, and she will firmly believe that this medication is her "only solution", but you won't have a way to keep being her dealer. Don't start dabbling into things that you aren't qualified to deliver, this is a slippery slope that could ruin your sister's health in the long term.

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:26

Aimtodobetter · 15/08/2025 06:36

To be clear - the jabs do not address a gene deficiency that you (and you beleive) your sister have at all. They do through slower gut emptying and other aspects make you feel fuller. So can eating lots of fibre and protein / controlling your sugar (just not as easily but if she has the self control to stay thin then she should have the self control to manage her diet that way by focusing on big protein/ high fibre / low sugar diets).

I thought the levelled the paying field around a satiation hormone / gene
I’ve read that on here ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:30

Followthesunshine · 15/08/2025 06:47

You say for a breather but she won't want to stop using in a couple of months. I think you should think about the impact on your relationship when she doesn't want to stop taking your medication. You will be the one saying no more and no matter what she says now she won't be happy with you and will blame you for her food noise returning.

I thought about that and also I need mine which is a priority of course . and I cant order double
It would have only been one month anyway for those reasons.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:32

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 06:52

Do you think slim people don’t have to endure this noise? So only those who are overweight and have noise are allowed to be medicated to stop the torture?

Show quote history

That’s how it seems
but when a fat person like me gets to her weight they will still be able to continue taking the jab to lose more and then to keep the weight off
I don’t get it

OP posts:
wordywitch · 15/08/2025 08:36

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:26

I thought the levelled the paying field around a satiation hormone / gene
I’ve read that on here ?

Show quote history

The hormone you’re referring to is not only influenced by genetics - it’s also heavily triggered by obesity itself, which disregulates satiety cues, blood sugar spikes, and other factors that contribute to difficulties in losing weight. Those who have never been obese will overall have an easier time losing weight that those who have been or are obese, which is why it’s not as simple as the ‘eat less move more’ brigade would have you believe. It’s much more complex than that and it’s this ignorance of how the body responds to weight gain which fuels misinformation and judgement.

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:38

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 07:55

And equally a subset of fat people who wish to see the slim people continue to struggle with the daily grind of keeping themselves slim and are incensed that they too would wish for an easier path to a healthier weight.

Like they value a feeling of superiority at being afforded access to WLI based on a number (BMI) which reflects absolutely nothing about the similar struggle experienced by a person who is one or two below that number to the person who is one or two above that number.

Edited
Show quote history

I agree with this

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:39

iamstillfuming · 15/08/2025 07:21

If I were you, I’d just get them for her.

She is going to get them herself x

OP posts:
Movinghouseatlast · 15/08/2025 08:40

NeelyOHara · 15/08/2025 06:53

I have food noise, I just work very hard to distract myself until my next meal, like millions of other people.
‘Food noise’ is something that conveniently came along at the same time as the jabs. It’s extremely useful to shut down any criticism and to simultaneously make the ‘sufferer’ a victim.

Show quote history

So you have food noise but don't believe in food noise? Strange.

wordywitch · 15/08/2025 08:41

It’s a bit like alcohol or drug addiction too, in that once you’ve had an addiction to a substance your neuro chemistry is changed forever. So telling an alcoholic that all they have to do is drink less and learn to moderate is futile and very bad advice. The difference of course being that we don’t need alcohol to survive but we all have to eat. Which is why obesity is such a difficult thing to break free from for good.

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 08:43

wordywitch · 15/08/2025 08:36

The hormone you’re referring to is not only influenced by genetics - it’s also heavily triggered by obesity itself, which disregulates satiety cues, blood sugar spikes, and other factors that contribute to difficulties in losing weight. Those who have never been obese will overall have an easier time losing weight that those who have been or are obese, which is why it’s not as simple as the ‘eat less move more’ brigade would have you believe. It’s much more complex than that and it’s this ignorance of how the body responds to weight gain which fuels misinformation and judgement.

Show quote history

So I’m not sure of the scientific evidence but I completely disagree with the notion that slim people lose weight easier than those who are obese. If I only have 5kgs to lose that is MUCH harder to lose than an obese person who has say 40kgs to lose if we both follow the same construct… ie eat less and move more.

My sister who only restricts her calories on a plan will lose weight very easily whereas I would have to eat significantly less and exercise significantly more than I am currently to lose the last 5kgs to my goal.

KTheGrey · 15/08/2025 08:46

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 00:27

Definitely dies not strive to be slimmer
loves her body
has worked bloody hard all her life and now in her 40s to stay a size 12 and athletic slim

just wants to step off the hamster wheel and have the jab take the edge off for a few months where she’s not fighting temptation every five minutes just has no appetite for a bit - like I do now x

Show quote history

Hypnotherapy may be worth a try.

If you enable your sister with an eating disorder how will you feel about that? This is why we have doctors.

Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:50

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 08:43

So I’m not sure of the scientific evidence but I completely disagree with the notion that slim people lose weight easier than those who are obese. If I only have 5kgs to lose that is MUCH harder to lose than an obese person who has say 40kgs to lose if we both follow the same construct… ie eat less and move more.

My sister who only restricts her calories on a plan will lose weight very easily whereas I would have to eat significantly less and exercise significantly more than I am currently to lose the last 5kgs to my goal.

Show quote history

This is true the more I have ever had to lose the quicker it drops off
when
only a stone or so overweight it’s agonisingly slow

OP posts:
Original poster
Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:52

wordywitch · 15/08/2025 08:41

It’s a bit like alcohol or drug addiction too, in that once you’ve had an addiction to a substance your neuro chemistry is changed forever. So telling an alcoholic that all they have to do is drink less and learn to moderate is futile and very bad advice. The difference of course being that we don’t need alcohol to survive but we all have to eat. Which is why obesity is such a difficult thing to break free from for good.

She works in the addiction area funnily enough so understands the in and outs of the cycles of change /recovery /relapse well

OP posts:
GiveItAGoMalcom · 15/08/2025 08:53

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 15/08/2025 08:09

She’s would never ever ever gain weight
But is going to get them Herself by lying exaggerating her weight and appearing heavier in pics /video by layering up and knocking a couple inches of her height to take me out the equation.

Show quote history

Lol

SwingTheMonkey · 15/08/2025 09:04

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 07:55

And equally a subset of fat people who wish to see the slim people continue to struggle with the daily grind of keeping themselves slim and are incensed that they too would wish for an easier path to a healthier weight.

Like they value a feeling of superiority at being afforded access to WLI based on a number (BMI) which reflects absolutely nothing about the similar struggle experienced by a person who is one or two below that number to the person who is one or two above that number.

Edited
Show quote history

Who has said that?

The fictional sister in this scenario can’t access the drug because currently, it isn’t prescribed for someone in her circumstance. It would be illegal for op to buy it for her. If, in the future, it could be used by someone who is a healthy bmi to make it easier for that person to maintain the healthy bmi, I’d be absolutely delighted and I can’t imagine any of the other ‘fatties’ would feel any different.

Titasaducksarse · 15/08/2025 09:09

Gosh there are a load of sanctimonious c*s everytime there is any post about weight loss. I'm not agreeing with the OP though but I mean the follow on comments.
I'm realising the biggest divide in this country isn't class, education, money but fat v slim!

Ontheedgeofit · 15/08/2025 09:19

SwingTheMonkey · 15/08/2025 09:04

Who has said that?

The fictional sister in this scenario can’t access the drug because currently, it isn’t prescribed for someone in her circumstance. It would be illegal for op to buy it for her. If, in the future, it could be used by someone who is a healthy bmi to make it easier for that person to maintain the healthy bmi, I’d be absolutely delighted and I can’t imagine any of the other ‘fatties’ would feel any different.

Show quote history

If you read the countless threads on this subject every fatty becomes a doctor and declares how unsafe the drugs are for anyone (the borderline skinnies or fatties) but themselves…